His Har Har Lee
by blacksilkrose123
Summary: “Do. No-t. Die. On me. No-t allowed.” There was something in his eyes, hidden behind the toying gleam. His face became serious as he reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear, like someone else was breaking past this hostile freak.J/H
1. Chapter 1

It all started with a bang

His Har Har Lee

by blacksilkrose123 ©2008

**Disclaimer: only own Lee. rest belongs to DC comics. my Joker's played none other by the alluring Heath. RIP.**

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It all started with a bang.

He never was one for joking around when it came to her. After all, what was his was hers, and her? Well, she _was_ his. He'd never owned a damn thing in his life till that little strumpet waltzed in, and he realized he _wanted _one, _needed_ one, to doll up his life. So he did what only seemed natural.

He took her.

And now, six years, eighty-two days, and 54—make that 55—seconds later, she couldn't shake that feeling of those black, painted eyes on her possessively, her skin practically itching against her will just to feel that green cotton, and be held by those biting, purple leather gloves. He'd always handled his toys with care.

But she was no toy. She had the scars and fractured bones to prove that.

"Where is that damn remote?" Lee muttered under her breath, fingers groping under the bed for it. She glanced once more at the television, a live cast of Harvey Dent's memorial service. But had no interest for it. She knew what _he'd_ done to him. What Dent had become once their paths were crossed.

Her fingers snatched at the control stick, but froze. The screen had changed to _him_. He never could stand not being in the spot light for too long.

"The mastermind serial killer, the Joker, was recently apprehended at West Side Gotham three nights ago. Police are now in pursuit of his supposed accomplice, Batman, after Commissioner Jim Gordon issued a search warrant—"

Lee snorted. "Bull. _Shit._"

The room was suddenly submerged in darkness. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Okay, _geeze. _I swear I won't curse ag—_shit!_" A loud _thump!_ echoed from somewhere downstairs.

Lee stood up and flew to her closet, hands feeling around until they surrounded a familiar baseball bat. _Not good. Not good. _Another thump, followed by a sick metal scraping. _Definitely not good._

She crept toward her bedroom door, shutting and locking it with a soft click. Sighing, she steered herself back towards the bed, grip slacking.

_Thump. _

_Thump. _

_Thump. _

Lee winced. Someone was knocking at her front door. Well, more like pounding.

_Thump._

Pause.

Silence.

The phone rang.

Lee stared at the stupid thing screaming at her from the corner of her eye. She waited on bated breath until five rings had passed, when it _should_ have gone straight to her answering machine. But it didn't. As unpredictable as _him_, it kept ringing off the hook, high and pitched.

Lee stared at it full-on for a moment before launching herself across the space between the bed and her night stand. She grappled for the phone, picked it up, then slammed it back down on the cradle.

She cast an anxious glance over her shoulder, as if she were being watched. The stillness seemed even more frightening.

Then the phone rang again.

This time, she answered.

"What the hell do you want?" she whispered sharply, shoving the receiver against her ear.

It just breathed back at her. Like it was waiting for some kind of signal from the other wielder. Lee held still.

Then," Tsk, _tsk_." A tongue clucked admonishingly. And the line went dead.

Lee was gripping the phone so hard she'd lost feeling in her ear. She was shivering with dread, knowing exactly _what_ was on the other end, but refusing to acknowledge it.

Getting up, she exhaled shakily and crossed the room to the window. She dropped the phone on the carpet, freeing her fingers to jerk the pane open. It refused. Growing furious, Lee snatched the phone up from the ground and swung. But just before contact, it started ringing again.

And like the ignorant she was, she pressed the green button and lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hee, hee, whoo…oh, _uh_, hee, wooo, ha, _ha_…hee, ha. Aha, har_, har, HAR, HARLEY!_" She slammed the cackling voice into the window. It shattered, sparks of glass exploding at her. Lee glared at it madly, ignoring the pangs in her feet as she gingerly climbed onto the sill, peering out.

She shuddered. No one had called her _that_ since _him._

Oh, and how that name held memories.

Lee blinked a few times before realizing the insanity of leaping from a two-story window. He'd taught her insanity at its finest, and _he_ would have leaped with flying colors. That's exactly what he wanted her to do.

So, biting her lip with a naïve stubbornness, she pulled herself from the sill, back over the now-crimson glass, and regained her weapon.

There was a clambering up the stairs, followed by that sick, all-too-familiar laughter. "Oh, ha, ha, _Harley, _honey, uh _baby_, I'm…_home._"

Lee flung open the door.

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**A/N: Short, I know. But so are most beginnings. I promise there's much more Joker to come…if I get some reviews. You know the drill. You know you wanna click that iddy biddy lil' box in the bottom corner. Go on. It'll make you **_**smile.**_** And I'll **_**laugh**_**, and we'll go on with all the **_**seriousness.**_


	2. Chapter 2

The hallway was completely empty

Disclaimer: wish I did, but I don't. Lee's mine.

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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The hallway was completely empty.

With nothing but her rapid heartbeat to echo in the lonely space, Lee swallowed back her fear, half wishing she could _drown_ it with some alcohol. After all, according to _him_, "Spirits lift…uh…_spirits. _Bottoms _u-p_," and he finished it off with a loud pop of his carmine lips.

That was the first time she'd drunk around him.

And the last time she'd let him near her—sober or not—willingly.

She was gripping the stupid baseball bat so hard it was practically splintering into her shaking hands. Lee let the blunt end drag on the hollow floor. It scraped wood on wood until she peered over the banister.

Nothing.

Not one damn thing.

Lee glanced back behind her at the broken window in reassurance that this _was_ reality, then hurriedly made up her mind.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she realized, shakily, that she wasn't alone.

Nail on wood, something clicked from the kitchen, growing steadily louder and faster. Lee shakily brushed away the stray blonde hairs from her face. She hugged herself against the wall.

Something growled to her right.

She screwed her eyes shut, preparing herself for that damn Clown from Hell.

Until it started barking.

Lee peeled her eyes open at the enormously sleek Rottweiler. It watched her through slits, snout wrinkled up to reveal gleaming, pointed fangs. She nearly laughed at the painted smile on this dog—bright red tussled carelessly around its mouth and up to the flattened ears. But combined with his foamed slobber, it almost looked as if he were drooling blood.

Then, somewhere behind her, she heard _him._ And _hated_ how her heart fluttered with recognition. "Ah, ah, _ha._ Pet meets pe-_t._" He came closer, right up behind her, his gloved fingers twitching with anticipation. They came up, and jerkily pulled her hair to the side.

She was shaking like a leaf, clutching that silly, suddenly useless, bat in her hands. The Joker leaned in closer, _her_ Joker, to breathe her in, sniffing madly at her neck and hair. "Aww_ww_, shush, ssshhhh." He idly patted her shoulder, then reached around to grip both forearms, pulling her violently against him. He rested his painted chin on the curve of her shoulder and neck, droopily staring at the dog.

"She'll play nice. _Always_ plays nice." The dog growled, and Lee flinched. "There, _there_, sweets. No need for jealousy. Never got you _no where_," he growled out.

Lee was sure he was talking to her self, and not that damn dog.

"She's, uh, _fiercely _loyal. Faith-_ful_ till the end."

Nope. Not her.

The baseball bat accidentally slipped until the tip hit the floor with a dull thud, still loosely gripping it. The Joker peered down over her possessively, then swirled her around out at arms length.

"What? You brought a _big, _bad, ba-_t_? Believe me, my little shot cherub, I've had enough _bats_ to last me for a bit. But hars? _Harleys?_ I could drown in your sympathetic, tidy, _chaotic_ fears and still be-_g_ for _more._" He giggled for a moment, nodding his head and allowing his hold to bruise.

He smacked his lips, licking the top one for a moment as he glanced up at the ceiling, then sideways at her. "And _p-_retty soon, you'll be doin' the very same, damn thing," he swore. "You can hold me to _that_ promise."

Lee stared at him madly. _Now, or never. Now. Or. NEVER._ She brought the bat up hard between them. He coughed for a moment, squeezing one eye shut tight in misery. Like he was _winking_ at her.

She brought it up harder, but this time, struck him beneath his jaw. The Joker's head snapped back and he let go of his precious toy. But it was all she needed.

She tore off down the hall, hugging the bat to her side as she listened to him wheezing, panting, and _laughing_ behind her. "Run, _run_, fast as you can, oooh, hah, HA, but I give you my, uh, word, you'll _break_, my sick _harlequin._"

Lee had nearly made it to the back door, dodging furniture, when she heard him give that heart-quenching order.

"Good, goo-_d, _girly. Now. _Hunt._"

She was halfway across the lawn when a huge mass tore her down. Lee skid along the grass, as tooth and nail tried to scratch her face off. Something bit at her leg, shaking it madly for a moment, before releasing and going for her opposite arm.

Lee kicked and swung blindly at the dog. It growled and snapped, choosing instead to latch onto _that_ arm and not let go.

She opened her mouth to scream.

A purple hand came down on her mouth. She heard him call the dog off, as he nudged her over and climbed on top, pinning her to the soggy earth. The Joker leaned over, his greasy, jaded hair tickling her reddened cheeks. Those wide, black eyes swirled around her, off into the distance, then back. His elbow settled sharply onto her throat, just enough to constrict her voice, but not her air.

Pain ripped through her arms. Lee was crying.

"See what _happens_ when you go, screaming off into the night for Ba-_t_-man to come _save_ you? It's so…" he paused, glancing around them. "…it's so _unnecessary._ When you. Already _have,_" the Joker traced her open, gasping lips with the tip of his pinky, "_me._"

He eased off the pressure, then pushed it back down.

"You gonna scream?"

Lee shook her head as best she could, fighting off more tears as the action tore at some injury in her back.

"You gonna keep your itty, bitty, _batty_ mouth _shut?!_" his chest rumbled with unrequited rage.

Lee nodded. She bit back a whimper. _Be strong. Come on, he's testing you. _

"You gonna be a _brave_ girl for your _Joker_, huh? _Huh?_"

Another nod.

He pulled his elbow away, staring down at her through thin slits, as if waiting for an excuse to shut her up again—maybe permanently.

Lee opened her mouth.

The Joker's gloved finger shook back and forth admonishingly. "Ah, ah, _ah._ No bad noises." He leaned back, his weight crushing her pelvis and twisted legs.

"Wha—" she gasped for air, lungs burning, "What do you want…from me?"

The Joker chuckled lightly, high pitched and singing her ears off. "I just _love_ to watch you squirm." He patted one cheek, then turned and backhanded the other. Hard.

"Harley, Harley, _Har_ley," he continued. "How I have _missed_ mine." He grabbed the top of her shirt, hoisting her torso off the ground, and growled sharply, "_Mine._"

Joker pulled himself off her awkwardly, tripping over his own feet in his unruly haste to tackle the Upper Hand again.

"I'm taking you," he licked his lips, scratching at the back of his head. "I'm taking you _back._"

"Why?" It was more of a croak than a vocalized question. But insanity understands insanity.

"Be_cause_. You make me…you make me…wanna _be_, uh, a _better person_." He cackled like an insomniac school girl, ripping Lee up to her feet. The Joker let go, and she collapsed back to the ground. He kicked her sharply in the ribs.

"Get…the hell…away. From. Me."

He was laughing uncontrollably now. And he was still laughing as the metallic hiss of a knife swept out of its sheath, suddenly pulling at Lee's lips. He scraped softly along the ridges of her mouth, before settling against her cheek.

"Wanna be like me-_ee-eeeee?_"

Lee stared him hard in the eyes, before turning her head to the point where the knife was actually cutting into flesh, pushing his and her own limits.

The Joker crooned. "That's _right._ Because you have nothing _better,_ no one _better_, and you…look u-_p_…to me." He withdrew the knife before any damage could be done. Lee closed her eyes. He was softly stroking along her jaw line with the blunt end of his blade. Humming.

Lee felt herself relaxing unwillingly. Giving in. She _loathed_ him for this, making her turn into a frightened child. She _despised_ the way she was suddenly curling her body towards him, into him, seeking some kind of haven from the devil himself. And she _detested_ the way her broken heart was mending itself back for _him._

"I wish you were dead," she spat. _That_ wiped the smile off his face.

He hissed. "And _I_ wish…I had…a better _pet._"

"Then go get yourself one."

"Ah, ha, but _Harley_, you're as…oh, as good as they get. A little…" he trailed off, threading his fingers through her hair and tugging violently, "…_training_, some obedient school, oooo," his knife traced her tear-strained face, "And you'll be the…_purrrrr_fec-_t_ Pup. You'll learn you tricks well. You always did. Just takes time, is all. Get back in the _swing_," he grunted, hauling Harley back up to her feet and against him, "of things."

"I didn't listen then. What makes you…" she gasped as he flicked his tongue out a mere inch from her face.

He grinned angrily. "Go. On."

"What makes you think, in your _screwed up_ mind, that I'm going to listen _now_?"

"Leverage."

Lee swallowed hard. "Yeah? _What?_"

The Joker stared up at the cloudy, black sky, then over to her darkened house, and back down at his little morsel. He licked his lips greedily. "How is…"

"You don't have _anything_," she whispered heatedly, jerking herself from his hold to limp a few feet away. Lee stood there, swaying slightly. "It's just a damn lie, like everything else you've ever fed me. So go ahead. You've. Got. _Nothing._"

The Joker turned his back on her, hunched, before twisting around oddly. And she could _swear_ his gaze burned in the night.

"Now, now, _Mommy._ Wouldn't want _our, _uh, son to be the _laughing stock_ of Gotham, _would we?_"

**a/n: Oooooh I'm so evil. Thanks for the reviews. I eat them like cookies. So make me a fat lil' thing and I'll give you more! :**


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, come onnnn, sweets

**disclaimer: oh, don't make me **_**laugh.**_** only own the plot. reviews most appreciated though. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"Oh, _come onnnn_, sweets. Ya look shocked." He swallowed hard, panting, as if her pain was just _so_ exciting, too much for him.

He took a few steps forward, twisting his gloved hands out, pointing, then waving them around madly. "Didja really think you could _hide_ that? Do I look…like a guy…who hasn't got…a clue? Now, now, no. No, I _have_ got a clue. It's…you people, and…your silly notions that secrets keep wonderfully. But, beautiful, have I got news for you. Secrets are _meant_ to be found out. Just like promises," he nodded at her, his head shaking a little, and staring up at his forehead, "are _meant_ to be broken."

"Leave him out of this. He's got nothing—"

"But he has _everything_ to do with _us_, silly. If anything, he's our one. Last. String. To each other. So that makes," he coughed, "you two my only family. And don't I just look like a family guy? Tell me, _Lee_. Does he have my _smile_?"

He doubled over in an uproar of sick laughter, clutching at his sides. The dog, whom Lee had forgotten until now, whined noisily at his side.

She glared at Joker. "You'll have to kill me first before I'd _ever_ let you touch one hair on his head."

"Ooohh, tempting."

"You're not going to find him." Lee folded her arms. "He's gone."

The man in the purple and green suit abruptly halted his cackling. He straightened up awkwardly, cocking his head to the side. And in a dangerously quiet voice, he muttered, "Where has he gone _to_, Lee?"

"You're not going to—"

In a flash he had her, shaking her aggressively like a rag doll. "Where. Is. _He?_"

But Lee refused to be afraid. If anything, she was going to take her own fear and shove it up his ass.

"You're not—"

"What _are_ you? A damn broken record player? _Answer me. _Look at me when I'm talking to you!!" he roared.

Lee laughed, choking. "What's the matter, _hun_? Afraid you've lost your _leverage_?"

But the Joker merely growled at her, suddenly at a complete loss for _jokes._

"Not laughing now, are you? What's with the sudden interest in _family_? You didn't have one three years ago, so what, have you grown a conscience? Does it _bother_ you that your little _'harlequin,'"_ she spat, "is the only. Damn. Person. You have. Left?"

"_SHUT UP!!_" he bellowed, backhanding her again. This time, she felt a crack in her neck from the whiplash.

Joker stood up, dusting himself off angrily as if mere closeness with her were a plague.

"Questions, questions, _questions._ But I don't want to play your little game, Harley. We're playing _my _game, _my_ rules. And the rules are as follows. Number one: you _will_ obey me."

Lee coughed, flinching at the metallic taste in her mouth. "Fat chance."

The Joker's shoe came down hard on her chest, easing its grimy way toward her throat. "_Number two:_ you will talk when I _tell you_ to talk. Now that's a lesson every damn woman on this planet should be _proud_ to learn."

"I'd be _proud_ to shove all that bull up your ass for you, in case you can't reach."

And he laughed. "My, my, _my_. Our little _Harley's_ gone and found herself a _mouth_." He bent down, pinching her jaw within his leathery grasp. "And what a _pretty_ mouth i-_t_," he licked his lips, "…is."

Lee stared up at him beneath hooded lids, uncertain where exactly he was going with it.

"Is he happy?"

"W-who?" She was totally caught off guard by the normalcy in his voice, in his tone. Like there was actual concern in there, somewhere.

"Our b-_oy_, sweetie, honey, _b-_aby _b-_oy. Remember _him_?"

"Of course he's—"

"Does he _smile_ like me?"

Lee swallowed. "Yea, he smiles—"

"Like _me?!_ _Damnit, just answer the question!_" He flung her furiously away from him, shoulders hunched once more as he turned away from her. His gloves clenched then unclenched.

And Lee realized, with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she felt _sorry_ for the bastard. Pity, sympathy, whatever it was—she hated it. But it grappled with her heart even more so than passion, and she suddenly understood what he was so angry, so afraid of, for their son.

"No. No scars. Just…a…normal, willing smile."

He swiveled around, pointing at his mouth, grinning madly. "And this _isn't_ willin-_ga_? No, now, no, _no,_ _NO!_" His rage exploded, and he kicked madly at the ground, ending with a boot to Lee's already sore ribs.

She rolled away, curling herself into a ball. She hated it when he screamed. Like fingernails to a chalkboard, like a child dying, like something wasn't _humane_ about it.

And out of nowhere, that bloody bat came flying from the darkness, splintering right by her head. The Joker growled and grunted as he smashed it to pieces on the damp ground, stomping all over the chipped wood. But each time he swung, he missed her perfectly targeted body. Whether it was intentional, or he just had really sucky aim, Lee wasn't about to complain.

His fit subsided minutes later, leaving him collapsed by her side, panting and heaving with that slight cackle, like it was just permanently stuck in his throat.

He whistled long and low suddenly, and the once-forgotten dog came obediently to his master's side, staring from him to Lee almost _begging_ to attack. Joker patted her head awkwardly, then folded his legs and stared at Lee from the corner of his eye, practically salivating from his mouth.

"Puppy, pupp-_y_, pup, puppe-_t._ I pull a string and you…ah, move. But _this_ little…marione-_tte_…is broke. Broke, broke, broke. Maybe if I," he wiped his mouth on his sleeve, turning to face Lee head-on, "…fixed her. She'd _dance_ for me again."

Lee snorted, scooting away as she uncurled herself. "Can't dance to a tune that doesn't exist, _Joker._"

"Then I'll _ma_-ke my…own musi-_c_."

"Be my effing guest, _Mozart._"

He grinned, his lips twitching slightly with exhaustion. "Oh, _Spitfire._ How would you like to…become my…little…_widdle…_calf…hmmm?"

Lee rolled her eyes ignorantly. "On to the fat jokes now, are we?"

"Oh, no, no, _naw_, no. _Hee_, uh, ha, _ha, har, _Harley, my dove. My _pidgeon_ of flight. I only…_mean_…to cli-_p_ those wings-_a, _oh, of yours," he slurred. "I ask myself, I says, how can those _damn_ cowboys tell apart what's theirs from his?"

And she froze.

"_Wellllll,_" he slipped his knife out of its hilt, slicing the air with its razor sharpness. "Turns out, _Mother_, I am an excel-_ent_ composer, ah, of the, uh, arts. But, uh, you _see_, you and I, me and _you_, us, we, _husban_-d and…wi-_fe_…have a different taste in music."

"M-meaning?"

"_Meaning…_how, uh, _high_ of a pitch…can you _scream_?" He was sneering at her, baring his yellowed, flat teeth. Inch by inch, he'd been crawling closer, and she hadn't realized it until now…

"You told me not to—"

"Ah, but now, I'm _telling_ you." He toyed with the knife in front of her face, staring at her as he flipped it, and twirled it in the air, practically scribbling his life story before her. "What's yours is mine, righ-_t?_ And…oh, all's fair in…ell, oh, vee, ee…and _war_."

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Lee rubbed at her arms, glancing around them at the bitter darkness. She was suddenly _freezing._

"One more time, _Har_ley. Where's. _My._ Son?"

Lee braced herself. "With his father."

"_I _am_ his father!" _his growl chilled her further to the core. "You don't tell me where he is in five damn seconds, and I'll _find_ him my_self." _

She just stared at him.

"Tick, _tock._ Four."

"You won't find him."

"Oh, you'd better get down on your hands and knees, and pray to your damn God that I _don't_. Three." This new Joker was frightening her more than his insanity ever had. The seriousness of it all scared her to death. "_Serious-ity killed the ca-t,"_ he'd once said.

"He's with my husband," she blurted unwillingly.

"Two."

"I told you, _damnit!_"

"One and a, uh, oh _yeah, _hal-_fffff_…"

"_Ex. _Ex husband, damn you, quit _counting!_" It was knocking her off her bloody hinge.

"Ooooo_oooooone._"

Lee glared at him, finished.

"_Ehhhh_, time's u-_p._"

He climbed to his feet unsteadily, tripping over _her_ legs this time. But there was no giggling. No laughter. No smiles. And that alone was enough to make her heart stop.

"I'll be back, don't _worry_ 'bout _me-hee,_" mirthless, he started to strut away, backwards, dark abysses trained on her.

"Then…who…" she choked, anger bubbling up inside.

"_Him._ Worry about _him._ And any…uh…thing…person…_i-t_…that gets," he swiped his tongue along the roof of his mouth, "in my way."

Ex husband or her son, she couldn't tell who he was referring to. But she decided, for once in her life, not to take a risk.

"Alright. I'll take you," she sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair. "But you have to _promise_, _swear_ to me that you won't hurt them."

He held up three fingers, Scout's Honor. "You have…_my…_worrrrrr-_duh_. Oh, um, but, ah, before…we…_ depar-_t. I need to, hmm, tag my..._luggage._ Ya know…in case it gets…los-_t._ And forgets…who she—it—belongs to."

And before Lee could flinch, the Joker lunged at her with his knife.

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**a/n: wow. I mean…wOw. I must be some mean person, huh? Thanks for all the reviews. I plan on going on a diet soon from all your ego-feeding remarks. Really. Someone should deflate my head. Oh, and…if any one has ideas for something they're screaming to happen, do share. I'm a beta addict. **


	4. Chapter 4

Lee wrestled over her heart for one scrap of sanity and logic, but found absolutely none

**disclaimer: I wish I may, I wish I might, own this lovely Joker tonight. No? okay then…on with the show.**

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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Lee wrestled over her heart for one scrap of sanity and logic, but found absolutely none. She felt so irrevocably defeated, and yet _knew_ she couldn't give up. Even now, as she climbed the elevator floors with that…that…_maniac_…_lover_…_no!_...hunched down beside her, her priorities had undoubtedly swiveled and switched themselves, directing in order to _him._

And she realized, in that sick, sick moment, they always had.

He'd just never stuck around long enough to savor his little obedient harlequin.

But she hoped—with every shred of dignity left in her tattered soul—that the moment she had Christopher Owen Michaels in her arms, she'd be free to beat the shit out of his father.

Lee could only hope.

The elevator lurched to a violent stop suddenly, sending Lee sprawled against the opposite wall. She hadn't even noticed the Joker crossing to shove one gloved finger against the Emergency Stop button. Her minute frame was racked with dry sobs, trying desperately to re-boil her rages of _coulda, shoulda, woulda_ killed him. But her heart?

_Coulda, shoulda, woulda kissed him._

She shoved whatever the hell piece of crap that was to the depths of her problems, and maintained steady eye contact with the now paint-less clown. Lee had insisted he wipe it off. Make things less detectable in a public setting. When, in actuality, if her son _had_ to meet his father…she wanted him to meet—at least resembling—the man she'd fallen for so hard, so _long_ ago.

"Soo_ooo_," he drawled, sounding positively _bored_ with his pe-_t._ The Joker stared her down for a moment, cocking his head back and forth like he was keeping time to some song she couldn't hear. But then he shook his head madly, allowing his lips to practically foam with greed, before he flew across the small compartment and pinned Lee between his arms.

Undeterred, Lee folded her arms slowly. "So."

"Not, uh, backing _down_ now, are we-_ee_?"

Truth be told, she'd been rethinking it. There had to be some sort of plan she could rig up, spur of the moment, improvise or whatever. There's always a way out, an option number two.

Even with the Clown Prince of _Fools._

"No."

He licked his paint-less lips feverishly, feeding his heated joy. The Joker was practically twitching with excitement. "_Goo_-duh." He leaned in closer, eyes fixed on her lips. He smacked his own a few times with a few loud _pop!_s before leaning closer and pressing his scarred cheek to her perfect one.

The Joker nuzzled her for a moment, before resting his forehead on the mirrored wall beside her head, still pressed over her. He sighed loudly.

"Ya _know_, matching is a, uh, _fashion_ statemen-_t_ these, ah, days, _Har_ley."

She twisted her head to the side, away. He stared down at her neck, a sadistic smile spreading across his scarred, pale grin.

"And what you _wouldn't_ give to, um," he coughed, "be like _Daddy, _hmm?"

"I could never, _ever_ do what you've done. Screw appearances. You sold your soul to the devil a _long_ time ago, so. Joke's. On. _You._" She narrowed her eyes at him, poking his chest for emphasis.

He stared down at her finger long and hard. "M_e_?" he crooned innocently. Then his chest rumbled with something forbidden. "I _am_ the devil, _little girl._ Play with peoples lives until they finally _ge-_t i-_t. _That _allllll_ of this," the Joker waved his hands around for dramatic effect, "Is so just…well it's really just _hysterical._ And me? Well, _me_, I have to, ah, point out the _smiling_ side. Or no one _gets_," his fingers twisted in the air, drawing to his chest, "it."

Lee suddenly found her wrist caught up in his purple, leathery grasp. He jerked it this way and that before finally bringing her own finger against her neck.

Joker inhaled loudly. "Don't you just…_love_ the smell of fresssssh pain-_t?_"

She groaned in pain, flinching as her own nail dug into the newly cut scars there. Results of his _artistic_ passion.

He pulled her finger to his mouth before swiping his tongue at her crimson flesh. Smacking his lips a few times, he scrunched up his face and threw her hand away from him, pacing back over to the wall of buttons.

"See, here's _your_ problem, _Lee._ You're pro-_per_-ty. But just don't see it yet, hmm? Ya think that _maybe_ there's purpose here, hmmmm? Like, upstairs has got _plans_ for ya. But _I_ say, I _pai-_duh my price for you years and _years_ ago, sweets. So, uh, _legally?_ You'll never be anything bu-_t_ mine."

And the elevator was moving again.

Lee inhaled sharply, taking a deep breath as she glared back at him. He leaned up against the opposite wall, head bowed, and staring her back beneath darkly outlined lashes. He _had_ insisted on at least keeping the mascara. Strikes fear in people, what they don't understand, he'd said.

"You're wrong, you know."

He just quirked a brow, having lost all interest in her lack of spirit.

"I _am_ worth something," she continued. "It's you who doesn't have a flying effing purpose in this stupid city."

"Ooo_oooh_, but that's where, uh, not to, ha, point _fingers, _bu-_t_, you are _very_ wrong." He unfolded himself and stood as straight as he could, turning to face the doors. "And hey-a, you _aren't_ worthless…to _me_, toots, or else you would've been taken _ou-_t with the _t-_rash a long time ago. But to everyone _else_? You're just, uhh, _used goods._"

The doors slid open and Lee was the first one out, Joker hot on her heels. He followed closely until she'd reached a certain door, where she stopped, and he kept going as if she'd never existed.

"Good _riddance_," she snapped at the door, hoisting her hand to knock.

"I _hear-_d that, _pet_."

Her knuckles came down hard on the wood.

It swung open minutes later. "What…the _hell_, Lee?"

"Simon," she sighed, suddenly sagging against the frame of the door. "Look, I know it's your weekend, but—"

"Yeah, yeah, alright. Get in," he muttered, opening the door just wide enough so she had to duck under his arm. He started to slam the locks into place when Lee stopped him.

"I won't be long. I just…I just have to see him, okay?"

His blue eyes widened, then narrowed sharply in suspicion. "Something going on that I don't know about, Lee?"

She stalked down the hall, ignoring him as she peered through different rooms. She reached the last—empty. "_Shit. _Oh, shit, shit, _shit!_"

Simon had caught up with her in three long strides, suddenly holding her face in his hands. "What's going on, Lee? You don't just walk into my apartment like some _crazy_, lunatic, _freak_, demanding for _our_ son, and not tell me why."

Lee jerked her jaw out of his palm. "I'm fine," she hissed. "It's nothing, I was just worried, is all." Calm. Calm. _Keep your voice calm so he doesn't suspect a—_

"You can stand there and keep spitting lies in my face, but I'm not letting you leave until you explain yourself."

"I'd _love_ to see you stop me."

He took one step closer, towering over her. She could smell that sickly familiar twinge in his breath, and with a sinking feeling reality struck. _Not. Good._

Lee stepped around him, walking quickly into the kitchenette, eyes immediately drawn to the line of empty bottles, some spilled over, aiming at her—and she was a sitting duck.

Her eyes flitted around the place, suddenly realizing just how many russet aluminums and glasses there were, crowding the stained tables, surrounding the couches and floor.

"Have you been drinking?"

He came up behind her, just leaning lazily against the wall, hands shoved in pockets, practically devouring her with those baby blue eyes. "Maybe."

"_Damnit¸_ Sy, you _can't_ do this to me and Christopher. The judge made it perfectly—"

"Screw him."

"Then _I_ made it perfectly clear, _Simon._ If you wanted to see our son, _ever,_ you had to fix everything. So what the hell is this?" she waved her arms around her, then stared at him hard.

He shrugged. "Relapse?"

Simon slid away from the wall, ambling unsteadily towards her. Eyes red. Nostrils flaring. "_Relapse?_ I'll show you _relapse_." Within seconds, Lee had several amber bottles in her hands.

"Oh, what're you gonna _do_?" Simon taunted, sidling closer. "Gonna…_cut_ me with it? Yeah. Then we'll _both_ be off to the hammer. Then where'll Chris be?"

"_Safe._"

He chuckled.

"So where's our _son_, Jeremy?"

His hand came up to tousle his unshaven chin, as if pondering her question. "You know, I don't really give a damn where _your_ son is."

Lee dropped the bottles in her arm, all save one. They shattered, flickering across the floor like deadly chocolate.

"Yea. I _know_ it's not mine. _Your_ kid. I was just some lucky back-up plan. Right?"

"Right." _Play along like a good little pe-t._

"So. Now I get to ask the questions. Did _he_ do that to you?"

Her brow knit in confusion.

In a flash, he was in front of her, musty fingers tangled in her hair and jerking her head to the side, fingering her neck. He pulled his hand away, flashing his digits in her face. They had come away dark red.

"Did he _do_ that to you?" Simon repeated, tracing the awkward three lines, a sloppily carved brand. She couldn't see it, but she could almost _feel_ the _J_ searing her veins.

She swallowed back the steadily rising bile. "Yes. But that's none of your damn business."

Simon frowned. Quick as lightning, he'd pulled away, and backhanded her so hard; she collapsed on the fragments of bottles. "I have every _right_ to get into your business. We were married for three years. So yeah, it _is_ my business."

Lee's vision had gone out with the force of the blow. She hesitated, ignoring the pain ripping through her skin. Little cuts. But _thousands_ of little cuts. She blinked a few times, and lifted her arm up to reveal shards shoved neatly into her skin, like a final masterpiece.

She stayed down.

"I just…want to know…_where_…he…is…" Her voice sounded weak, cracking in all the points that were supposed to be _strong._ She was _supposed_ to be strong.

Simon laughed, and as sick as it sounded in her head, she preferred the clown's laugh to his. She'd prefer anything the Joker had, to this drunken, abusing wanna-be-man. At least _he_ was a man of his _wor-_d.

"Want me to get him?" It was low, too low. Like they both knew it was too late, or something.

Lee pulled herself shakily to her knees. She was so _sick_ of being pushed around. "No. No, I don't want you to. I don't want him _near_ you."

"Well, that's just _dandy._ Because, babe? I'm not through with you _yet._"

He closed the space between them quickly.

Lee stayed on her knees, upright and waiting for that final relief. Maybe the Joker would just save Christopher. But he had a better chance with _him_ than her.

"Ah, _ah, a-hhh._ My t-_urn._"

He'd come out of nowhere.

As if he'd been there the whole time.

And maybe he had.

Her savior, her knight in purple and green armor.

_Okay, maybe that was a little too far…_

And she _smiled._ She actually smiled. At _him._

But he just stared and let his scars do the grinning.

He was at Simon's side, Simon eyeing him with intoxicated confusion.

And before either could react, a purple, leathered glove fisted and flew through the air.

Lee was back on the ground, where she'd started, her head throbbing.

_Oh. Shit._

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**a/n: oh wow. I have fans! and I'm just so evil to all of you. oh well. it's life, right? right. I know, I know. don't beat me. not much Joker in this chapter, but I promise there's more in the next. I hope. better pray I don't run out of ideas. thanks to all of you for your support! you guys are like…awesome. like…laugherific awesome. like, i'm gonna shut up now before I get shot…ahaha… **


	5. Chapter 5

The room was spinning

**disclaimer: no. no. no. for the 28963th time, no. oh, and for any confusion, Heath's my baby Joker. so…that's how I imagine him to be, and that's how it must be so! **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

_jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk_

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The room was spinning.

But not just the topsy turving.

It was actually flying in colors and circles, and Lee did all she could to keep down whatever she'd eaten for dinner, and to keep from crying out. It wasn't so much from pain though, but more so of _surprise._

True colors are shown in the darkest of moments, right?

And boy, was that clown _colorful._

Simon's eyes flitted from Lee to the Joker, then back, before flopping down onto the nearby couch. "I would totally _assssk_," he slurred, blinking hazily, "who you are. But," he hiccupped, "it's not that…hhhard to…figure…"

"Ah, and, _uh¸_ who does, hm, _Sssssimon_ say I am?" The Joker was giggling uncontrollably, stretching his fingers before his eyes, before raking them through his greased hair. His tongue flitted out, and Simon flinched a little before continuing.

"You're _the guy._"

"Ohhh, hoo, wow-_ee_, re-_markable_ sense of observation, you have, kidd-_o_."

"Nononono, you're _him._ _Her _him_._ Lee's…f—…Lee's f—" Simon squinted hard, his face turning red as if the mere thought process were doing more harm than good.

"_Ffffff_," Joker taunted.

Simon stopped and glared at him. He inhaled sharply, then let it out. "You're Lee's _first._ So…so, that makes that…_brat_…and his…_bitch…_of a mother…yours."

The Joker shrugged stiffly, suddenly too rigid for his swiveling, hunched, awkward body. "First _come_, firs-_t_ serve."

Lee crumpled back to the ground, trying to pick at the pieces of reality. So she waited. Hoping to God some miracle would happen and they'd both decapitate themselves. But she'd take a slow death too—beggars can't be choosers.

"So you, uh, what. Like to play it rough too?" Simon took another swig from another bottle, nudging Lee's sides with his toes.

But the paint-less Joker ignored him, blackened eyes fixed only on Lee, who was hardly moving anymore. He suddenly turned his back on both of them and gawkily waltzed over to the kitchen sink, all too contradictory of his attitude.

"You know. You remind me of…someone." Simon glanced over his shoulder, then leant forward on the couch, hovering over Lee. "And I gotta say, she's got _guts_ for going after…a nut…bastard like you." He laughed, his sweaty hand palming Lee's head. He twisted it around for a moment, mesmerized by the blood streaking on her face, and then that brand on her neck.

"What's the J stand for?"

"Jack. _Ass._"

Simon snorted. "You know, I always had her pegged as one, too."

"Not _her._" But Simon ignored him.

The Joker reappeared, several fresh bottles stuffed in his arms. He scooted in next to Simon and for a moment they just sat and watched Lee wheezing on the floor.

"I would say…" Simon laughed, coughed, then sniffed before downing the rest of his beer. "I would s-say to…hhhhelp yourself, but…yea, you already _did._"

"I don'_t_ durrr-_ink, _and p-lay with, uh, glass _knives._"

"Huh. _Huh._ Well…damn me…neither. Not after…" He trailed off, reaching over to pop the top off another glass. He swirled the limber liquid around, curiously peering through the distorted, tented glass.

"Didja," Joker licked his lips agitatedly, no longer out of sheer anticipation, but rage. There was a slowness to it, hesitation as he became too still, fingers tightening on two bottles. "Did_ja_? Learn your less-_on_?" But Simon couldn't tell.

Lee could hear it. The mirthless tone was enough to warn any _sober_ person.

"_Har_ley, here, learnt hers. Didn'_tcha?_" He nodded at her strangely, head suddenly up, down, all around in a circular motion, before sliding his gaze back to Simon.

Simon giggled, practically hugging his liquid oxygen to his chest. "How in the…_hell_ did you train her? I tried _ev-er-y-thing._ But," he chuckled, "I found that stupid _boy_ of hers…to be…awfully…_persuasive._ Then she'd shut it and lie down like a good little whore."

The Joker ignored him. Save for the sharp edge in his voice now. "Yes, yes, _yeshhh,_ our widdle _Lee_, there, and there, is, uh, house broken…now. And, aha, _hee_, oh, she's, uh, learned quite a few trick-_s_. Like, _like,_" he was smiling now, clearly amused with himself, "_Ha! _She learned…you wanna know what she learned?"

"What…?"

"Ooooh, _weee_, Simon _says_ he wants to know what she _learned_ at her little obedien-_tuh _school. I taught her, oh, go on and _ask_. Play along, _Simon._"

Simon hiccupped and grinned insanely, gulping down a few more mouthfuls of alcohol. "You are _something._ But yeah. Alright. Simon says _tell._"

"Well, _see-eee_, I'm gonna…do you wanna…oh, of _course_ you do!" The Joker slapped his thigh with delight.

"Do I wanna…what?"

"_Learn._ Ya know…a free…_schooling._" He wiped his mouth on his sleeve, nearly frothing with overexertion of pure _joy._

Simon smiled. "Why the hell not?"

"Right, right, well…firs-_t_, I'm gonna, oh, I taught her to, uh, p-_lay._ Yes, yeah, hmmm, play _something._ But, ha, ya know, what I used to be?"

He shook his head, staring down the neck of his glass bottle.

"I used to be…a _funny_ guy. You know, with the…" he trailed off, waving his gloved hands around his face, and pointing and pulling at his still-green hair. He stared up at his forehead, practically slobbering all over his lips with his tongue. The Joker smacked them together a few times before staring expectantly at Simon.

"Oh, uh. Uh, circus…dude….clown! Right?"

"Bing-_o._ And, ha, you know what they _taught_ us clowns?"

"Mmm, no."

The Joker walked two fingers up Simon's sleeve, before grappling on his shoulder giving him a shove. "Oh, _come _o-_nnn._ Guess. _Simon_, just _guess._"

Simon paused, teeth nibbling on the edge of his glass beer. "Magic?"

"Oooooh, we have a winn-_er_. So, ya wanna see a trick? Do ya?"

He screwed one eye shut and glanced at the Joker out of one eye for a moment, before letting out a curt laugh and nodding his head shakily.

"_HA!_ Bu-_t_ I just…I just wanna know something _teens-yyy_, tiny. Something small. I wanna…I wanna know it."

"Yeah. Shoot."

"I wanna know," his voice was high, treading on a female's pitch. "I just wanna _know_ it. And, you're, oh, you're gonna _die_ when, uh, I ask it. You're just gonna _die_ with laugh-_ter._"

Another swig.

The Joker had him by his shirt before he could blink, ripping him off his feet and in the air, bending backwards. "I. Wanna. _Know._ Where. _MY. KID. IS!!_" His lips were drooling with saliva as he shook Simon furiously, scarred cheeks quivering with his surprisingly deep bellow.

Simon swallowed, half unconscious. He smiled hesitantly, baring his teeth, then closing, then baring them again as he clutched half-heartedly onto the fisted, purple gloves. "He's…he's at…"

Joker waited, seething through his own yellowed canines.

"My mother's. Mom's. He's at _Mom's_."

"Good. _Boy._" He dropped Simon unceremoniously back on the couch. Joker dusted himself off briefly, casting an almost anxious glance at Lee on the floor, then pulled at the cuffs of his sleeves and twirled two bottles in his hands.

"S-so, what's this…_trick?_" Simon inched himself back into the comfort of pillows, propping one leg up on the sofa as he eyed Lee warily.

"I can make," Joker giggled, "can you believe, I can _ma-_ke all these," he waved at the ceiling, "lights disappear, whoosh, like that? Hmm? Do you wanna watch?"

Simon tilted his head back, mouth agape as he somewhat listened to the Joker's insane drawl.

"Well, ya gotta, ya gotta say the _magic_ words. Ya gotta say…ya _gotta_ say, 'Lights ou-_t, _Har_ley_.' Go on. Say, say it."

"Lights out…" he trailed off in a whisper.

"Yes, yes, her _name_, Simon. Simon needs to say…her _name._ You…you say it. _Say it!_"

"Simon says," he giggled to himself, halting in another hiccup. Then, "Lights out, _Har_ley."

In that moment, Lee unfortunately chose to glance up, and horror instantly filled her heart. The Joker had broken off both bottle necks on his knee, leaving them razor sharp and pointed. And as Simon looked up curiously, both shattered bottles flew at his eyes.

Lee pulled away, heart splintering with his blood-curdling screams. She burrowed her head between her knees, curling into herself and away from the Joker's maniacal laughter. _Get out, Lee. Get out now. Before it's too late._

So she did.

Inch by inch, blade by blade of glass in her skin, she inched along the hardwood floor, the door within her reach…

…when two rough hands hoisted her into the air, and into _his_ arms, cradling her like a child.

"Oh, ssssh, shush, _hush, _now. _Daddy's_ here. Ssssh, sh, sh. The big, _bad_ man is…well…hee, oh, ha, he's not…_gone_, ye-_t, _per say. But, I decided, as _generous_ and self-givin-_ga_ as I, hmm, am, I'd let _you_ finish him off."

And Lee fought.

Her fingernails clawed at his face, but he only cackled back at her, batting her hands and feet away as if it were mere child's play. He finally twisted her around, her back to his chest, as they bent, doubled over, one writhing, screeching Simon. He was tearing at his face, hands plastered over where his eyes _should_ have been.

Lee didn't even notice she was still clutching a broken bottle from when she'd fallen. It, too, was broken at the neck. The Joker wrapped both hands over her one, and edged the tip closer to Simon's neck.

"Wanna _carve_ the pump-_kin_, Har_ley?_ Scribble a, uh, big. Fat '_H?'"_

"No, no, _no_," she shook her head. "Let _go_ of me. I don't want to be like you. I _don't…_"

"You have no say in the matter, _sweets._ Now. No, now, look at _him._ Not at me. As pre-tt-_y_ as I may be…Look. At_. Him. _Come 'ere. Shush. Come. _Here._" He was giggling in her ear, scarred cheek pressed to hers, and she hated how it _rubbed_ like a disease against her skin. His paint-less face seemed paler, somehow, than the usual white. And despite all her thoughts of his being handsome, they were erased as he jerked her closer to the whimpering drunk and forced her hand to his neck.

In one quick motion it was over.

"Simon says…_play dead._"

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**a/n: I've gotta admit…I **_**love**_** him in this chapter. as sick and…twisted and…demented as that may be. Hope you guys enjoyed it too. As usual, reviews keep me writing. So keep more coming, or you'll wait longer for chapters! Oh, and I went to King's Island yesterday—saw 4 Jokers running around. Let me say, it was hard to contain my drool. **


	6. Chapter 6

Lee's fingers were glued, immovable, around the steering wheel

**disclaimer: I own…uh…nothing? just the plot, and extra characters and…maybe personalization of Lee. reviews MOST appreciated. keep 'em up guys. make my day.**

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

_jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk_

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Lee's fingers were glued, immovable, around the steering wheel. She hadn't blinked for minutes, and she guessed her temporary lack of sanity was noticeable, the way she was actually eating up the curbs and swerving dotted lines. _Oh look. A pedestrian. How many points will he give me for that one less life?_

The Joker huffed at her side, unfolding his awkward arms before redirecting the steering wheel until they were back on the road.

He let go.

Smoothed back his hair.

Licked at his paint-less lips.

And let out a long, dramatic sigh.

Lee stared long and hard at the road, feeling the car shift again. But she didn't care. Her face was red and tingling with the mixture of dried tears and cuts. Her neck _burned_—probably infected by now. And it hurt simply to think. To remember. To _feel._

Joker popped his lips. "No pain, no _guh-_ain." He leaned back in his seat, awkwardly crossing his bony ankles, one of the other on the dash board, and folding his hands behind his head. He kept a steady eye on Lee.

She ignored him.

He _hated_ being ignored. Always did.

Silence is golden.

Didn't last long.

"So, uh…did you _bribe _the frea-_k_ who gave you your license?"

She bit her lip.

"Or, hmm, didja," he swallowed, "give him…ben-e-fi-_tsss_?"

The car lurched and swerved violently until they were no longer on the road, but a few feet off the shoulder. Thank God they were out of city limits.

Lee flung open the door, and nearly suffocated on her own seat belt in her desperation to get out. But one bony, now ungloved finger, walked its way over the arm rest and pushed the button. How he _loved_ to push her buttons. And just as she flung off the offending strap, his arm shot around her waist and pulled her back in, her head practically in his lap, glaring daggers up at him.

He screwed his eyes up at his forehead, tongue flittering over his lips and his fingers twitching over and around her. "Do ya thin-_k_," he whispered, high-pitched, "our little, erm, _frien­_-d was a, ah, man of many…_colors?_"

Lee could barely hold it back. "Go to hell," she choked out.

"'Cause, ya _see_, swee-_t­ _hear-_t_, apple of Simon's _bruised eye,_" he was giggling uncontrollably now, "I thin-_k_ he wears _red_ really, really, _well. _Matches, hmm, oh, ah, _ha_, the colo-_r_ of his _eyes!_" And he let her go, cackling even harder as her elbow rammed into his gut and she fell out of the car door, stomach dry heaving, sobbing into the dirt ground.

She stayed there for a while, trying to calm down her nerves, and all the while she could feel _him_ staring, watching her, but either with disgust or interest she couldn't tell. All she cared about now was leaving that psychopath and finding Christopher—then leaving _for good._

Lee would make it so that he'd never find them again.

No accidental bumps.

No fateful chance meetings.

Nothing.

To him, they would be dead.

And to her?

_It had never been that easy._

Forgetting had _never_ been that easy.

Lee shoved her face against the hard dirt, sending herself into a violent coughing fit. It took her a moment to pick up the sound of his car door opening and slamming shut, and then that blasted knife slicing out of its holding cell.

"You're not getting' up, are ya, Har_ley_?" Sympathetic. She could almost imagine him frowning. _Almost._

Joker bent down over her, fingers fleeting over her neck. His gloves were gone, somewhere in the floorboard of the car. The touch felt cool, unrecognizable. Lee couldn't help but press her agonizing, overheated body towards his cold skin.

"That's it. You _nee_-duh me. That's _right._ Good pe-_t._" His cackling coos fell soothingly against her ear. She felt too weak to deny him. So she just lay there, as his blade swiped and chucked at the scabs on her neck, ensuring scars there.

He continued talking, grinning madly at the way she held herself up and against the knife, pleading for his relieving touch. He rewarded where reward was due. And in one final moment of utter vulnerability, Lee gave in.

Her palm trapped his hand to her cheek and she twisted her face to breathe him in. Masculine, muggy, but fresh like…a new deck of cards, shuffled with ink, blood, and passion. Lee inhaled it all in. The Joker bent further over, studying her as she took him in like a long-lost addict on probation for centuries. He was frozen, hovering. Waiting. Watching. _Wanting._

So he wasn't laughing this time when he said it, as humanly as possible. "You…need…me."

Lee damned it all to hell and leapt a flying leap of faith. She nodded, meeting his gaze for the first time that night.

Joker frowned. And she could tell, instantly, she should have just kept her head bowed and submitted like a good puppy. He _despised_ this blatant Achilles' heel in his wanted New and Improved Harley.

He knocked her away, disgusted. "_I_ only need you as long as you're wor-_th_ somethin' to me. I _don't_ need you like _this._ This…uh, this _wanting_ thing you have, ah, written all. Over. Your. Patheti-_c_. Face. Definite turn off. So let's just, ha, keep that to oursel-_v­es,_ mmmmkay? You hold up _your_ end. And I'll hold up _mine_, precious. Deal? Shall we, uh, _kiss_ on it?" His tongue laved hungrily at his lips, as though without the paint it made them tastier.

Without hardly waiting for Lee to consent, the Joker lunged on her like some predator on its prey, latching his mouth to hers.

He jerked back, falling off balance seconds later, wrist to his mouth, eye-liner narrowing on her. Joker pulled his arm back to reveal something red and dripping from his lips.

Not paint.

She had bitten him. Hard.

"Well, well, _well_, well, _well, wellllllll_," he sang-sung, grinning insanely as he pulled himself up to his hunched height, and circling Lee.

"Awoke the beas-_t_, did we? _Hmmm_?" Joker giggled, suddenly jumping in the air, kicking at it, before landing and giving Lee a hard boot to the ribs. He continued skipping around her, clapping his hands off-beat in genuine joy. "I _got_ you ba-_ck_. See, no one," he paused to swallow, "wants a wimpy little _girl_. But a fight-_er_? Yea. Everyone just goes _currr_azy over one! They just _want_ one so damn _ba-_duh. They'll do _anything_ to get their filthy, unworth-_y_ hands on one. _Anything_, Har_ley._"

Lee _hated_ him. She just wanted him to self-explode from all his damn, effing ego.

She smiled.

Maybe a little _help_ in that wouldn't hurt.

"That's just _righ-_t, pe-_t._ _Smile._ 'Cause no one will _ever_ fight for _you._ Minx, you can be-_t_ on that. And me? Well, _I_, Joker, do take this _lovely_ little, uh, relationship of ours, hmm, for _granted._ 'Cause, _see_, I don't have to do _anything_ for something I've _always had._"

And he _was_ right.

Sick, Lee _knew_ he was damn right.

But then, the pain came.

And when it did, she couldn't contain her screams.

"Ssssshhh, _shush, _sshhhhhhhh, _damnit!_" He was suddenly straddling her, shaking her shoulders violently. "You want _someone _to come crashing our little par-_t­_-y? Ya know, I can't, I just _can't_ sometimes, can't, _can't_ control my little, iddy biddy, ah, _temp-_er p-rob-_lem_, Harley, _Har_ley. So _shush _up before."

"It…_hurts!_" she screeched, fingers clawing and digging into her abdomen.

"Naw. But it _will_ if you _don't_—"

"Excuse me!"

Both of them froze—or, rather, the Joker hunched down further into himself, and Lee attempted to control her shaking. Neither had noticed the cab pull up in front of their car—engine still running with lights on and her door open.

"You guys need some help?" He was a not-so-shabby-looking taxi driver, beard stubble flocking his chin, with a chiseled face. Maybe Lee's age, maybe a little older. But it was all she could see before the Joker hauled her up in his arms, blocking her view of the offender. He stared down at her with mock concern.

"My, ah, _wife_ needs medical attention. We…had an accident."

The young man climbed out of his car, staring between the odd couple and the car without a scratch on it. "Your car looks—"

"Get her to a _hospital_. Nearest one. _Now._" Joker's growl was enough to make the driver forget the lies in his words, as he came over and helped carry Lee to the backseat of the cab.

But before the door closed, she found herself already trying to get out. "Christopher," she squeaked.

Joker paced around the car and pulled open the door where her head was closest. He gripped the sides of her head in his freezing hands, sliding in, and shutting the door, muttering lowly. "_Topher_ will be _jus-_t fine with me."

"No. You _can't._" She winced as another wave of pain settled in. Like her internal organs were self-destructing in her stress. "He's—"

"_Mine._"

"_No! _You don't get it. I'm trying to tell—"

"Aww, sweets, don't _worry._ I'll, uh, round us _all_ up for one…big…_happy_ fam-i-_ly_. Now, _hush._ All this, um, talking can't be, ha, good for the _min-_duh, if ya know what I mean." He nodded at her solemnly, before pulling away.

He dropped her head unceremoniously on the seat.

He opened the door.

Shoved a few stolen bills into the hands of the cab driver.

Lee tried desperately to prop herself up, before giving up and just kicking the door open. "You—you're not coming?"

The Joker laughed in her face. "_Ha! _Hee, oh, _whoa, ho, har, _Har_ley. _That was a _good_ one."

She just glared at him, hugging her middle desperately.

"Now, what would an _innocent _like _me_ do at a hospital? I, uh, you _forge-_t that I recently, um, _played_ with Gotham's hospital. And uh, they just, well, they make me _nervous._ White walls, antiseptic, and such. It's too much! I can't _handle_ it!" he giggled.

"Go to hell."

"Never without you,_ sweets._"

And he was gone.

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**a/n: me again. hope you enjoyed it. I promise, the son's coming into the picture soon. and I'm throwin' in more characters as well. spice it up a bit. oh, and I'll be leaving for a bit soon..sooooooo chapters may not flow as quickly, but I promise, they'll be written. so to those of you who beg for quick updates lol…don't give up on me ******** review while I'm away. and I promise, you will be rewarded ;-D**


	7. Chapter 7

It was the final straw

**disclaimer: you know the drill. only own the plot, maybe Lee's characterization, and anybody else. but definitely **_**not**_** the Joker I wish. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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It was the final straw.

Lee decided if she was _ever_ going to be put in another hospital, _he_ was going to be there with her—more than likely in the bed next to hers, plastered up with breathing tubes and needles, nearing his final surgery that she'd make sure he would _never_ come out of.

It had taken hours for them to remove every little scrap piece of glass from her skin, but that hadn't been the real problem.

The Joker's favorite kicking block had taken its toll.

Six cracked ribs.

One broken, and puncturing her left lung.

Surgery had fixed it, but the scars would always be there. And oddly enough, even her incision scars resembled a crooked _J_.

Absolutely, fan-effing-tastic.

The door to her secluded hospital room swiveled open. Lee held her breath.

Then let it out in a string of curses when she realized it wasn't _him._

She folded her arms as best she could despite the pain in her abdomen and restricting tubes in her arms. Damn…she _hated_ needles. Lee tried to focus her swirling gaze on the complete stranger as he waltzed in, a clean blanket stuffed under one arm and a tray of disgusting hospital food in the other.

"Who the hell are _you_?" Lee demanded. She half-eyed the red, emergency nurse button at her bedside, debating whether she could press it before he tried to dislodge her internal organs, or, whatever it was this dude-without-a-life wanted.

"What? You don't remember me?" He feigned hurt, dropping the blanket to twist his hand where his heart was. "Stab, twist, and _turn_, why don't you?"

"No. I'd just pull it out and repeat."

She glared.

He grinned back.

Lee coughed. "No. But really. Unless you have some brain tumor and are about to drop in about five seconds, are missing from the schizophrenic ward, or suffer from short-term memory loss, I suggest you get your ass out of my room."

The guy narrowed his eyes but left that damn smile plastered all over his face. What was it with these _people_ and their effing _happiness_?

"Is that any way to thank your knight in shining armor?"

"Loser in aluminum foil's more like it." Lee paused, biting her lip and fighting off a sudden onslaught of hunger. He balanced the tray away from her, practically fanning the smell in her face but keeping out of reach. Settling down in a chair next to her bed, his fingers picked at a French fry before shoving it in his unstoppable mouth.

He waited. Like he knew she had more to say. Like he knew she'd cave.

And she did.

"So you're the cab driver?"

"Mmpf pr-fem sho-noferrrrr…" He must've crammed ten more fries into his mouth.

"Great. In English, this time?"

He cleared his throat, licking at his salty fingers. "I, uh, prefer _chauffer._ But, ya know, whatever turns you on."

Lee's jaw nearly dropped. "That's it." Her arm shot across the bed and jammed into the button. She swirled back around to glare defiantly at the taxi man. He just smiled, poking at a few more of _her_ fries.

"You wanna wipe that smile off your face?"

"Funny. You seemed to enjoy _his_ smile." He hadn't meant to sound so jealous, but it seeped out anyway. And he was still grinning. Couldn't be so serious.

But her heart stopped. "Don't. Talk. About. _Him._"

"He came by." There was a loud _hiss_ as he popped the top off a Dr. Pepper and gulped down a few sips.

"I said _don't_—what?"

Overly-Obnoxious-Pain-In-My-Arse man swallowed loudly. "I _said,_ he came by." And he shoved the can against his mouth again, eyes trained on some spot to her left. Her heart monitor. It was beeping incredibly loud, and incredibly fast now, betraying her well-hidden emotions.

Lee's fingers fisted at the stiff, white, smelling sheets. She waited.

The guy shrugged. He stood up, placing the tray on a table, still out of her reach, and stretched. Suddenly, he made a move to exit the room until Lee's growl stopped him.

"What, a man of few effing words, now?"

This idiot was undeterred as he turned and flashed her _another_ smile. "Naw. You told me to get my ass out of the room, so I'm dragging it out now. My patient needs her beauty sleep, after all."

Lee sucked in a sharp breath, calculated the outcome of kicking his ass or waiting for the nurse to do it, and exhaled loudly. "Get back in here," she snapped. She'd still have a few minutes of time before someone took their time waltzing in.

He hesitated for a minute, expression guarded, before throwing it all out the window. "What the hell. I got time, right?"

"Idunno. _Do_ you?"

One more stupid smile and she'd bite his face off. "Of course. For you? _Anything._"

"So, uh. Does taxi driver from hell have a name?"

"Do you usually get what you want by _insulting_ the crap outta someone?"

Lee paused, eyes softening. "No." _Touché. _

He watched her for a few more minutes, before nodding and settling back into his throne. "Jeremy Barlow."

"I'm—"

"You don't have to tell me. No obligations." His mood had changed suddenly, totally hands-off. And it pulled her further in.

"Lee."

Jeremy nodded. "Just Lee?"

"For now."

"Well, Just Lee, you hungry?"

She hadn't eaten for more than two days. But the more she eyed the food in that tray, she was slowly losing her appetite. "No."

"Liar, liar."

Right on cue, her stomach let out a thunder of growling. Embarrassed, Lee's cheeks burst up in rosy flames.

_Damn traitor. _

Jeremy passed over the tray before drawing himself up into the chair, feet propped up on her bed and blanket strewn across them. She'd hardly noticed it was pitch black outside.

So she was nearly afraid to ask. "What time is it?"

"Eh. I think you woke up around 3:15? But I lost count."

Lee halted mid-chew, eyeing him with shock, surprise, and scrutiny. "Don't you have a wife to go home to?"

Jeremy dramatically fanned his face. "I think I may faint… Just Lee is _interested!_"

"Kudos for the stalker." She rolled her eyes sarcastically, suddenly not _caring_ that there was a complete stranger—no, Jeremy—in her room. She was actually, almost, sort of, _glad_.

Lee choked back something that _looked_ like meshed corn, but decided not to question her offered sustenance. Certainly didn't smell like cobs.

"So, um. You said he came?"

"Yeah. Swung by around midnight. Weird lil' bugger. Well, I guess he's not exactly little, is he? Point is, dude shows up, looks like his face has been painted by a damn clown—those things scare the shit out of me, by the way, so that's gotta prove how madly infatuated I am with you—and the freak paces the hall all fidgety and what not." Jeremy paused for breath, glancing over his shoulder out the window, like the big bad clown man would come prancing through the window.

"He's not a freak." Quiet. But not very defensive.

"Sure, sure." Jeremy waved his hand unconcerned. "He's sure got you trained, huh?"

Lee bowed her head, suddenly not very hungry. She nudged the tray away, and Jeremy swiped it up and out of sight. He continued.

"Anyway, Circus Boy grabs some nurse by her collar and shoves her up against the wall. Asks for Harley—I'm guessing you—so I butt in all natural and beat the hell out of the guy. Save the day."

Lee quirked a brow smoothly.

"What? I'm a regular Superman, is all."

She couldn't fight off the smile that time.

"Alright, so you caught me. Yeah, didn't kick his ass, 'cause I knew his girl would probably kick _mine_ for it." Lee winced at his casual term of the Joker's possession, like fingernails grating down a chalkboard. But she fought it off, tuning back in. "Anyway. I kinda called him on the spot and he turns on me like I'm the spawn of Satan or whatever. Must've recognized me. So he throws _me_ up against the wall. And I told him which room you were in—long story short of a death threat.

"Dude puts me down. Stalks over to the door, and just…stands there, all weird-like, ya know? I mean, come on, don't give me that look, I _know_ you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. He's all hunched over, rocking back and forth, before he just…disappears away. Literally. Dude was there one second, and the next, BAM!_" _Lee flinched. "He's gone."

Jeremy sighed a long sigh, before taking another chug at Lee's Dr. Pepper.

She fought back the tears that wanted to come so badly. "So he didn't…he didn't say _anything_ about coming back? Didn't come in?"

Jeremy shook his head. "Naw. I mean, I thought at first he'd made a killer mad dash for your room. So I ran in, but you were the only one here. Like I said. Freak."

"But you stayed?" She said it more like a fact, a statement, than a question. He nodded.

"No one should be left alone. _Especially_ a gorgeous thing like you. Hitched to a thing like _that_. Who just leaves without…well, you know the story."

Lee smiled half-heartedly.

So the Joker did care. He'd come, after all.

He just didn't care _enough._

So how was it that a total stranger, this Jeremy guy, of a few hours, could _stay_, and a high school sweetheart, once-upon-a-time-husband, _leave_ her here?

What a screwed up world.

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**a/n: wow. I just **_**love**_** the chemistry there! sorry, sorry, I know. no Joker in that one, but I promise, he's coming up, and he's bringing a spade to dig up that shady past between him and his lovely Harley. if you've made it this far with me, thanks for hanging in. and thanks for all the reviews! keep them COMING! they fuel my inspiration. **


	8. Chapter 8

Detention

**disclaimer: I do this every stinkin time. so u know what it means. and for a warning, majority of this chapter is in Lee's POV. imma start doing it a little in each chapter, so sorry this may be a little short. it's pulling in their history, as promised. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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_Detention._

_Home of the psychopathic, soon-to-be-on-America's-Most-Wanted, hardcore, class-skipping, illegal-doping high-schoolers. _

_And then there was me._

_They say some people's lives are destined to cross paths. _

_But mine and his? Must've happened due to some weird pull from the Apocalypse. Like, I swear, the planets were aligned, tides were swamping villages, and children were popping out like no other. _

_Like I said. _

_Fate has a weird way of twisting a mouth into a smile. _

_Did I not say that? _

_Oh. _

_Well…_

_Sucky lives have a funny way of turning around. _

_And dragging you down to hell in the process._

_I sat there…half contemplating just up and leaving. I mean the teacher was just sitting there anyway, practically asleep while everyone else dealt their deals and went on with life, only, they were contained in this one solitary room with allllllll the other bad people. _

_And poor, innocent, innocent me. _

_A victim._

_Of destiny._

_I was sitting nearly in the very back of the room, one seat away from the corner. Pressed up against the wall. Head bowed. Hands fiddling behind and around the back of my seat. But it must've been some sort of Idiot Sign Language because that's when _he_ came into the picture. _

_Something tugged on my ponytail. _

_I ignored it._

_Accidents happen, right? _

_But then, that something decided to completely uproot my head. _

"_Cut it out!" I hissed over my shoulder. _

_There was a low chuckle. "Ya sure? I mean, I've got the tools for it, but it's just so _pretty_." _

_Oh. My. God. _

_I gripped the edge of my seat and scooted it up a foot. Psychotic, screwed up somebody's mother. _

"_Aw, playin' hard to get?" he cooed, before wrapping the edges of his feet under and around the legs of my chair, dragging me back to him. I tried scooting again, but the damn thing wouldn't budge. _

_Figures. _

"_Listen, baby. How about you and me—"_

"_How about _this_?" I turned around, flipped him the bird, then swiveled back around, relocking my hands behind the chair. I'd only gotten a glance. _

_But it was enough. _

_Okay, so maybe I should have been nicer. He was some good eye candy, I'll let out that much. He seemed tall, but not the gangly type. More of…a built torso with a clean-shaven face, small sideburns falling down past his ears. And his hair—my God, had that boy ever heard of hygiene? _

_I think it was his eyes and chiseled face that had me. At first sight, as they say. _

_But I wasn't that far in yet. _

_He coughed. "Want to see a magic trick?" Normal, cackle-less voice. It was pleasant on my ears, like a symphony or something. Deep, soothing, controlling…_

"_No." _

"_Really? Cause I learned this _really_ good one the other night. And, it's like, a reverse disappearing act. You just…"_

_Click! _

_I frowned. There was something cold at my wrists. _

"_What the…?" _

"_And, Presto!" _

_I twisted awkwardly in my seat, arms burning from the restraint. _

_Great. _

_Just. Great. _

_The damn idiot had handcuffed my hands to his desk. _

_I glared up at him, working up a quick demise for this sucker. Because, boy, when my boyfriend found out, let's just say, he'd want to sleep with one eye open. _

_Oh wait. _

_I didn't _have_ a boyfriend. _

_Silly Lee. _

_But _he_ didn't know that. _

"_See, I _told_ you it was a great trick. Now you can't go disappearing on me." _

"_Unlock it." _

_He just stared at me. This moron whom I'd never seen my entire life—and I'd begun wondering if he even really went to my school—was just staring. Taking me in, I guess. But that didn't require staring. More like a blink, and he could be done. Because, trust me, there wasn't much. _

"_Unlock it, or I'll scream." _

"_Is my captive not pleased?" _

"_You know damn well—"_

_He clucked his tongue. _

_I huffed. "_Please _unlock it?" _

_This time he winked at me, putting one long finger to his lips. _

"_The _hell_ you won't unlock it! I swear, if you don't—"_

"_MISS QUINTZEL!!" _

"_Shit." I squeaked. I mean, I actually squeaked. And about peed myself. "Y-yes, sir?" _

"_Talking is NOT permitted in my detention, is that understood?!" _

"_Yes sir." _

_His Kingship behind me was toying with my cuffs, and I could feel my arms shake with his quiet laughter. He could be sure he'd never live to have children in a few more minutes. _

"_Good. Then surely, with all your conversationalist skills needing to be tamed—" oh the freak behind me got a kick out of that one, "—you wouldn't mind revisiting me in a few more morning sessions?" _

_I sighed. "No, sir." _

"_Good. Eight a.m. sharp, tomorrow." _

_There was a nudge and a pull behind me as I squared my shoulders while Initiative Boy behind me leaned over my shoulder. "Looks like you and I have a date in the morning." _

"_Don't count on it." _

"_Should I save the first kiss for our second? Or maybe just skip right to the proposal…"_

_I ignored as he rambled. But it was hard to. His fingers had taken to lightly stroking my wrists, then up and down my arm. Finally, with nearly one minute left to go before class, his hand pushed and knotted with mine, fingers twining. _

"_I'm gonna unlock it now…but that doesn't mean I'm letting go." _

_And he did. _

_The bell rang. _

_I jerked myself out of that chair and flew out of the room. _

_And could feel his eyes on me with every step down the hall. _

_You wanna know something sick?_

_Ten minutes of being metallically tethered to that freak without a name…_

_And I already had Stockholm Syndrome._

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"Mmmf-v bimmn ssss ellleam, hmm?"

Lee cracked her eyes open to a sickly comforting face.

That was once again stuffed with food.

God, did this guy _ever_ quit eating? It's like he lived for food.

"What?"

He swallowed, grinning. "I said, must've been some dream, huh?"

Lee ignored him, waiting for him to pass _her_ breakfast, half of which was dripping out of his mouth and in his stomach no doubt. But he kept bantering on.

"I mean, _seriously_, who is this 'Josh' kid, anyway?" Pause. "Is it _him_?" Another pause, and the temperature dropped ten million degrees. "Did he do something to you?"

Lee screwed her eyes shut, fighting back last night—or this morning's—food. The only name that had caused her heart to twist and melt and burn in summersaults of agony.

Josh Kerit.

May that name rest in pieces with the heart he'd broken.

Because to her? He sure as hell didn't exist anymore.

He may as well have been dead.

_Yeah, Lee. You keep telling yourself that. You shitty liar. _

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**a/n: gotta love that Joker. I mean seriously, can you not imagine him being an undiscovered high school hottie? really. come on people. use your imagination! anyway. you know what to do. press that little review button and REVIEW! seriously. I know there are people out there who read this and don't. so please do. they encourage and keep me writing. oh, and…ducks exploding glares of doom I'm, uh, leaving again. I'll be back Friday, with a fresh chapter, I promise. but until then, you can mull over actually reviewing more I'm a review whore. what can I say? **


	9. Chapter 9

Lee was getting used to Jeremy

**disclaimer: don't don't don't. but Jer-Bear's mine, as is any other character, and the personality of Lee. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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Lee was getting used to Jeremy.

_Too_ used to him.

He'd made an annoying habit of _living_ in her hospital room. Eating her food, sleeping with _her_ extra pillows and blankets, and he'd taken it upon himself to become her official walking buddy. She'd insisted she could make it on her own.

"No one wants to be alone," he calmly argued, that crooked grin slammed into place. "So, really, I know you're probably just trying to drop the most obvious in the hints—you know, the ones you girls give. Where no means yes, and yes means no. But don't worry," he winked. "I _got_ ya. You know, picked up your frequency and what not." Jeremy tapped his head, before taking her arm and guiding her out of the room.

But even the nurses knew better.

One day, when he'd—thank God—left to go take a shower, the nurse on call had bustled in to change her IV bag.

"Two more days, then you're home free, Miss Lee!"

"Yea. Great." Except she didn't _want_ to go back…home.

Lee shuddered. There would be no way to keep _him_ out. No police, no hospitals, nothing. Hell, he'd probably already made himself at home with his butt-ugly dog. She could see him now, rummaging through her fridge, face wincing at every low calorie 'piece of shit' he'd find, then going through her makeup, perhaps taking a turn through her extra bills in the cookie jar.

Damn men and their ignorance for privacy.

_Speaking of which…_

"The Jer Bear has returned!" he proclaimed loudly, marching into the room, this time, with magazines, bags of chocolate, and one single red rose. He dumped everything unceremoniously on her lap, aside from the rose, which was twirled in the air, tossed behind his back, and then…gone?

Lee just stared at him.

Jeremy smiled coaxingly. "You have to say the magic words."

"I _hate_ magic tricks," she spat, twisting her head away to pick at the scars lined along her arms. But he just pressed on, crossing to the opposite side of her bed and kneeling down on the floor.

"Oh, come _on._ Please? For me? C'mon, I stayed up late learning this one."

"You've been _here_ every freaking night, and I didn't see—"

"I'll shut up, if you just say 'Kazaam.'"

But Lee knew better. She was half afraid his jaw would explode once the words left his mouth, and half afraid he _would_ just stop talking. She swallowed her fear and complied.

"No, no, no, I'm not ready yet. Hold on."

His hand swept forward, his face suddenly serious. The back of his fingers lightly traced along her temple, a finger catching in her hair. Her eyes slid closed unwillingly, and try as she could, she wasn't able to help leaning into his touch. It was some sick magnetic pull she had toward this pest. But it was there. And it was growing stronger.

Lee knocked his hand away, grinding her teeth together. "That the trick?"

Jeremy chuckled lightly. "Had to put you in the mood."

Her brows rose in synchronization as she took in this hormonally off-balanced piece of retardation. Jeremy's hand came back again, but this time tucking behind her ear then pulling out a little paper, cut-out heart. He held it palm-up as he dropped a silk sheet over it. He waved his hands over it sporadically.

"'Kay. _Now_ you say it."

Lee sighed. "Kazaam."

Jeremy stood up as he ripped the tiny cloth up and away. But frowned. The stem was gone, and his hand was overflowing with crushed petals. Lee's eyes softened. One by one, each swirl of velvet floated down to her lap, coating her in a crimson blanket.

She looked up. "Thanks."

"That's not how it goes, though." His face was all mangled and twisted into a frown, so against his nature. Disappointment pooled in his eyes.

"No really. It was…great."

"Promise I'll work out the kinks next time." He paused, eyes lighting up. "Wanna see another…?"

"_No._"

"Seriously, I can make—"

A loud buzzing sound erupted from the room, followed by some weird carnival music. "A phone ring?" she finished for Jeremy.

He coughed before flopping himself into his cushioned throne. They both sat in silence, aside from the circus tune. Jeremy narrowed his eyes at Lee, who seemed to be at a loss. "You gonna get that?"

"I don't _have_ a cell phone. And besides…" She jerked her arms up, restricted with IV's and bandages.

Jeremy fished around in her duffel bag—she'd given him the key at some point to her house so he could pick up some of her things. "It would appear otherwise."

"Huh?"

He tossed the tiny black mobile onto her lap. It kept buzzing. It kept ringing.

And she kept staring, jaw unhinged and eyes wide. "No, I swear…I don't…"

Jeremy sighed agitatedly. "Fine. _I'll_ answer it. Chicken shit." He flipped open the cell and shoved it against his ear.

But despite his best interests in muffling the phone, she couldn't drown out that merciless laughter on the other end.

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_My forehead slammed lazily against the cafeteria table. _

_Or—it _would_ have slammed, if it weren't for the cold hand that caught it, an ice cube's version of a make-shift pillow. _

_I groaned, shoving his hand aside before allowing my head to properly beat the crap out of itself on the table. Uninterrupted. "What do you want?" _

"_You have something of mine." _

"_Beg to differ." _

_Pause. "Check your right pocket." I glanced up at him. His food tray was empty save for a package of Laughy-Taffy's and a bottle of Sunny D. _

"_You know. That's just stupid." _

_The guy grinned back at me, hunching down in his seat as if I were about to share the secret to how many effing licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop Sucker. _

"_They can't bottle sunshine." I nodded towards his drink. _

"_Lee?" _

"_Yea?" Wait. How'd the freak know my name? _

_His hand clapped noisily against his pants pocket. _

"_Sorry." I was apologizing?? To _him_?! What the hell? My hand slapped against my pocket once. Didn't feel like anything was in there. So my fingers dug in, and withdrew a small, glistening card. _

_A Joker card. _

"_Mine." Childish, selfish, as if _I_ were the one who had molested my own pocket to hide his precious tree-killing cargo. _

_I flicked it at him. "Another trick?" _

"_Yup." _

"_Can you grow up?" I glanced down at my plateful of oozing meatballs and this glop of strings which, I'm guessing, was supposed to resemble spaghetti—more like hairball on steroids. "I mean, _seriously_, be serious for a minute or two." _

_The dude frowned, before folding his arms and hunching over even more, eyes narrowed to perfect scrutiny. His tongue flicked out like a snake, then back in as his awkward gaze took me in. But even hunched over, he was _still_ bigger than me. _

_That serpent's arrow shot out again, then back. "What, do I have food on my mouth?" I panicked, wiping my mouth on my sleeve, patting it down until I was sure absolutely nothing was there. He just continued to sit there and stare. "What. Are. You. Doing?" _

_His frown sagged even more, but his lips could hardly hold back the smile. "I'm being serious." _

"_Sure you are." _

"_Sure I am." _

"_Okay, nameless bipolar patient, tell me something sad then. No jokes. Tell me something _real._" _

_And he did. Pitiful, masochistic, envious, joy-murdering kidnapper. "I'm a mistake." _

_Wasn't expecting _that._ So I chose to stare down at my "food", poking at it with a fork. He just watched. He inhaled sharply, then let it out in more depressing words. _

"_I killed my mother." _

_What?! He must've seen the shock, and the way my hands suddenly dropped the fork on the floor in a loud clutter of metal. _

"_Childbirth," he explained. Oh. Well. That was better…right? _

_Wrong. _

"_My father killed himself over it." _

_I could barely breathe. Every bad thought I'd had over this poor, poor freakishly awkward stranger seemed to erase…well almost. But still. My heart actually ached for him. _

_He stretched his arms for a moment, closer to me, before intertwining his fingers and spreading his knees, legs crossed at the ankles. "And my brother wishes I were dead." _

_I coughed. "Younger?" _

"_Older." _

"_Oh." _

"_Yeah." _

"_Oh." Way to repeat, moron. Come on. Work up words. An apology, for a start, would be nice. "Sorry." _

_He shrugged nonchalantly. _

"_No, really. I'm sorry for bringing it up." _

"_You're not. But okay." _

_He had me. I finally shoved my plate back onto its evil tray of doom, before sliding out of my seat and dumping the poison into the trash. I didn't realize how close he was to me, until I whirled around and he was _right_ there. Like, our mouths might as well have been fused together. Hmm…wonder if he was a good kisser…_

_We walked out, like that, together, shoulders practically touching with every step. And it's like the entire lunchroom had hushed to watch. The freak and the social pariah, two peas in a pod. How. Effing. Cute. _

"_You, uh, have a name?" he asked, head bent, staring at _my_ feet. He was still frowning. It seemed unnatural, but I didn't comment on it. _

"_Lee Quintzel." _

"_Sounds like you're a pretzel or…something." _

"_Yeah. Just—don't give me shit about it, okay?" _

"_Josh Kerit." _

"_Huh?" _

"_My name. Josh Kerit." _

_Duh. Anyone up in that head of yours, Lee? _

"_Well. It's nice to meet you, Josh." And I meant it. _

"_I meant what I said earlier." He pulled those mangled handcuffs from his pocket, before turning a sharp corner and disappearing. _

_I wracked my brain before a thrill of terror and excitement rippled at my heart. _

'_**I'm gonna unlock it now…**_**but that doesn't mean I'm letting go.**_**'**_

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"Phone's for, uh, you."

But Jeremy just kept the phone cradled at his ear, squeezing it to death.

Lee groaned. Crap. _Double_ crap. And here she'd thought that maybe, just _maybe_ she could live without him. And he could do the same. But…maybe not.

She considered actually vacating the bed to rip the phone from him, but in the next second he practically threw it at her and left the room.

Shit.

Lee shakily pulled the phone up—he was already babbling, brinking between a high-trained pitch, and dropping every few seconds to a growl, then back up.

"—_something of _mine_, you have, uh, something of MINE. Something, ah, hah, of mine, you have it. _You_ have it. You, something of mine, have. Have it. I want it. Give it back. Give my something _ba-_ck. I want it. I do. Ha, you have, hmmm, someone of mine. And, uh, I want her back. Back. Ba-_ck. _I want—"_

"Josh?"

Dead silence.

"Josh, where are you?"

There was a small giggle. "_I may-ay jus-_t _have to, um, s-_teal_ you if you, hmmm, don't, ge-_t_ the hell…bet-_ter."

Lee's finger itched toward the red, End Call button.

"_Lee-ee, oh, Har_ley?"

She glared at Jeremy's vacant chair, wishing he'd own up to just pop back in, take that damn phone out of her hand, and destroy it. But, she was on her own. As ever. "Yes, _Josh_?"

"_If you don't tell ol' Barlow bum there to man it down, there'll be, uh, hell to, ha, p-_ay._ 'Cause I want her. I want…I wan-_t_, uh, my girl." _

Lee froze. Her breath hitched audibly, and there was a low, mirthless chuckle on the other end. "What?" She swallowed back the rising bile—revisiting the already-regurgitated hospital food would _not_ be so pleasant right now.

"_I wan-_tuh_…I want her. I want…my, ah, _Har_ley. Now._"

Her muscles seized up then released in some instinctive release. "Come and get her then," she challenged.

"_Oooooh. But—uh, you're, ya see, a bit…hmm, tie-_duh _up, hah, at the moment. What with, hm, tubes and stalker-_ish _beached whales…whatnot. How 'bout you, uh, even up the p-_laying_ ground a bi-_t_? Come out, come ou-_t_ wherever Lee is."_

"I can't." _I won't. _Pause. Then that blasted heart again: _you will._

"_We'll see-ee-eee. Oh, and ha! Sweetie pie-eye-_eye_? Our, hee, son sends his lo-_ve."

The line went dead.

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**a/n: I am backkkkk! Yesh. I have discovered that I do kinda have a life. Especially with college coming up, it's a little…hmm, hectic. I mean, who ever heard of college camp?? (weirded out). and, imagine my surprise when I return to like…28936986 reviews! or…I wish it was that much. point being, you guys are amazing! and I thank those readers who manned up to not reviewing ;-D seriously. they keep me going. but, I'm pretty much being held by gunpoint by our lovely Mr. Kerit (I wish). and he demands I write more for you all. so breath imma do it. and for those of you wondering, I'm not really sure where I plucked this story from my head…one of those daydreaming moments, I guess. and awesome music. fav. inspiring song currently: Wish You Were by Kate Voegele. in my opinion, it's from Lee's point of view… check it, and I'll get back to you soon with another chappie! so, REVIEW! dagon you lovely people. **


	10. Chapter 10

"You have to get out of here

**disclaimer: hey ya'll. I'm back…sorta. do not own Joker, but I'm on the verge of stealing him for myself own plot, characterization, and OCs. please R&R. or imma hunt you down. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"You have to get out of here. _Now._" Lee's fingers were fumbling blindly with her duffel bag, having just donned clean clothes that had that addicting suffocation of laundry detergent.

Wait.

That wasn't _her_ detergent.

"Did you do my _laundry_?" she questioned, baffled. Flinging the bag over her shoulder, she turned to glare at Jeremy who, surprise, surprise, had his face stuffed with a spoonful of applesauce.

He shrugged, muttering over a mouthful of gooey mush. "I mean, it's not like I'm lacking the brain cells for it. C'mon, gimme some credit here, Lee-Lee." Sick, _sick_ idea of a pet name.

And she already had plenty of those from _him._

Josh Kerit had called at least three other times—each on a different number—before Lee finally took the hint and quit answering. But that didn't keep her heart from halting then racing each time that blasted phone exploded into its clown-show.

"Well, _Jer_, I hate to hit and run…but I _really_ need you out of here. Like. You've got to leave me alone. Now. So just…go, okay?"

He quirked one brow at her, folding his arms and settling into her presence, blocking the door. Like a stubborn mass of fat rock. "Not goin' _anywhere_ until you tell me why. You'd have to knock me unconscious to get me to budge. I mean, call in the SWAT team or the entire Coast Guard, but you won't have no such luck. Not while I'm—"

She elbowed him in the gut.

He sputtered. "—I'm…I'm…I mean, _ouch_, girl. Seriously. _Ow._"

"Seriously? If you don't _seriously_ get your ass out of my way, I'm going to ensure a long lifetime of broken furniture in your closet down there, if you catch my drift."

Jeremy's eyes rounded, and he gladly swept out of her way. "Where's the fire?"

"There isn't one…_yet._"

"Huh?!"

She ignored him, practically jogging down the white-walled halls and out into the street. Jeremy kept up though, and when they were well out of sight of the hospital, he caught her by her arm.

"Will you _please_ shove whatever curiosity you have about me and this whole screwed up thing back down your throat? Save us both a bunch of agony."

"Curiosity ain't killin' this cat," he argued, face falling, suddenly grave. "Is it that bad? Things between you two?"

Lee bit back a string-full of curses. "No, of course not. Why?" She glanced over her shoulder at him, before racing across the street and taking a sharp turn around a corner. But he was faster—planting himself directly in her path. He caught her roughly by her arms, forcing her chin up to look him in the eyes.

"Does he hurt you?"

Anger boiled up in her heart. _Too close. Too close. Too close for comfort._ "No."

But he could hear the lies in her tone, even as her eyes remained solid on his, chin jutting out in defiance.

"Good. Now, try again, this time the _truth_, Lee."

Her eyes hardened. "_No._"

His strength wavered for a moment, grip unconsciously tightening. "That _bastard._"

Lee jerked away from him, body shaking with her efforts as he finally released his faded hold. "Shut the hell up."

Jeremy's gaze had shifted up and away for a moment, zoning out as if he were imagining fifty thousand ways to murder Josh. But then he honed his attention back in on the quivering girl before him, suddenly angrier than he'd been for a long time. His fists clenched. Muscles locked. Blood pounded. Heart broke.

"_Why_ the hell not? I mean, you practically shut down every ounce of reality with your stupid spoonfuls of _love_," he spat. "You defend the psychotic son of a bitch every chance you get, and yet he does shit like this," he waved his hand at her, scars still visible on her arms, "to you. I don't get how or why you put up with it, but it's like you're his effing pet. And don't you _dare_ look at me like that. You know what I'm saying is totally real, the truth. You're just too chicken shit to either admit it, or to actually let someone other than _him_ in. But I've got news for you. You stay trained and all tame for him, he'll _put you down_ eventually. Get bored. He'll find a new dog to push around, mark my words. And when that happens, you'll be all effing alone. So, you can forget about looking for _me_ when that shit goes down. 'Cause I won't be there."

Lee blinked back the tears, taking another step back away from him, cradling her bag and hugging it to her chest like it was all she had left in the world. "Jer—"

"Don't '_Jer'_ me. Go '_Josh'_ him. 'Cause I am sick as _hell_ being joshed around by you. I saw you and you know what? I felt _sorry_ for you. This poor girl's stuck in a hospital, totally by herself, and that jackass of a boyfriend, husband—whatever—doesn't even care enough to be there for her. So maybe, I thought, I'd step in. And _maybe_ you'd let go of him for me." He laughed hotly, bitterness laced in his breath. "I was wrong as hell about you, Lee. So, I'm still _sorry._ _Sorry_ that you only want to fall back on shit like him when things get tough. _Sorry_ that you shut the world out without a thought or care to those who, maybe, _just might_, care back. And _sorry_ that I'm such a pain in the ass to your life. So, ya know what? I'm bowing out now. I'm _done._ I've tried for weeks. But…I'm through."

There was something about the way he sounded so nonchalant that burned Lee to the core. The way he threw his hands up in the air, whirled around and trudged away, like he was ridding himself of some anchorage. Her eyes swelled up, nose burning. But she forced herself to stay rooted to the ground, until Jeremy rounded a corner, out of site, out of mind, but hardly out of heart.

She waited.

The used air ached in her lungs.

But she waited.

_Maybe…maybe he'll come back._

A minute, two minutes, thirty, an hour—she didn't know. All she knew was that Jeremy Barlow was _not_ re-entering into her life.

And as a hand grabbed her from the shadows, slammed her against the wall, and pressed firmly against the fresh scar on her abdomen, Lee couldn't help but cry. Even when her attacker cooed above her with alternating shushes and reigned laughter, all she could see was Jeremy walking away. _Especially_ when one icy hand roughly pulled her hair aside to reveal her branded neck, all she could think about was how she wasn't _his._

Jeremy's.

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_Do you ever have those nights where you're head has _just_ hit the pillow, you're fully prepared to go into hibernation for the next century or so, and some idiot decides one blink of sleep is enough and it's time to wake up? _

_Well, I did. _

_I had a lot of them. _

_Thanks to my new alarm clock. _

_In the form of a five-foot, eleven inches addiction. _

_And by addiction, I don't mean like coffee, or drugs, or whatever. Not physical. Well I mean, maybe it was a little physical. I _did_ crave his touch. But…I mean…_

_I mean, like _air.

_On the verge of reality and dreamland, I barely heard the rocks plunking at my window like some silly metronome keeping beat with my sore heart. So I ignored the stupid ticking, burrowing my head under the pillow. _

_And it's like he knew I was near suffocation and needed to get out from under there. 'Cause, see, fingernails on glass, when in doubt, is possibly the most startling noise. Ever. _

_I opened the window. _

_No one was out there except our stupid neighbor's dog. He stared up at me with limited interest, before returning to his ritualistic flower-digging. _

_And I nearly shut the damn window on _his_ hand. _

_It came out of nowhere, wrapping around my wrist and tugging me half out the window. I nearly screamed before its partner clapped over my lips hastily. "Shut up. You wanna wake up the whole neighborhood?" _

_I knocked his hand away, pulling myself back in as his face came into view. "Depends on if I'm in the mood for sharing my hatred. You know, we have a neighborhood watch for people like you." _

"_People like me," he mused, chuckling to himself. "And, uh, who would that _be_, exact_ly_?" _

"_Just…never mind. What are you _doing_ here?!" _

_He grinned. "I'm taking my, hah, prisoner captive…again." _

_I groaned. "Josh—"_

"_Ah, ah, ah…" He waved the handcuffs in front of my face teasingly. I grabbed them, then chucked them out the window behind his head. He watched them fall to the ground with a dull thud, then turned to grin madly back at me. "Temper, temper." _

_I grinded my teeth together. "You want to see a _temper_?! I'll _show_ you a temper, you sleep-depriving freak." My fingers came down hard on the sill, which, sadly, in turn, slammed down on a finger-less ledge. _

_The window flew back open. _

_He was gone. _

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"Where ya been, _Har_ley?" His smell filled that narrow alley like an intoxicating perfume. Lee found herself almost leaning towards him, _needing_ to breathe him in. He shook her senseless for a moment before giving her a final shove against the wall and holding her there, staring up at his forehead, tongue raving madly along his scars—crimson now. No face paint, just…blood red.

Like he'd smiled them to death.

She blinked, coughing to try to clear her head. "Where's Christopher?"

"Toph-_er _goph-_er_? He's, uh, perfec-_t_, assuming he's still with Mummy Dearest-in-law. But enough about _mine_, I wanna know…every. Little. De-_tail_. About. _Yours._ Did he, ah, make you _smile_?" Joker blinked a few times, eyes rolling madly as he sniffed like some allergic dog at Lee's face. She leaned back and away from him, wincing at his closeness and yet eager for more.

Joker continued blindly, chased her lean to nuzzle her cheek with his shabby, wet one. "Does he, ah, know what makes you _ti-_ck? Did he find every _little_ scrap of s-_oul_ I left you and, _ha,_ piece it back to-_gether_?"

She couldn't think straight. It's like his entire body was radiating in chloroform. So how the hell was _he_ not unconscious yet? Her knees buckled, and he followed her down to the floor of the narrow lane. Josh was nodding crazily now, up and down, twitching from side to side, eyes shifting from her, to the sky, to the ground, and back again, lips jutting out in a selfish pout.

"Didja know, _Lee_, that it's, hmm, qui-_te_ im-_possible_ to finish a puzzle without…the last…_piece_?"

He crouched lower over her, as she continued to melt to the street floor, curling in on herself while he hovered. His fingers reached into his jacket to pull out an all-too-familiar photograph, worn from use and eyes.

Christopher.

"_But. _Luck-_y_ for me, I happen to have the las-_t_. Li-_ttle_. Bi-_tuh._"

Lee reached blindly for it, unable to contain the groan from her torn lungs, like they were ripping to shreds all over again. He jerked it away, though, pocketing it back before patting his chest.

"No," she forced through clenched teeth. "No. You _don't._ Not anymore. _You_, Josh, are the one that doesn't have the last little _bit_ anymore. _I do._" And she grinned, letting her head slam weakly back to the concrete as the bittersweet drug swam through her nostrils.

He giggled, lips shut and nostrils flaring. "No-o-_o?_ _No?!_ Hee, hah, uh, ho, _ha._ Fortun-_ate_ for me…getting people to…ah, _give_…is a talent…right up…my…_alley._"

Joker exploded into an uproar of laughing fits.

But even as he practically fell on top of her, lips parting as his tongue slithered at her jaw line, Lee escaped in her head.

Losing grip with reality, she let herself float.

She'd fight tomorrow.

Always tomorrow.

But for now, she'd focus on that face, tucked in some hidden crate in her heart.

And a little girl smiled back.

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**a/n: I apologize if this chapter seemed a little…heady and out of there. I promise, it will make sense. Later. I haven't gotten much sleep, so this was all purely on wanna-be-caffeine high. promise, I'll have another one out soon. but keep those lovely lil' REVIEWS coming! even for those of you who just…read this story. I know you're out there! I see you add it. review! and I'll give you chapters like it's Xmas. ohhhh and Hot Topic has like…a buncha batman shirts for people who didn't know. and thanks so much for the critique! I promise I shall work more on Lee's characterization—the Joker's is just so fun to play with, so it's easy to get side-tracked to just him…call me obsessed shrug. have a marrrrrvelous weekend, peeps, and REVIEW!! I'll be back…Monday with more chapters. darn this crazy life of mine!**


	11. Chapter 11

disclaimer: not mine

**disclaimer: ****miss me?? not mine. everything's mine but Lee's name, & ze Joker. that fabulous, fabulous sniffle clown. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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It was hard to diverge where exactly she was.

Her head was buried against a pillow, body practically tied down to the bed with the mountainous covers twisted over and around her legs. Lee flexed her fingers but they were too numb to do much but twitch. Or at least, she thought they were twitching--she couldn't _see_ a damn thing. Further movements of desperation revealed she was only in her bra and a fresh pair of holey jeans, clinging almost too tightly and making her feel trapped.

So someone had taken the liberty of undressing her.

Shit.

Shit.

_Shit._

She reached up to tousle her hair hesitantly, when the smell from the pillow nearly drowned her head in _him._

Lee was in _his_ bed.

Quadruple shit.

She did a quick check to make sure all body parts and limbs were intact, before pulling herself up in the pitch darkness. Her feet padded lightly across the room to the door, or what she assumed was the door.

Her fingers had barely twisted the knob when _he_ spoke up from behind her. "Gonna, uh, escape through the close-_t_?"

Lee whirled around, eyes searching blindly through the darkness to see where he was. She edged her shoulders up against the door, fingers still gripping the handle.

Joker was leaning wearily in a chair by the bed, facing the headboard, where she had been moments ago. He was bent over, knees spread, fingers templed at the bridge of his nose. Like he'd been there for centuries.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long 'nough."

She frowned. "Is…is our…is Christopher here?"

His shoulders slumped lower as he let out a low chuckle. "You think I'm stupid or somethin', Har_ley_? If that…if _my_ boy toy so much as, ha, sees you, he'll, ah, run to _Mommy._ He's not gonna…uh, listen to _me_, now is he? No, course no-_t._ You'll squeal, yes you will. Squeal like some pup in a rut. You'll tell him to run from the _big…bad…ma-_nuh…and he will. He _will._"

"I'm not going to let him near you, Josh. If he knew what his father was…" she trailed off, letting the burn sink in. "I just can't."

Joker pulled himself sharply to his feet, knocking the chair over in his haste. He advanced on her so fast, she barely had time to react, before jerking the door behind her open. Just as she nearly slipped in, his fist came down on it hard, slamming it shut and pinning her to the splitting wood. "Harley. Harley. _Har_ley. I _re-_fuse…to be kept out. So…ha, little _pig_, little _pig_. Let. Me. _In._"

She jutted her chin out. "Not by the scars on your fat-assed _grin._"

And his lips were on hers. Pushing. Pulling. Taking. Like he'd always done.

Lee kept rigid. She _hated_ him. Wished he'd choke on his own saliva--maybe even hers. Whatever worked. So long as he'd just fall limp at her feet and she could walk out that door for the last damn time. Never look back.

But that was a long shot dream.

She'd always look back for _him._

His long, chilly fingers wrapped themselves over and around her ears and jaw line, pushing into her bones painfully, as if he were trying to get _some_ reaction from her. His nails dug at her cheeks, pinching into them. Crimson, chafed lips pushed fiercely against her stone ones. But lips and hands were all that touched. The rest were hunched carefully away.

And he gave up.

His other fist collided angrily by her head, as he panted and giggled harshly in her face. "The slut's lost her _t-_ouch."

Her knee came up hard between his legs.

He barely flinched, hands choosing to grapple at her wrists and hold them high above her head as he squinted and cocked his head to the side, tongue lolling out. "Oooh, _ooooh,_ you just _don't_ give in, do ya? When. Will. Ya. _Lear-_nnnn?"

"Maybe when you actually teach me something worth-while. Like, how to _kill._"

His face melted into a pool of laughter. "So Harley wants to be like dear ol' _Dad_, huh? Well _fine. _Listen u-_p._ I'm gonna give you this," he trailed off, pulling sharply away from her to flick a knife out of his pocket and shove it into her hands, keeping them high up. "And I want _you_ to kill…hmm, who shall we have _kick_, ah, the buck-_et_ today?"

Joker leered in her face, glaring up at the ceiling as he thought.

"You for _starters_," Lee spat.

"Save the _bes-_t for las-_t_, Lee," he tsked.

Then he pulled back and rammed her into the door, grinning insanely into her face.

"I _got_ it! How bout…that low bar man, hmm? Uh, I'm _sure_ you'd love to wring his neck for touching _mine._ No? Well that must be _me._ But it would make _such_ an interesting…ah, happily ever aft-_er_, don'tcha _think_?"

"No."

He giggled, slamming her head back into the closet door. "'_No?!'_ What is it with _you_ and this _no?_ I mean, it's in the freaking _Bi-_ble for shit sake! What is it? Uhh, wives sub-_mi-_tuh. To their. _Husbands._"

"_No._"

"And there it is a-_gain!_" His laughter was harsh and grating now.

"I'm not going to do it, Josh." Her teeth clenched. "He was nice to me."

"_Nice_ to you? Look, Harley, _hun_. There's no such thing as _nice_ anymore. There's people who screw you over when you least expect it. And then…there's _me._" He flashed her a deadly smile. "I have my own category."

Lee rose an eyebrow quietly, rising up on her toes to relieve the numbness in her wrists.

"_I_ am gen-u-_ine._ I'm not gonna _change._ I'll screw you over _when_ you expect it, and _when_ you be-_guh_ for it. You," he giggled, "of _all_, ah, people…should know _that_ best."

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_I was freezing my ass off and suddenly living the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat'. _

_My bare feet had barely landed on the ground when I was flying through the air again, then being shoved on the wet grass with someone on top of me. Something was forced over my eyes, but the weight of _him_ kept me from struggling. I mean, gaw, had that guy ever heard of Jenny Craig? _

_When he was done tying whatever the hell it was over my eyes, he pulled himself off of me, sweeping me off my own feet and up into his own arms. _

"_Put. Me. Down. Now." _

"_Ya really need to work on your orders. But, ah, your wish is my command." _

_I swear my ass fell off when I hit that ground. _

_Oh, but victory would be sweet…later. _

_He hauled me to my feet again, before wrapping one arm around my shoulders, and cuffing my wrists in his other. "Where are we going?" _

"_So many questions, so many answers." _

"_But that was my first que--"_

"_Ah, ah. Hush up." _

_And oddly…I did. _

_I listened as his shoes crunched on the gravel road, my feet slipping through the dewy grass. His breathing was soft and heady, but he smelled like danger, metallic and intoxicating. _

_The blindfold itched and I wrinkled my nose in some silly attempt to scratch it. He halted for a moment, leaned in, and scratched my temple with the edge of his nose. Sounds gross, I know, but I promise. It felt like my heart exploded out my butt. Which, again, sounds gross…so I'm gonna hush on the ooey-gooey details. _

_We walked for a good hour, and I told him he'd better plan on carrying me back. He'd just laugh and brush it off with a, "watch your step." And of course, being the generic klutz in my family, my foot would catch on air and into his arms I'd sprawl. But it was nice. I even contemplated tripping on purpose. I never was one for acting, though. Or lying. _

_But Josh? _

"_I talk out of my ass a lo-_t_," he giggled admittedly at one point. Verbal proof right there, folks. Good as writing, right? Wrong. _

_So I still fell for every stupid line he fed me. I gobbled it up like some chocolate-deprived little girl. _

_When my toenails brushed achingly against concrete, I winced. Water lapped nearby, and I half wondered if he'd taken me out here to drown me. Way to go, Lee. You fell for a serial killer and you willingly went with him to the slaughterhouse. Really. Standing ovation for that one. _

"_Where are we?" _

"_Shush, sssssh, _sshhhhh_!" he hissed madly. We climbed a few sets of asphalt stairs, and the more we climbed, the more I found myself leaning my weight into Josh, relying entirely on him for…well, everything. _

_And I got this sick feeling he _enjoyed_ my dependency on him. The control. _

_And even sicker? More sick? …whatever? _

_I wanted to give him every ounce of it. _

_Let him take over my strings. _

_We stopped. Wind was whipping at my face. My body racked with chills and I could already feel the goose bumps settling in to claim their own miniature version of the Andes Mountains. I sniffed at the air. It was clean, so my nostrils burned when Josh leaned in closer to breath in my ear. _

"_Damn." _

_I licked my lips. "What?" _

_The blindfold was ripped off hastily, shredding my ears and pulling at my hair. _

_He repeated. "Damn." _

_I looked out, and nearly leapt in his arms. Fear raced down my spine, temporarily stopping my heart. I gazed out at a glassy lake, reflecting every single star. No moon. Just twinkling little dots littering the night. And I was standing on air. Nothing was below me but absolute darkness. But then nerves retraced and I _was_ standing on something. Solid concrete. _

_My toes danced lightly on it for a moment before I released Josh, a sigh of relief escaping my suddenly dry lips. _

"_Oh," I laughed softly. "Dam. You said dam." _

_And then he was there. Like, _right_ there. And his lips were on mine. And our arms were around each other. And we just…were. Nothing happened. We were just totally…us. Lips pressed, him holding, me trying to hold. _

_So I practically growled when he pulled away. _

"_No." He grinned, and even in the pitch blackness, I could see that stupid smile. "Damn." _

_And I was falling. _

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Lee's eyes peeled back warily against the sun's wake-up call.

They roved over the backseat of her car, where she was curled up, hardly strapped in, with his purple suit coat draped across her torso. She nearly threw it off when realization dawned that it was practically the only modest thing she was wearing aside from jeans. So, stubbornly, she jerked it tighter around herself and curled up tighter, glaring at the now-gloved hand that twitched on the steering wheel.

His face paint was back, freshly caked and chapped. Those scars pulled taught as he opened and stretched his jaw repeatedly, like it was some pressured ear he couldn't quite make…pop. And then those black, outlined eyes were in the rearview, which was shifted to point directly at her.

It was just a glance.

And he was staring back at the road, slamming both hands on the wheel.

"Well, h-_ello_ there, gorgeous. Really, ha, bed head _does_ become you."

Lee anxiously jerked her fingers through the knots in her hair. She sat up. "Where are we? Where's Christopher?"

"Sh, sh, shhhh," his purple, leather finger tapped his lips. "Curiosity killed the _Lee._ Now. What say…you and, uh, _I_…go grab some, hmm, gru-_b_?"

"I'm not hungry."

He just giggled, twisting in his seat to stare at her gleefully. The car swerved closer to the passerbys in the next lane. "Course you _aren't, _you anorexic addict of _me._"

Lee just stared blankly out the window. "Watch it."

He reached back and tapped her cheeks with the back of his hand. "Oh, I'm watchin' _it._"

There was a thump, and the earsplitting sound of metal on metal. A horn exploded in fury, and the Joker whirled around and shifted the car back into its lane. "Woo, heee, ha, _oh_, nobody knows _how_ to, uh, _dur-_ive. These. _Days._" His tongue buzzed before slipping out to worry his scarred cheeks.

He pulled out onto the next exit, somewhere in Tennessee. Speedway loomed overhead as he slid the car into park. His shoulders twisted awkwardly as he climbed through the armrest opening and practically on top of Lee in the backseat. Joker scooted over to the middle, giving her a little room before shakily plastering his hair down.

"Be a _good-_uh little pet, and tell _Daddy_ what the rules are for this g-_ame._"

Lee kept her eyes trained out the window. _People._ They were everywhere. And Josh was dumb enough to trust her not to do anything stupid.

"H-_ey, _hello, _there_? Anybody. _Home_?" His hands grappled for her temples, before swiveling her head around to meet his fierce gaze. "This is, ah, just a _pit_ stop before Shitty-nooga. Food. Bathroom. _'Nuthin'_ else? Ah," he counted off his fingers. "Keep your silly head _down. _Shut it. Get what ya need and _go._"

"Chattanooga? We're going to Chattanooga?" Lee searched his face for some explanation, but it was hard to break past the clown face and into Josh. She panicked.

"Yes, yes, _yes._ Yeah, I mean, _yessss._ I wanna…I wanna see _my_ boy."

"I thought--"

Joker clucked his tongue admonishingly. "You _assumed_, Har_ley._ Never _ass. _Uuuuume." His fingers dug sharply into her skull, pulling her nose-to-nose with him. "Ya so much as _look_ at _anyone_ other than _me_? And…well…ah, ah, _ah_, don't you lif-_t _that finger to me." He released one side of her head to snake around her finger. His tongue slid out as if to lick it, but then he appeared to change his mind as it exploded in pain.

He growled at her as she muffled her scream with her bit tongue. "_Yer not gonna get very far, Harley. _So run? And I'll _rip_ your legs off. Scream? And I'll _cu-_t your mouth off. _Frown_? And I'll _carve_ the prettiest _smile_ you ever. Did. _See._"

"When _hell_ freezes over," she snapped, jerking her head out of his grasp. Her fingers fumbled with the door and she slid out, slamming it shut in his face. He just opened it up, skipping out before locking it, and shoving her against the side of the car. He glanced around. Then glared at her.

"Har_ley, _Harley. It'll freeze over when I _tell_…ah, it to _freeze_ over."

Joker's fingers reached out to button up his coat around her. They must've looked awkward. His overgrown, sliced, purple coat around her practically bare skin, and him in his evergreen collared shirt, with purple suspenders and suit pants. No. Of course Lee wouldn't need to attract any attention. He would do _that_ himself.

"Oh, and, uh, _hun_?"

Lee hastily cradled her released, broken finger, eyeing the swollen and bruised flesh. "Wha-_t_?"

"You sold your soul a…ha, _long_ time ago."

She kept her eyes trained on the double sliding doors as Joker pushed her towards life or death.

"And it's, hmmm…_time_ to. Pay. _U-_p."

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**a/n: I had better get a bajillion reviews for this long chapter -- I worked on it on my GETAWAY. but…can't escape it. thanks to all those who ARE reviewing. keep it up, please, zey make me very, very h-appy! makes me feel wanted and writer-worthy! gaw, I move out on Monday for college OO so don't be surprised if chapters slow due to that. but as always, gimme a review and I'll give you an air hug! thanks for stickin with it thus far. if there's any suggestions, feel free to share. can't promise I'll change it, but I'm always willing to hear out my readers. enjoy your week! oh, and I've only seen the movie 3 times. I'm itching for a 4****th**** soon though. **


	12. Chapter 12

"Keep

**disclaimer: don't own it. oh, but warning: the POV switches up a bit in this chappie. don't let it confuse you. promise, it'll make sense. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"Keep. Your. Head. _Down._"

And Lee did.

Just like she'd always done.

Joker's hand was firmly twitching at the small of her back, face pale as he'd wiped off his makeup in the car, probably with his own saliva. He did, after all, have more than enough to probably end world thirst…if they'd find some way to purify it.

The gas station was full enough—cars at every tank, with people bustling inside, arms stuffed with snacks and drinks. Lee's mouth watered and she realized she hadn't eaten in a good day or two. There was a pained growl in her stomach. The Joker leaned forward slightly, eyeing her with barely concealed rage, as if the sound of her dying intestines would give them away. Heaven forbid.

Air conditioning swept back her greasy hair. A shower was needed, but it would have to wait. Lee glanced around them. Josh seemed to keep one eye firmly on her as he scoped the tiny building, before giving her an anxious push forward.

"Meet me outside. _Five. Minutes._ Ya don't come out, _I'll come in._ And I'm, ah, _no-_t comin' in _alone._" His fingers pulled suggestively at his open collar before he whirled and disappeared out the door. It closed behind him. And Lee nearly collapsed in sobs of release.

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**Some call this obsession. **

**Some call this an addiction. **

**But me? **

**I, ah, I call it **_**love.**_

**Which is exactly why I lied to her. Leave her my **_**ass.**_** Ha. What a **_**joke.**_** There are some things, in this screwed up, chaotically-strewn planet, that you just. Can't. Let. Go of. **

**And this **_**Harley**_**? **

**I couldn't get that emotionally-wrought slut out of my head. Ever since I met her. She was there, 24/7. And with some sick plummeting feeling in my should-have-been-dead heart, I realized, **_**I**_** was the one chained to **_**her.**_

**Yeah. You probably sit there, and think, is this guy **_**nuts?!**_

**Well. For starters, I **_**have**_** 'em. **

**For seconds, maybe I am a little off my loop. **

**No. **

**No, I'm stronger than this, damnit. Not some weakling like **_**her.**_** The way she breaks, I can see it in her eyes, and deep down? It **_**kills**_** me. **

**Harley will be the death of me. **

**But I'm not going down without **_**her.**_

**Why?**

'**Cause she's like that damn **_**itch**_** you can't scratch. And when you **_**do**_**? Yeah. Leaves scars. **_**Everywhere.**_** I should know. **

**I watched her carefully behind the candy aisle I'd ducked into. She hadn't even bothered to check if I was there or not. But I guess it didn't matter to her. **

**Pet. **

**Pet. **

_**Pet.**_

**I'm gonna cut your leash. **_**Yes I am.**_

**Maybe it's not what you want. **

**But you need it. **

**I know. **

**Shhh, don't try to tell me otherwise. **

**I crept closer, staying low but inconspicuous. Her fingers were clawing greedily through the racks of Slim Jim, canned peanuts, and chocolates. Then she made a dash for sodas, ripping open the doors with some feral strength I never thought she had. Dr. Pepper. Coca-Cola. Pink Lemonade. It all went with her, arms overflowing, as she strutted carefully up to the checkout counter. **

"**How are ya, today, Miss?" **

**She bit her lip, eyes flashing around her. **

**I was waiting. **

**For that bargain to break. **

**No talking. Keep your mouth shut. **

**I'd been close enough, you see. I **_**was**_** close enough. **

"**Sir…can you help me…with…something?" **

**My eyes widened, then narrowed. **

**Game. Over. **

"**What do ya need, Hun?" **

**There was an extravagantly long pause. **

**I mean really. **

**I could have swept in, sung every shitty song to Mamma Mia, dancing on my toes, finishing with an encore, and those two would have **_**still**_** been there. **

**Time to…break the **_**ice.**_

**She stammered for a moment, before finally spitting out her words. I hated and loved her with ever bullshitting beat of my damn heart—may it rest in pieces after I finish this with her. "Where's…your Extra Strength Tylenol?" **

**He nodded to an aisle, and she dashed over, then dashed back like there was some silly time bomb about to go off. Hmmm…bombs. Good distraction. Good **_**destruction. **_**Now why the hell didn't I think of that? **

**She dumped six bottles on the counter. So our little **_**Lee'**_**s a druggie? Or a now-suicidal wanna-be? What. A. Damn. Pity. She wouldn't be here that long to even **_**try.**_** Maybe I'd need them for what I was about to do. Maybe. Maybe not. **

**I watched as she hurriedly dropped several bills onto the counter, muttered something about keeping the change, and gathered her two bags, ready to disappear out of that door forever. Either way, she wasn't about to willingly listen to either of **_**us.**_

**Before she'd made it past the first aisle, I was there, my shoulder ramming into hers hard. No one seemed to notice. She nearly yelled out a string of curses, before I continued shoving my weight into her until her back met the back wall. Her eyes were screwed shut, nostrils flaring, so she **_**couldn't**_** see me. What I was about to do to her. I flung open the women's restroom door hard, shoving her inside. She collapsed against the opposite wall, rubbing her head, brows knit together in confusion. **

"**I **_**just**_** asked the dude where…" she trailed off in a groan of frustration. I waited, patiently, her eyes downcast. I wanted her to **_**look me**_** in the **_**effing eyes**_** before I did it. **

"**I mean, what the **_**hell**_**, J—"**

**I grinned. Wide and broad. Crossing the room to meet her. And end this. **

"_**Jeremy?!**_**" **

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_I fell forever. _

_Like, I could have lived out my whole life before my feet, or head, or butt—whatever was facing down—ever even thought about hitting the water. _

_I'd barely dropped below the freezing rocky surface before I kicked my way back up. The water _burned_. It clung to my lungs and clothes like a thousand needles, digging and clawing. But he was right. _Damn.

_At first I wasn't sure if Josh had planned on just leaving me there. _

_It would be so like him to leave a prank unfinished. _

_But then I never even heard him hit the water. _

_And strong arms were around me, pulling me. I was kicking, flailing, trying to get away. "Hold. Still," he grunted, dragging me through the ice. _

_I was pulled up and over some concrete ledge, near the base of the dam. I couldn't feel _anything._ Like my entire nervous system had just shut down in my stupidity of faith. So I waited. Josh hauled himself up by my side then produced a blanket out of nowhere—like he'd planned for me to freeze to death. He bundled it around me, giggling quietly to himself as he shifted me into his arms. Like he had the better deal. _

_And maybe he did. _

"_W-w-what…are…y-y-yooou…on-n-n-n?!" I stuttered, wriggling further into the blanket and him. Josh just held me tighter, lips quivering in my hair. And I loved it. If I'd been warm enough, I would have melted right then and there. _

_I glanced up. The dam towered some odd hundred number of feet above, and I suddenly felt insignificantly small. And there was this darkness suddenly tugging at the frayed edges of my brain. _

_I yawned. _

"_Ah, ah, ah," he warned quietly, reaching around to lightly smack my cheeks. "No sleep-_ing._" _

"_And why the hell not?" I mumbled back, letting my eyes slide closed. _

"_Die. You'll, ah…die." Quiet, there was no joking in his tone. But it wasn't enough to really keep me awake. "The…hmm, water's so ass-cold that, uh, your heart will…sto-_p_." _

"_That's," I yawned again, "impossible." _

"_Hearts break. Surely…they can stop." _

_His logic burned. But it still wasn't working. My body was already sagging against him heavily, and I just couldn't help it. "Well…well, this was _your_ idea. Suffer…the…consequences…" _

"_No, no, no, no, no," he song-sung, suddenly dropping me and pulling the blanket out of reach. I nearly screeched at him. _

"_What is your problem?! I'm freezing, dumbass! Give it here!" _

_He licked his lips. "Make. Me." _

_I eyed him for a moment. He'd like that, wouldn't he? _

_But I was too tired to do anything rash. Revenge Numero Dos would have to come later…God I'm such a procrastinator. _

_My legs buckled and I leaned raggedly against the dam, sliding down until I was sprawled all over the place. Josh just laughed as he watched me freeze to death. And at that point, I was hardly sure why _he_ wasn't cold. He just stayed there, blanket folded over one arm, the other playing with some Swiss Army knife, the blade glinting in the fading moonlight. It was almost sunrise. _

_Suddenly, a vicious growling erupted through the ground. My God, we were going to die. He had brought me here to die. That son of a bitch. _

_I stammered to my feet, tripping over them as I tried to shove past Josh to find a ladder, another path—anything—to get out of this hellhole he'd pushed me into—quite literally. And that's when I saw it. The nearest ladder was hundreds of feet away. We were in the exact center of a collapsing dam, and there was no way out. _

_I rounded on Josh, glaring daggers at him. _

_He just lifted his arms in mock surrender, pocketing his knife. "_Har_ley, calm down, sweet cakes. Ya, ya got this," he laughed, "look in your eye." _

"_Ever heard the exp-exp…"I trailed off. The damn word wouldn't get out of my blue lips. "'If…looks could…k-k-k'…damnit!" _

"_Harley?" _

"_Y-y-yea?" _

_And the dam exploded. _

_Water gushed over the top, alert sirens screaming in the cool morning air. The water barely missed the ledge we were resting on, collapsing in a white froth below. I just stared. _

"_Up…there, Lee-sters." _

_And I looked up. _

_My heart stopped. _

_The water seemed frozen like glass, rippling overhead hundreds of feet, in a perfect arc. But it wasn't so much the water, as the colors. Sunrise had lifted. Oranges, pinks, reds, and yellows all danced on the waving shards, bathing us in rainbows. _

_I loved it. _

_I couldn't take my eyes off it, even as Josh came up behind me, draping the blanket over my shoulders and wrapping his thin but firm arms around my waist. His chin rested on the top of my head, and I got that weird feeling he wasn't watching the detonation of colors at all. _

"_Happy birthday, Harley." _

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**a/n: drool okay, so, I had a lil' fluff in there. I wanna put more…but it's hard, because…well…we all love that sexy, dangerous, deranged Joker. anyway. thanks to all the fantabulous reviews! I'm loving every one of you all ;-D again, any ideas or thoughts on things you'd like to see happen would be marvelous! sometimes inspiration is a lil' slow. but imma never stop! enjoyyyy ze day. oh, and I have no idea how many of you look into , BUT I have done 3 drawings of our lovely sexy, kick-A clown: ****blacksilkrose123./**


	13. Chapter 13

This was not good

**disclaimer: not mine. oh and uh…my bad, ha…for the record, the last chapter—the POV in bold…was Jeremy's…I tried to make it all twisty and you guys be like, 'zomg joker!' tryin to be sneaky, but it may have been too sneaky haha. but…it was…Jeremy…Joker actually did leave to go outside --'' I guess I should've made that more clear. it is in this chapter, at least…I hope. sorry for the confusion!! enjoy. and my mistake…if anyone was interested in seeing my fanart, one is called Why(underscore)so(underscore)serious(underscore)? by muah. should be the ink one. and from there you can check the other two. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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This was not good.

This was not good _at all._

Five minutes and three seconds had passed since Josh had walked out that door.

She was so. Effing. Screwed.

He'd said five minutes. Five damn minutes. And what was it now?

Five minutes, eighteen seconds.

Crappit all to hell.

Lee stayed crouched on the floor, glaring up at Jeremy. He had that stupid grin plastered on his face, but his eyes had darkened dangerously. "Hey, you."

"Hey yourself. I hope you know you've just dug yourself the deepest hole on earth, Jer. Because…_he's_ not going to like this."

"I wasn't counting on this to make us all one big _happy_ family, _Harley._"

"Then what the hell are you _doing_?" she screeched, shouldering her groceries and inching her way back to full height. Jeremy took a few steps closer, then backed up one, as if afraid _she_ was afraid.

"I'm saving you."

"I _don't_ need saving. I can save myself if I need it—"

"Lee. He's got you so screwed over you don't know shit from…" he hesitated, glancing over his shoulder at the door, then back. "From no shit."

"I think I can tell—"

A loud _bang!_ set off outside the door, followed by screams. Then silence.

"_Time to go,_" Jeremy growled hoarsely, hooking his arm around Lee and towing her around a corner and to the wall of sinks. He pressed her against it, leaning forward, listening.

"F-_ive_, five, _five. _Jus-_tuh _five. I'm gonna, _ha_, t-_each. _Her how to count. T-_ell_ time. Can you tell time? Here, no, _here._ Can ya? Lemme see. Count _back_wards from, uh, _five._ Just. Just do it. _Count._"

Somewhere a piece of glass shattered, followed by a row of cans. Someone was whimpering. But all Lee could do was focus on her pounding heart, and Jeremy's hand on her shoulder, pushing her into the wall. The groceries felt like dead weight now. Lee shut her eyes, tilting her head back and trying to breathe. _In. Out. In. Out. _

"F-f-f-f-five." A little boy's voice.

He yelped, and Lee could just _see_ the Joker shoving the butt of whatever he had into the boy's gut.

"F-f-f-f-f-f-four-r." A little boy's voice. Like Christopher. Not Christopher. But high and squeaking, like his. That was somebody's Christopher.

"Th-th-three-ee-_ee._" He was sobbing. Lee could hear it. And she suddenly wished her heart was thumping so much louder, to drown out the inevitable.

"Mm_hmm_, keep. Go-_ing._" Josh. Josh. _Don't do it. _

"T-two." A woman was crying. His mother?

"O-o-one…"

The woman screamed.

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_We were sitting on the stoop to my house. _

_Voices were yelling behind us. _

_Whenever the fights began, I'd leave. _

_And wait. _

'_Cause if I waited long enough, _he_ always turned up, like he knew I needed him or something. _

_I hated and loved it._

_Because, I _knew_ him. And if there was one thing Josh despised most, it was a weak person. Absolutely unacceptable. And of course, I wanted nothing more than to please him. But I couldn't. 'Cause when things went that far down the drain, he had to be the one to fish me out. _

_I didn't have to look up, or unfold myself from my arms and legs. I just knew he was there. Call it some internal GPS on the dude, but it was there. _

"_I hate this." _

_He was just quiet as I reached down to pull at the chafed rubber on my shoe. I flicked a few pieces off, kind of waiting for him to be all responsive. Big Letdown should have been his middle name. _

"_I wanna leave." _

"_You wanna disappear?" His eyes seemed to light up, and I just glared at him, because, as usual, he couldn't be _serious_ enough to hold a real conversation. He licked his lips in anticipation, as if I were begging him to do another magic trick on me. _

_Yeah._

_Right. _

_I'd probably come back with wings, some freakishly gross fungus on my face, and the chest size of Dolly Parton. I mean really. I could come back mutated, deformed beyond human belief. No freaking way was I going to let him near me again with a wand and a mysterious red-silk blanket. Last time? He caught my toe on fire and nearly singed off an eyebrow. _

_No. _

_Freaking. _

_Way. _

"_No. I want to…leave, leave. Like…get out of here. For good." _

_I eyed Josh warily from the corner of my eyes. He glanced over his shoulder at the screen door behind us, cocking his head as he listened to the shouts and curses. Then he swiveled his head around, and in a dangerously low voice, "Want me to make _them_ disappear? Out of here. For, uh, good?" _

_I laughed. "I wish." But then I caught the look in his eyes, and froze up._

_He took my hands in his. I'd started shaking my head mechanically back and forth, but I don't think he really noticed—or he didn't give a damn. "Lee, _Lee, _Har_ley. _You have…but, uh, to say…the word. And they're gone. Poof. For…ev…er. Ya know, ya _know_," he licked at his lips anxiously, eyes searching mine, "I only…wan-_t_ the best for ya." _

_Something in his tone made me realize he wasn't joking. _

"_So, ah, can I assume…that to be a belated birthday wish?" he hissed quietly—not menacing, just…childish. Like the last word was caught in his mouth. _

"_No." _

"_But," he pouted, lower lip jutting out while his thumb stroked my cheek. "I never got to give you my present." _

"_What? Kidnapping me, shoving me off a damn dam, freezing my ass off to the point of hypothermia, and fulfilling any death wishes I might have had before isn't enough? 'Cause, _geeze_, it's plenty to me." Sarcasm stuck out like a sore thumb. But the sunrise _had_ meant _something _to me. Even if it was slightly…miniscule…in comparison to the rest of the night. _

_Somewhere behind me, glass shattered, and my mom screamed. _

_I flinched. I didn't want to look. 'Cause I knew _exactly_ what I'd see if I turned around—direct line of fire down the hall and into the kitchen. I tried to ignore it. Josh even pulled himself back and behind me, angling himself protectively as he stared over his own shoulder with hooded eyes. I bowed my head, biting my lip. "Please." _

_Josh twitched anxiously, turning his black eyes on me. "Lee." _

"_Josh." _

_He shook his head, hand coming over my shoulder to wrap around my jaw, twisting my head to the side to meet his stern gaze. So serious. So _damn_ serious. _

_Shit. _

"Lee_," he whined like some kicked dog, searching my face for something that obviously wasn't there. He squeezed harder, stroking my lips now with his fingers. _

_I breathed. "Josh." _

_The shouts and screams had increased tenfold, to the point where I _would_ have wished I were dead…except, Josh had pulled me away from it all. Like we were trapped in our own little, un-poppable bubble. And, like some wiseass, typical man…he burst it. _

"_Lee, your moth-_er_," his tone dripped with something unfamiliar. _

_I was already shaking. "She's fine. She's always fine. She'll be fine." _

_Josh's eyes hardened on mine, before shifting away back to the hall. _

"_She has a, uh…ah, very…pre-_tt-y_ smile…" _

_I let a laugh slip out with a dry sob. "What're you talking about?" I was already turning around to follow his maddened stare. "She never…"_

_But the words never came out. _

_My mother was hunched against the wall. _

_My father's fingers were jutting out abnormally long, poised to strike. Until I realized they weren't his fingers. Glass shards were wedged between them, long, green, and glinting in the lamplight. He lifted his fist in the air. _

_My mother's face was turned up towards him, body racked with feverish chills. There were lines extending from the edges of her lips. A gruesome, blood-painted smile. _

_I couldn't tear my eyes away. _

_Josh was trying to pull me, my back to his chest, arms locked around mine. I hadn't even realized I'd been running for the door. He tore me away. _

_Away from my cowardly mother. _

_Away from my abusive father. _

_I didn't _want_ to get away now. _

_I wanted to get _in_ the way. _

_But Josh just held me back as I screamed at my father, heart dying. _

_And I couldn't do a damn thing as he backhanded her across the mouth again. _

_And again. _

_And again…_

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Lee couldn't hold it in anymore.

The bags, heavy pinching weight on her fingers, were sagging closer and closer to the floor. Jeremy wasn't even watching her, thank God. He was too busy hyperventilating somewhat quietly and staring around the corner at the door, waiting for fate to walk in in the shape of a five-foot-eleven clown.

She could hear the woman screaming in harsh, clipped tones. She was waiting too. Maybe Josh was prolonging it…

But Lee didn't have time to wait and see if he'd killed the little boy yet.

She took a deep breath…

…and flung the bag of groceries directly into the mirror.

It spiderwebbed sickeningly, pieces splintering in the sinks.

Jeremy whirled on her.

But he was too late.

Her lungs gave way. "_JOSH!!_"

The bathroom door flung open, banging loudly against the cement, tiled wall. The intruder was silent for a moment, probably expecting them to be in plain sight. And then it released a low, throaty chuckle.

"Ha, _ha, _hee, oh, _Har_ley? You, uh, _ran-_guh?"

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**a/n: thanks a million for all of your fantabulous reviews! they really keep me going :-D and make me giggle. imma have to start doing individual thank yous…when I have more time. so look forward to those in ze near future! also. Christopher is coming up soon…and some surprises! ahhh inspiring song of the day: Up Against the Wall by Boys Like Girls…I know it's a guy singing, but I see it from Lee's point of view. anyway. enjoyyyyy**


	14. Chapter 14

"Lee, what the hell are you doing

**disclaimer: don't. own. it. haha and a few notes…not sure I could make the phone book that interesting ;-D aaaaaand regarding "effing" all the time…I honestly just hate saying the word. so…it's not in light of the rating—that's not my issue. I just hate saying that word lol…so, in your head, if you'd like, switch it to…the word…but imma keep it that way. anyway, thanks for ze song suggestions! I am checkin' zem out. as for Jeremy: this whole story is set post TDK…but not in Gotham. ergo, it **_**is**_** likely Jeremy's heard of who this freak is, but not quite aware who he's dealing with. like any typical guy, he's trying to play the hero in Lee's life, so all rational thought to the killer clown goes out the window. anyway, hope that clears some of it up! enjoyyyyyy! **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"_Lee, what the _hell_ are you _doing_?!_" Jeremy spat in Lee's face.

She pushed at his arms, but to no avail. Her head slammed against the broken mirror. Pain ripped through her skull. "I'm _not_ going to let him kill you, Jer," she whispered heatedly. "You hide now, and I can calm him down long enough for you to get your ass out of here. But he won't _stop, _Jeremy. Not until he has me, and you're dead."

Jeremy slapped a hand over her mouth, nearly suffocating her. He pressed his face into her hair, lips on her ear. "I'm. _Not._ Leaving. You."

Lee's eyes narrowed.

"Har_ley._ You, uh, _really_ know how to piss a guy off," Joker called around the corner. "I mean…what _is_ this? Yeah, I know you damn women and your bathroom breaks…going in pairs…like some bladder-controlled support group…but _puh-_lease! Doesn't take more than five damn minutes to go, ya know?"

Jeremy leaned into her harder, warning her not to make a noise.

A stall door banged open at the wall behind them. Lee jumped. Another crashed into the wall, hinges squealing and snapping with the force of Joker's blow.

"I'm gettin' real…_tired_…of this, _Lee._ So unless this is some…scenario that, ah," he chuckled mirthlessly, "turns you _on_…I suggest…you ge-_t_ d-_own_ on your knees…right…_now._ And you'd, uh, better _be-_guh. For mercy."

His voice moved, shifting closer to their corner. Jeremy hauled Lee away from the wall and they took a few steps towards the opposite end. If Josh crossed the other wall at the same time, they'd be home free, out the door, and gone.

But Lee's heart tore.

She didn't _want_ to be gone…

Her mind screamed at her. Yet her heart couldn't help it.

The brand on her neck grew to a numb flame. Reminding her who she belonged to.

Joker sighed audibly, his tone pausing at the corner. One step, and they could escape. "I know you're with…ah, _him_, Har_ley._"

His boot kicked out from behind the wall. Jeremy threw her around the corner, just as the Joker rounded the other one.

They were safe.

"Pup, pup, _pu-_p, _puppy. _Come _'ere_, girl." He whistled.

Lee stared from Jeremy to the door, arms shaking badly as he tried to pull her out.

Joker's voice grew louder. "Hey, _hey._ Ah…Jer B-_ear_, is it?" He paused, as if expecting Jeremy to respond. He cleared his throat dramatically. "Hey! Uh, listen u-_p_, Doro-_thy._ You return my…heh, _Toto_ back to me…_now…_and, uh, we'll just _see_ if we can't get you back them red slippers of yours, huh?" His footsteps were rapidly crossing to them. Metal sliced through the air.

Jeremy shoved Lee out of the doorway. "_Go,_" he mouthed. "_Meet you. Go!_"

Lee nodded shakily, as Jeremy pushed himself silently against the wall, waiting for Joker to round the bend. But all she could do was watch. She waited. And she couldn't hold back the sob that escaped her quivering lips. She hugged herself, backing up as her eyes trained on that corner.

Josh Kerit stepped directly into her line of sight—and Jeremy's.

He only saw her.

He only _ever_ saw her.

His face fell. "_Harley?_"

"Leave her _out_ of this." Jeremy stepped up, pulling a gun from his back pocket. He shoved it roughly into the Joker's temple. "Go to hell."

"There's no place like _home, _lover boy." He growled. He kept those black, soul-piercing eyes on Lee, rooting her to the spot.

Josh cackled.

The gun cocked.

And Lee ran.

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"_I'm not a bad egg-_uh,_ Har_ley. _I swear. So quit makin' me out to be…so…bad egg-ish. I'm more, ah, along the lines of…Sunny Side U-_p_. You ordered me. Now, _deal._" _

_But I wasn't listening to him. _

_As far as I was concerned, I wasn't going to hear another damn thing out of his grinning mouth. If I listened, I obeyed. And even if I didn't, somehow, I still obeyed. _

_I should have been there. _

I_ should have been hit. _

I_ should have been the one in that stupid hospital bed. _

_My face was mushed up against the glass of her door window. I couldn't go in. I'd told myself to move, but my damn feet were on some other frequency—probably Josh's, like every other part of me, except my head. _

_Everything else? _

_His. _

_I groaned as a headache erupted through my temples. Josh was at my side, just staring at me, one side of his lips quirked up like he was deriving some sort of sick satisfaction from my failing emotions. I glared through the foggy pane. At my mother. And at my reflection in the double-glass. _

_At her for being so weak. _

_And me for being even weaker. _

"_So, uh…"_

"_Shut up, Josh." _

_His eyes narrowed dangerously, brows furrowed. "Harley—"_

_I kept my face to the cool glass, unable to take my eyes off her bandaged, frail body. Not moving. Hardly breathing. _

_Josh's hand came down on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off abruptly. I suddenly hated him near me. I just wanted…just wanted him to leave me alone, like everyone else. No, it's what I needed. I _needed_ this. This space away from him. Time. _

_I needed more time. _

_There was a low rumbling in his throat, frighteningly on track with a growl and nonverbal warning. He reached for my waist this time to tug me closer, but I pushed away from the window and smacked at his hand. Josh took a swift step towards me, but I didn't flinch. I just stood there. _

_And suddenly his head had snapped to the side. _

_A red mark the size of my hand throbbing on his cheek. _

_He palmed his jaw, eerily turning his head sideways towards mine. _

"_This is _your_ fault." _

_That caught him off guard. He tried to play it off innocent. "M-_my_ fault? If I hadn't—"_

"_Exactly! If. You. _Hadn't._ My mom wouldn't be in there right now." _

"_Yea. But _you_ would. So, wha-_t_? I'm not…about to, ah, just stand by, _Har_ley, and let you do that to, huh, yourself. There are, uh, bet-_ter_ people for _that._ You? You've sun-_k._ Just low 'nough, that you're down on _my_ level. And now? That you're, ah, here? I'm not 'bout to let you…screw…it all u-_p._ I've waited. Too long. For this. And I'm…I'm not gonna let you just…take that away. From. Me." _

"_Sorry to burst your bullshitting bubble, but you have no say in that, Josh." _

"_Be-_guh_ to…differ, _Lee._ But I do." _

_I turned my head to stare back through the window. "And how the hell do you figure that?" _

"_Be-_cause_," his tongue buzzed. "You were mine the moment you were born, Lee-sters. It was just a matter of time before _you_ found me. So cut that out…your own little bubble of bullshit. Like you don't know what I'm talkin' 'bout. 'Cause you do. I've seen it…in your eyes. You do. You _do._ You damn, _damn_ do." _

"_Whatever." No denial. Just…whatever. I could only focus on my mom. The bandages on her wrists and face. _

_And my father. _

_My fingers clenched at the thought. My foot connected roughly with the wall before I turned and stalked down the hallway, leaving Josh standing there, smirking after me. _

_Like I'd finally learned the rules to his dangerous game. _

_I went back, a few hours later. Josh was missing. The hospital seemed empty. I _hated_ being alone. So, as I balanced a few cups of coffee and a bagel, I shouldered my way into _her_ room. She hadn't woken up yet. They didn't know if she was going to. But I wasn't about to take that chance. Coma or no coma. _

_Pulling up a chair, I curled myself in it and just watched her. There were tubes down her throat, glued to her arms, and that sick, fading beating on the monitors. Hanging by a string. _

_My hand wrapped around hers. I squeezed. "Why do you let him do this to you?" _

_I leaned further over, pressing my cheek to her cold hand. _

"_You deserve better." _

"_Ah, you _both_ do." _

_I didn't flinch. I watched her carefully, lips cooing to her that it would be fine. _

_More for myself, than for her. _

_He was handing me a glass of something. Tasted like coke. But I needed the caffeine, so I downed it in four gulps, then let the glass plunk to the floor. _

_Josh was at my side now, his fingers softly raking through my hair. I didn't stop him. It wouldn't put me to sleep now. Even as his index and thumb curled over the tip of my ear, squeezing, then raking down my neck. I glared at my mother. But I couldn't move. _

"_It's, hmm, be-_duh_ time, Harley." _

_What was he, my _mother_? No. My mother was right there, in a pain induced coma that she could never wake up from. And it was all my fault. Josh's fault. Dad's fault. "I'm not tired." _

_He chuckled quietly. "My stubborn, little _Har_ley. I sai-_duh…_it's time…to go…to sleep." _

_My teeth clenched and I scooted away from him, closer to my mother. "I'm fine, Josh."_

"_Nooo, no, no…no, _no._ That's, uh, not good…'nough." _

_I narrowed my eyes at him. "Nothing ever is, _Josh_," I spat his name. _

_He giggled now, arms unfolding from behind his back. But I wasn't looking at him anymore. "I, uh…ya don't…need to…worry. I'm not goin' anywhere…right…here. And, this won't hurt…much." _

_Something long and silver glinted out of the corner of my eye. Instinctively, my hand shot out and smacked his approaching arm away. It clattered to the floor with a hiss. The syringe exploded, yellow fluid seeping onto the checkered tiles. _

"_So the night owl's got…bat-like reflexes, huh?" _

"_What the hell are you trying to do to me?" I jeered. "Your _dog_ is up to date on her rabies shots, thank you very damn much." _

_He stared at me for a moment blankly. Then his face broke out into that stupid grin. "Sure, sure. You, uh, thirsty for more?" _

"_No. I'm f—" I yawned loudly. "Fine." Where the crap had _that_ come from?_

_He ticked off his fingers, giggling. "Freaked-out, insecure, nervous, emotional." _

"_What?" _

"_That's what it…oh, never mind. Won't make much…of a, uh, difference. In a minute." _

_I just stared back at him for a moment. I blinked, then swiveled away from him. "You know, they have places for people like you." Nice padded walls. Little white jackets that make you hug yourself. People who are on his level of…genius. _

"_My place? Right here. It's _here._" _

_I yawned again, vision dulling and my head spinning. I stood up suddenly to go grab some more caffeine, when the floor seemed to disappear out from underneath me. My hands flailed for support but found nothing. _

_Until Josh caught me easily in his arms. _

_He carried me over to the visitor's couch, stretching me out before depositing a pillow on his lap and settling my head on it. I glared up at him through one eye. _

"_Ya…know, if I didn't know…any…better," I slurred. I was sure by now my mouth hated me for making it move. "I'd say…you planned…" _

"_As much as I love shiny things, ha, needles…are queasy little misfits. But, uh, backups are my specialty." _

_His cool hand palmed my cheek, fingers lightly stroking my neck and beneath the jaw line. I shuddered—but it was for an entirely different reason than being cold. Josh bent over, pressing his lips firmly to my forehead. He kept them there for a minute or two, just breathing me in. I couldn't pull away. _

"_Ya wanna, uh, know somethin', _Lee_?" _

"_Mmfjeidjllllle…" I meant…translation: Yes, Josh Kerit, I would like to know something. _

"_The hospi-_tal_ got a…phone call today." _

"………_.." Translation number two: Oh, how interesting. Do please tell me more! _

"_Dear…ol'…drunken…Dad's coming." _

_And my mind caved. _

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**a/n: sorry if it's a little short! I've been dorm shopping like crazy, and I think it should be labeled as a newfound addiction! wow-eee. many many reviews! and…that's déjà vu. I said that before. didn't i? …..point is this: I LOVE sporks. I mean…never mind. Uhh keep up the reading, peeps, and imma keep up the chappies! and…I just spent the last hour of my life making a Joker ringtone…no, of course I'm not obsessed. you're all just jealous! jealous I say!! ******


	15. Chapter 15

a/n: so…call me a two-year-old, but I went out with friends, and we had…flour/balloon/shaving cream fights

**a/n: so…sorry for the slow update. my room is littered with boxes—like, I literally sat in a box to type this chappie. haha, whoa, so it seems I have a score of Jer haters! but chill guys, lol we got a looooooong way to go (I hope) before you make up your minds. aaaand as for…ze ringtone: go to Limewire, download "dark knight trailer 3"…but make sure it has sound on it…then download Audacity, and just…chop it up into mp3? once it's saved as a file, use ! I totally grabbed 2 TDK posters today too…I blame all of you for feeding my addiction. enjoyyyy**

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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Lee headed straight for Jeremy's car.

She'd seen it enough times through the hospital window to recognize the banged-up, black truck.

And just as she'd thought, like a typical moronic male, he'd left his keys in the ignition, probably hoping his plan wouldn't backfire, that he could save the damsel in distress and make a quick getaway to his island paradise. Yeah. Keep dreaming, Jeremy Barlow.

The engine roared in her ears, and she cranked up the radio. Anything to block out that inevitable gunshot. Lee swiveled her head back, one last time, to glance at what she was leaving behind.

_Josh is in there, you idiot. _

She huffed. _I know. _

_So you're leaving because…?_

Lee's eyes slid closed, forehead slamming against the steering wheel. _Because I have my priorities. And he has his. We chose our paths a long time ago. And they just…don't…cross._

_They obviously did a few days ago. _

_He's not my responsibility anymore. _

_Ah. But you're _his.

Her hand fought for the clutch, shifting it into drive. _It's too late now. _

_Never too late, hun. _

Lee glared into the rearview mirror. _It was too late the moment he had me handcuffed to that damn desk._ The car violently fishtailed out of the gas station parking lot, back onto the deserted country road.

And hardly five minutes had passed before she'd realized Jeremy's mistake, the car slowing, chugging actually.

The dumbass had forgotten to fill up the tank.

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**So Jackass-in-the-Box wasn't moving. **

**And it even **_**sickened**_** me that he was…leaning back into me, letting **_**me**_** support him. I should've just thrown him on the ground and finished this once and for all. But he was wheezing laughter, hissing Lee's name with every breath. **

**Maybe she **_**was**_** his oxygen. And he was her meth. **

**So what? **

**What did I care? **

**I frowned, unceremoniously dropping the bastard on the floor. He just collapsed in a giggling heap. I aimed the gun at him, lifting, then lowering, then lifting again. **

"**Can't, ah, **_**decide**_**…which is **_**worse**_**?" **

"**Shut up, clown." **

"**Because, **_**surely, **_**Shirley, it's a, uh, tough choice. Ya have, hmm, on the one han-**_**duh…my**_** Harley…who could des-**_**pise**_** you for-ev-**_**er, **_**wallowing in that, uh, depression of hers…of who she los-**_**t**_**, all thanks to dear, Mista Low Bar. Orrr**_**rrrr**_**," he purred, rolling his eyes up to his brows and licking his lips. "You, ah, le-**_**t**_**. Me. G-**_**o**_**." **

"**Kiss my ass." **

"**Oh, ho, **_**ho, **_**I mean, **_**really **_**convincing offer there, ah, Jer-Bear, but, hmm…I think Lee'd be a little, **_**ha**_**, jealous," he crooned. I rammed the butt of the gun against his head. The neck snapped in a gut-wrenching crack, but he just chuckled darkly, turning those black eyes back on me. "But, **_**seriously, **_**can I, ah, be **_**serious**_** with you, since you're so, ha…**_**keen**_**…on being Frank." **

**The moron giggled at his stupid joke before pulling himself up and back on his elbows. I glared at him, re-aiming. "I don't want to hear what you have to say." **

"'**Course ya don't. 'Cause I'm **_**righ-**_**t." **

"**The hell you are." I glanced back over my shoulder. The gas station manager pulled away from the corner like some guiltily caught Peeping Tom. Apparently chaos had run its course. Fear was gone. Just curiosity. **

**Lee. **

**Where **_**was**_** she? **

**I'd told that damn girl to wait for me, hadn't I? What **_**was**_** it with women?! **

"**They're…**_**alllllllll**_**…the same," faggot-boy mirrored my thoughts. I refocused my attention back on him, fingers just **_**itching**_** to pull at that trigger. And maybe I should have. **

**He smacked his lips proudly and carried on. "'Cep-**_**t**__**her.**_**" **

"**Harley," I clarified for him. **

**That shitty grin broke all over his face. "Know **_**why**_**?" **

"**Why what?" **

**He exhaled loudly, frustrated. "Know **_**why**_** my Har**_**ley's**_** so damn different from **_**ev-er-y-one **_**else?" **

**I just glared at him but didn't stop him. **

"'**Cause I," he paused to choke out a laugh, "**_**made**_**…her…" **

**My eyes trailed off to his scars. **

"…**like **_**tha-**_**t." **

**I didn't blink. "No one becomes **_**like that**_**—so loyal or whatever bullshit it is—by force." **

**And his grin turned feral. "**_**Ex-**_**actly." **

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"_Is this even edible?!" I shrieked at Josh, pointing a fork hesitatingly at a mash of crushed potatoes and little…pebbles…sprinkled all over. _

"_Hmmm, I'm not quite sure…" _

_I glared up at him, leaning back while he moved in to hover. "I mean, seriously. Who do you think you are? Granny Smith?" _

"_I _do_ make a m-_ean_ lean cookie machine." _

_One smooth brow rose up in question. "Sure you do. What do you use? Sugar, spice, and everything nice?" I laughed distractedly, glancing out the window for the 36,296__th__ time in the past…three minutes? _

"_Do I look like a, uh, Power Puff G-_irl_ to you?" _

_My eyes swerved back to my mother—still unconscious. "Sure." _

_He coughed loudly. And quite suddenly. One of those pay-attention-to-me-and-only-me-or-there-will-be-hell-to-pay coughs. I turned my gaze on him, but in the process, my eyes raked over the open door and the bastard that stood in its opening. He, in turn, was only looking at my mother. _

_Dad tripped inside, heading straight for her coma-ridden body. _

_I growled and pushed my way in between them. "Do the words 'restraining' and 'order' mean _nothing_ to you, asshole?" _

_Josh stayed on the couch, tense and crouched forward, apparently ready to fight if there was need. _

_But my hands were shaking. I was grappling for one last shred of sanity. And here _he_ was, filing it down to its last grain. Dad tried to side-step me, to get closer to my mom, but I mirrored his movements. _

"_Get out of my way," he rumbled, finally letting his bloodshot eyes rest on mine. He'd changed so much—like he'd aged in the past day. Gray was everywhere, and thick lines were etched into his face. I wanted…I wanted to carve _more_ into him. And all I could see was Josh's face in my head, nodding and grinning like he was pleased with me for thinking such a shitty thing. But I wanted it. So. Damn. Bad. Like he knew I would. _

"_You get out of _mine_." _

_He bellowed. "She's _my_ wife!!"_

"_And she's _my_ mom!" _

_Dad's face fell innocently…an act, like everything else. "Harleen, hun," he moved to set his hands on my shoulders. And I was going to let him. _

_Josh's fist came out of nowhere, forcing my Dad to the ground. "Don't. You. _Ever._ Touch her. Again." He pulled me roughly into his chest. And I just buried myself against him, letting him swallow me up in his arms. He must've glared or threatened over my shoulder, because the door slammed and my father was gone. _

_He looked down at me, stroking my hair. _

"_Well, ah…at least that was a…quickie." _

"_I'm…thanks…" I mumbled between sobs. _

_And he just held me. _

_Even as I sobbed harder, _much_ harder…for an entirely different reason. The pieces of my heart shattered, and Josh just stood there, bracing himself against me, the girl, who was dying all over again. _

_A long, solitary, held tone. _

_Flat line. _

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**a/n: oh gosh. my brain is fried. have you ever tried to go through drawers and mountains of memories all in one day? yeah…kills the heart. my internet access will be down until Wednesday…but I have plenty of free time before then to write, so expect an update then (I hope). once things settle down, we'll be back on schedule, so I apologize for any delays. please keep this REVIEW whore on her toes. cheer me up. I need it. oh, and some shoutouts to you other-country-edly peeps: Canada, UK, Australiaaaaaa, and Ireland. ello!!**


	16. Chapter 16

a/n: 22 minutes, 3

**a/n: 22 minutes, 3.47 seconds, 8.38 milliseconds on campus…and I'm already homesick. how sucky is that bs?? on the plus side, my roommate rocks. we dig all the same kewl-ness. but these white walls are getting to me OO wonder if I could paint them…wait, no…being in a small room with NO AC would practically beg for death by fumes…anyway. I hope you guys enjoy this. don't own Joker. or Lee's name. but everything else is mine, as is dialogue and characterization OF dialogue. hugs&kisses for review-ees. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"**So, ah…what's u-**_**p**_**, Doc? You gonna be **_**man**_** about it…or, uh, shall I call old Tubs out there in on the job. May**_**be**_** if he could, ha, **_**squeeze**_** his…chubs-a-nub 'pendages on that…there…tri-**_**gg­-**_**er," he smacked his lips loudly, letting them pop like some boredom-ridden three-year-old. **

**Disgusted, I flung him back to the ground, running a shaky hand through my hair. "What do you want?" **

"**A **_**loaded**_** ques-**_**tion.**_** But I, ah, Jer-e-my, **_**bear with me. **_**What is it **_**you**_** wan-**_**t**_**?" **

**I watched him slick that serpent tongue out and around as he scooted back against the wall, draping those long arms over his knees. He just watched me through blackened slits, those scarred cheeks popping in and out. He wriggled his tongue against them, sniffing at the air and running a hand through his grimy hair. And it's like some rock plummeted in my stomach. **

**Why the hell was I trying to compete with **_**that**_**?? Any **_**normal**_** human being would choose me over that ass-lipped freak. But I kept forgetting…Lee wasn't normal. She had this…restrained savagery about her, just under her scarred surface, rigged by the past that I'd never know. A past that was full of **_**him**_**. **

"**Is it…uh, **_**Lee-sters?**_**" He finished the last bit without sound, just mouthing her name like it was some huge secret or unspeakable curse. He giggled. "Do ya want **_**her**_**?" He looked to his right, then left, then back on me. "What the **_**hell**_** would ya want **_**her**_** f-**_**or**_**?" **

"**I don't." **

"**Liar, **_**liar.**_** Ass on fire." **

"**I just want her away from you." I swallowed hard, shutting my eyes and letting my guard down. **

"**What, 'cause you thin-**_**k**_** she'll mir-**_**aculously**_**," he waved his hands in circles, "change back to whoever she was be**_**fore**_** me? That she'll **_**want you back**_**?" The harebrained, foam-raving lunatic coughed back a laugh. "I got news for ya. Bitches like **_**her**_**? Ya have to train 'em from birth. Can't exactly, uh, just take a, ah, leap of faith in them." **

**My head was pounding at his vulgar bluntness. At his truth. "So what're you trying to say? It's not like you were there that long." **

"**I was, ah…**_**there…**_**early 'nough. When it all sho-**_**t **_**to h-**_**ell**_** for her. See, when **_**ba-**_**duh things happen to goo-**_**duh**_** people…they turn to the **_**bad**_ **people," his pitch rose, nasal and whiny. "Turn to 'em for, ah, all the **_**old…familiar…places.**_** They'll do…**_**anything**_** so long as ya feed 'em, pet 'em. They'll **_**lust**_** for your attention. Like some…some **_**addict.**_** And, well, **_**Harley**_**? Let's just, ha, **_**say**_** she's gonna need one **_**hell**_** of a therapist after **_**I'm**_** finished with her." **

"**I beg to differ," I snapped, taking a few threatening steps towards him. He just rose his hands in mock surrender, eyebrows rising high. **

"**Oooooh, he's a **_**gambler.**_** Now **_**there's**_** a guy who knows how to play." **

**And I took the final plunge. Anything to get this bastard out of her life…and me into it. I hoped. **

**I sucked in a shaky breath, hands instinctively tightening on the gun. "How much do you want for her?" **

**He screwed his eyes up at his forehead, crossing them like some air-deprived retard. It was hard to believe **_**this**_** catastrophe was the reason for Lee…for **_**everything**_** about her. I hated him all the more for it. **

"**She's, ah, **_**not…**_**for sale." **

"**How. Much?" **

**He clucked his tongue for a few minutes. He suddenly cocked his head to the side, grinning. "One billion." **

**I groaned. **

**His eyes narrowed. "Do ya want her?" **

**I nodded. **

"**Then one billion." **

**My mouth was thick with ash. "Give…give me some time…"**

**And the clown exploded in laughter. "Oh, **_**oh, HA!**_** Hee, oh, **_**ha, ho, **_**hum. Oh, wow-**_**ee.**_** You…urbane **_**animals**_** and your **_**green.**_** No, no, no. I don't **_**want**_** your money. I want…I…want…" **

**And, as shitty as I'd feel about it in the morning, I **_**listened.**_

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"_And from dust to dust…"_

_I've never been one for praying. But the second that damn preacher opened his mouth, I _prayed_ he'd shut it and never open it again. I glared at him over the casket, the ground ridden with green mats and bars holding the coffin up. It was covered in roses. _

_And I sat alone. _

_My father never showed. But I guess I shouldn't have expected him to. A lifetime of disappointments tends to do that to a daughter. _

_There weren't, like, a million people there, like you see in the movies—all flocking the graveyard with black umbrellas as the sky pours out their emotions. It was actually a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. I guess if I had to choose a day to go, it'd be now. _

_No one came to shake my hand or offer condolences either. People came and went as unpredictable as death. Some people would catch my eye and nod. I'd just screw up my face into what I'd _hoped_ was a smile. But, the way they got all freaked after it, I'm sure it nowhere closely even _resembled_ a grin. And she wasn't buried out in the open, like you read about in the books. Mom would forever rest under a canopy of evergreen trees, herding around her tombstone. It was completely hidden from the rest of…deceased…civilization. Isolated. Much like how it had always been. _

_As the greased wood and crimson petals disappeared beneath the world forever, I broke down. And even though no one was there to witness it, I ran. I _hate_ crying. I always did. Like some weakness, some part of me I don't want to share with anyone else. _

_So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when _he_ turned up to steal away that last bit of me I had left. _

_I lost my heels at a grave I'd tripped over. I'd ripped them off and chucked them at the stone. It didn't cave like I'd wanted, so I just tore off to the trees, swerving through them. I never saw him leaning against that old willow. Just his arm, shooting out to wrap around my waist and pull me into him. _

_I screamed. _

_He listened. _

_I kicked. _

_He held. _

_I cried. _

_He tasted my tears. _

_I died. _

_He killed me. _

_I lost everything. _

_He took it from me, and changed _everything.

_Josh Kerit had, within a few short weeks, become my best friend, my comforter, my shoulder, my murderer, and my master. _

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Lee figured she would die in that car of suffocation or heat exhaustion before she _dared_ stepped one damn foot out of that car towards that bloody gas station.

So, as naturally as Josh dealt with the Fates, Destiny decided to take its own turn on Lee. And she should have none it the second those flashing red and blue lights lit up outside her car.

She forgot the hazard lights.

And this wasn't _her_ car.

Shit.

A sharp finger rapped on her window. She jumped, then idly rolled down the window. Her hands flew back to the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. Maybe he was just checking on her, the whole male testosterone Knight in Shining Armor mode kicking in again. Yeah. That's it.

_No. It's not. Stupid. _

"License and registration, please."

She leaned over weakly and flipped open the glove department. Her fingers dug around until she pulled out the registration document. And then froze. Her purse was in her car, back at the gas station. With Josh. And the real owner of this stupid, beat-up truck.

Damn. It.

The officer, hidden behind reflective sunglasses, a hat, and his black uniform. The badge nearly blinded Lee, and he plucked the certificate from her fingertips. He glanced quickly.

"I don't suppose your name matches that of one Jeremy T. Barlow?" He tilted his head down to glare at her over the rim of his glasses.

Lee laughed shakily.

"License?"

"I, uh," she swallowed back the burning bile. "Don't have it."

And the officer grinned madly, like some spider at a helpless fly caught in the web. And Lee was in one _hell_ of a sticky situation. "Course you don't. My. Lucky. Day." He pushed the glasses back up on the bridge of his nose. "Can you step out of the car, please, ma'am?"

She did. He shoved her, chest forward, against the side of the car, his hands sliding up and down her body—but it wasn't just frisking, there was something else in it that made Lee cringe. She knew that if Josh was there, he wouldn't have thought twice about killing the bastard. "Look, Sir, this is just my friend's car. He's…he's…" she trailed off. If she told him where Jeremy was, no doubt he'd find Josh. And then they'd all be in a shitload of trouble.

Crap.

"He's what? Letting you _borrow_ it? Sure thing. We'll just check about that back at the station. You could be there for a while, you know."

A loud whistle broke through the air. The cop ignored it, but Lee's head shot up. Her eyes chased down the road, back towards the station.

There, in the middle of the road, stood Joker.

Lee struggled against the officer's hold, just as his hands slid around her waist and up. He released her and slammed Lee against the car again, this time stepping back to admire his work. But all Lee could see, aside from creeping darkness at the edges of her vision, was Josh, standing there, a hundred feet away.

And from what she _could_ see…he was definitely…not…smiling.

The officer—Officer Davis from what she'd glimpsed of his blinding badge—roughly pushed Lee inside the car after handcuffing her to the door. Lee twisted around awkwardly in the seat. Just watching Josh watch her.

And as the police car's engine rumbled to life and drove off, she watched as Joker withdrew a small card, frighteningly similar to Christopher's photograph.

His long, nimble fingers peeled the paper in two, then four, then letting them flutter to the ground. Lee stared. And as they got farther and farther away, all she could see were those torn, broken pieces of their last connection.

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**a/n: I'M OFFICIALLY MOVED IN!! this is so weird…again, it's Wednesday, as promised, with an update. I LOVE you guys to death!! your reviews make me giggle ******** my roommate was actually giving me a weird look for it too. I've got TDK posters littering our room—she hasn't even SEEN the movie yet…grumble grumble… anyway, I wasn't even sure I'd get internet connection, so you people had better be darn happy! college life is craaaaaaaaazy. I promise to update more often (assuming classes don't drown out my life, but you guys are priority, as sick as that sounds haha). so, I have to tell you guys: I was serenaded by a football player today at lunch?! I'm like…what the hell?? college rox my sox off. sooooo keep reviewing peeps, and I shall keep writing. thank you SO much for suggestions and critiques too…even though sometimes I don't like 'em, they do help. I'll be clueing in more on the present POV. honestly, I was a lil' wary on ideas, but they're flooding with inspiration now. sorry this is a long note, my gosh. REVIEW!!**


	17. Chapter 17

The bars slid shut in Lee's face

**a/n: lemme start by saying…what the HELL?! there's a freakin' novelization for TDK?! where and how can I get it?? mmkay, and a lil' side note, comin from the review whore side…I LOVE that people are adding my story, and authorization to their favs…but it seriously would be amazing if some of ya could review too? I know, I know…but it takes like 5 seconds, and it seriously keeps me writing. anyway, oh, and GUESS WHAT happens not even 6 days of being here?? both my roomie and I sleep through our alarms TT great start, huh? and to top it all off, as some stupid activity, I was forced to lock arms, back to back, with a football player, whom I could barely get my arms around. I mean really…I hate football players. let's just say…I took the longest shower of my life that night haha. enjoy. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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The bars slid shut in Lee's face. Her wrists were burning from the incapacitating metal, digging in with its iron fire. She finally settled on the rough, holey cot, keeping her bloodshot eyes trained on Officer Davis. He settled in at his desk which faced her, conveniently enough.

He stared.

She stared.

He grinned.

She frowned.

"So, does a beautiful thing like you have a name? 'Cause a database search would be _so_ much easier if I just…had a name…to go with that face."

Lee licked her lips. "Right. And it's my _top_ priority right now to please the shit out of you. Go to hell."

Davis just cocked his head to the side, ridiculously curious. "Matthew Davis."

"Screw you, Matthew."

His eyes narrowed. "I wouldn't say we're on a first name basis here just yet, sweetie. Now. Wanna tell me where you got that car?"

Lee's eyes traveled down to her crimson wrists. "I told you. I borrowed—"

"Lie."

She glared up at him. "I'm not. He was—"

"Just going for a leak? And you decided to go for a _drive_? Yeah. _Really_ convincing. Might want to work on that."

Lee snapped her mouth shut. Giving him a final glare, she rolled over, back to him, and chose to glare at the wall instead.

"Hey, sugar. Just tell the honest-to-God truth. Ever heard that 'the truth shall set you free?'"

"'Silence is _golden_,'" she shot back, inching closer to the wall. She tucked her head in against it, some poor make-shift substitute for Josh's shoulder, but it would have to do…if she just squeezed her eyes closed enough…

"Hey."

Lee bit her lip. Hard.

"_Hey. _I'm _talking_ to you."

She heard his chair scoot back loudly. His boots stomped toward her cell door.

"_Look. At. Me._"

She didn't.

And before Lee knew it, she was up in the air, and against the bars, the iron digging into her back. Her mouth flooded with a wet, metallic taste. Blood. She coughed on it, fingers clinging to the wrist that held her up. Her legs dangled uselessly. Her empty stomach was catching up with her, and she was just too _tired_ to do anything about Matthew. He stared up at her with a sick curiosity, eyes fixed on her bloody lips. He leaned in, whispering in her ear.

"I'm gonna break you."

Lee just sputtered, eyes rolling into the back of her head, which was pounding with insistent pain. One at a time, her hands collapsed to her sides.

"You hear me? I said…I'm gonna…_break…_you. And you'll go _willingly._ Yes, you _damn_ will."

"What the _hell _is GOING ON HERE?!"

Metal grated on metal, and Lee was falling. Someone caught her, but there was a dull thud somewhere to her right. Matthew? She couldn't see. Her eyes wouldn't open. She was so _thirsty_.

Someone was crying.

"Ssshhh, Lee, shh, it's o-_kay_. It'll be okay. I'm here. Nothing's going to happen. Lee?"

Oh. It was _her._

He shook her more forcefully. "Lee? Come on, Lee. Snap out of it. Stay with me."

Her eyes fluttered open. They swirled around the room, but it wasn't the face she wanted to see. He wasn't here. "Josh?" Then she yelped, wrists jostled. The cuffs were still plastered to her arms. They were wet and sticky.

"Shit. _Lee._" Something cool pressed against her lips, and she opened them gladly. _Water._ It slid down her throat smoothly, but she choked and gagged when the blood went down. She kept swallowing, hoarding the water. "Whoa, easy there."

When the cup was empty, Lee leaned back, licking her lips lazily.

"You could go to jail for this, you sick bastard."

But Matthew just groaned back, and Lee had a feeling he was quite painfully incapacitated for the moment. She shut her eyes, swallowing back more blood. "Josh. Josh, I don't feel so…great…"

Jeremy's voice grated in her ear. "You don't look it either. Come on. Ups," he hoisted her into his arms, grunting, "a daisy."

Lee felt him walk several paces swiftly, before halting at the sound of an ominous _click!_ Jeremy swirled around. Lee opened her eyes.

Matthew was panting against the cell door, gun cocked, aiming straight for Lee's head. And although his entire body seemed to be shaking, the barrel remained level with his target.

"Put your gun down, officer," Jeremy ordered.

"Shut the hell up, and put my damn prisoner back in her cage!" he roared back, taking a somewhat-confident step towards them.

Jeremy narrowed his eyes. "The _hell_ I will." Lee felt herself going down, and she watched with disheartened amusement as Jeremy launched himself at Matthew, who collapsed easily under his strength. Jeremy whipped off Matthew's handcuffs and slapped them on him, pulling back and giving him a hard kick for measure.

He carried Lee to the car swiftly. When she was safely strapped in, he disappeared, reappearing moments later dragging a sorry-ass-looking Matthew, who was grumbling every word in the book.

Lee quirked a brow lazily, trying to focus in on the two, who were rapidly blurring into one.

Jeremy grunted. "If we leave him, he'll call in back up."

"So naturally, we let the nice man hitch a ride with us," she drawled sarcastically.

Eyes narrowed sharply. "Are you suggesting I _get rid_ of him?"

Lee's eyes widened, mouth gaping. "Jeremy, I wasn't—"

"You're no better than _him._" The door slammed, and they were off, Matthew practically shouting expletives in Lee's ears. He leaned forward a few times to grab her, but Jeremy would conveniently swerve the car every time, sending the officer tumbling over into the floor.

Jeremy's foul mood spread quickly. Lee shoved herself against the window, pressing her cheek and forehead against the cool glass. She watched those yellow, dotted lines fly by beneath them, watching the car eat them up and remind her of every inch of distance being put between her and Josh. _Josh._ Joker. Josh. _Joker._

Lee's eyes swelled up. He was every much a part of her, as she was of him. So, then, if _she _didn't know who _he_ was, how could she possibly understand him? Lee sighed, slamming her head against the glass again. This…_thing_—whatever it was she and Josh had, if anything—was going to either kill or save her.

"It's okay, Lee," Jeremy insisted quietly. She looked up to catch his eyes on her before he refocused on the road. "Soon. It'll all be over soon."

Her brows furrowed. "I don't—"

"Lee. It's o-_kay._"

She frowned. "Jeremy," she chewed out. "Where are we going? What's going on?"

"We're gonna fix this. End this. _Now._"

"But…it's…nothing's wrong," she lied. And she knew he knew.

"Nothing's wrong my _ass_, Lee. What? You don't think he won't _follow_ us?! That he'll just let you go without some stupid second thought? Look, that dude…I _know_ those kinds of dudes. They'll stop at nothing—_nothing_, Lee—until they get exactly. What. They. Want."

"Yeah?" she croaked weakly. "Well, _wiseass_, why don't you tell me _exactly_ what he wants."

His jaw locked. A vein in his temple was throbbing. "You don't understand."

"Of _course_ I understand," she spat. "You're pissed off that you can't match up to whatever it is he has that you don't. You're just—"

"_God_, Lee. Would you _listen_ to yourself?! You're like some hypnotized little girl, babbling on about something that _doesn't exist._ You get that? _You two don't exist._ Not in this world. You never can. It's like two opposite magnets—they just don't stick, okay? So don't try to tell me what I feel about this shitload of crap. Because I do. I very damn well do." He ran a shaky hand through his hair, staring tiredly out the window.

Lee glared at him, eyes burning. She could feel those traitorous tears building up, pressing and pricking painfully. She blinked once, wiped them away, then curled up against the door again. He was wrong. Jeremy Barlow _had_ to be wrong.

And, perfect as ever, Matthew coughed loudly from the back.

"Can we, uh, stop?"

"No."

"Unless you want me to piss all over your car, I suggest—"

Lee swallowed thickly. "Pull the car over, Jer."

He turned his burning gaze on her, snorting in disgust. "No, _Lee-sters._"

A chill chased up her spine. "Pull the damn car over, _now_, Jeremy."

"You want out? Fine. Get out." He didn't slow. But the locks popped up audibly, and Lee nearly winced at its grating finality.

He waited.

No one said a word.

"Yeah. Didn't think so."

Matthew growled. "You know, your ass is gonna be in hot water, for future reference."

"I don't give a damn."

And Matthew laughed icily.

"You _will_ give a damn when you find out how worse off you'll be with _real_ cops."

But they both ignored his double meaning. Ignorance is bliss, _right?_

"Jeremy, where are we going?"

His voice was smooth. "Chattanooga."

Lee's heart skipped a beat. "Why?"

"Your son. We've got to pick up Christopher. Remember?"

She swallowed back the lump in her throat, eyes glazing over.

"I remember. I remember never telling you I had a son."

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**a/n: oh gosh. so I know it's not extremely long, and no other POV's but I had to get it out. and be thankful—I finished this up, as priority, right before a looooooong and well-deserved nap. college life—even though we're still in orientation—is CRAZY. I've made like 28963986 friends (I wish). But you're right, time totally vanished, and I hardly have time to do anything ******** so, again, I apologize. this story is definitely continuing, but I'm gonna need more ENCOURAGEMENT if I'm gonna keep updating in a timely manner. thanks guys. peace&love.**


	18. Chapter 18

It was raining

**a/n: God, so those get-to-know-every-450****th****-face-on-campus-in-4-days-bullshit is OVER!! imma throw confetti and EAT it I'm so happy. and sadly, there are hardly cute football players :'( in my opinion, they must have personality with those looks and…let's just say, charisma is a big fat lacking thing on their part. annnnnd oh gosh, I came out of the shower to witness, no kidding, about 8 football players following ONE GIRL. I was sliding all over their drool to get back to my room. anyway, thanks as always for the encouragement ******** we got some more, ah, Joker in this one. much much more to quench our clown-er-ific thirsts. again, thanks SO MUCH for reviewing guys. it's like…if this was my job, that would be my payroll. enjoyyyyy. oh, and as always, don't own Joker. sad day. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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_It was raining. _

_I loved the rain after that day. That day that everything changed, and the cards tipped and dealt in _his_ favor. He'd caught me by my strings, and it's like I lived and breathed Josh Kerit. _

_I hated it more than you can imagine. _

_So, naturally…I ran. _

_I don't know for how long, or where to, but I did. I didn't bring anything with me except a few twenties, just to hold me over until I could get settled anywhere else. A day or two passed before my lead feet finally traipsed up the path to a bus station. Huge vehicles loomed over me, and I felt so small. I sucked in a deep breath, marched up, and paid the way for moving on. _

_Did you know it costs 7.99 to let go? _

_Most people gathered under the huge awnings with umbrellas, shuffling impatiently as they waited for our bus. I just sat on the bench, directly in the storm's warzone. _

_But, as freezing as it was, I never felt it. _

_And, as lonely as I was, I felt _him.

_I glanced over both shoulders, stiffening. But he wasn't there. Thank God. Just my stupid imagination…and my stupid heart hoping it was true. _

_I shrugged further into my sweatshirt, not even bothering with the hood. There was a loud squeal as the bus pulled in. I watched it as panic settled in. This was for real. I was _really_ doing this. I was _really_ leaving him. I was _really_ escaping. _

_And I was _really_ going to be dead for this. _

_I shouldered my fear, staggered my regret, and climbed into the bus with my ticket. The driver collected it, and I passed through quickly, diving into the very back window seat. I let my cheek fall against the window, watching the rain fall down the glass, mirroring my emotions. My finger followed one, then two, then three drops. _

_I didn't want to do this. _

_I couldn't. _

_But I _had_ to. _

_You see, I'd seen myself through _his_ eyes—but it wasn't one of those eye-opening, awe-inspiring visions. More like…what he was turning me into, the plans he had for me, his little trinket, and what _fun_ we would have. I wasn't mine, I was his. I wasn't a person, I was property. He didn't see me, he never had and he never would. He only saw how 'great' I could become under his…_guidance.

_His MVP._

_His best card. _

_Well…I'd rot in hell before I'd let him turn me into some play, dress-up doll. I'd be _damned_ if I'd let him brush my hair, pick out my outfits, and make me blush crimson with his stupid, intoxicating, addicting presence. _

_I sighed. _

_I was in way over my head. _

_The bus driver's voice crackled over the speakers, announcing departure. I watched as the gravel beneath us gave way to thick pavement. We passed my neighborhood. I saw it flutter by without a care in the world. I'd at least learned _that_ from him. Dad was probably inside now, as late as it was, sprawled out on the couch with a bottle in each hand. He'd drink himself to death before I'd ever get my hands on him. _

_Fate has a funny way of working things out. _

_Fate? _

_No. Screw Fate. Fate came in the form of Josh. _

_And when it came to _funny_, Josh Kerit took to it like a fish out of water. Now, see, you're sitting there thinking…well that means he absolutely sucks when it comes to a sense of humor. But, I'm physical, living proof to tell you that…Josh? His source of 'funny' derives from pain. _

_He's the kind of guy that, oh, I don't know, could probably overtake an entire city with one little threat, and still laugh after it burnt to ashes. _

_Except me. _

_He wouldn't watch me die. _

_He'd burn me. _

_And burn me until I was dangling by a thread. _

_There was a sudden lurch as the bus came to a crashing halt, metal grinding on metal as the bus twisted and jerked to a halt. My heart caught in my throat. We'd hit something…or something had hit us. _

_Josh. _

_No. No, no, no, _no, NO!

_He couldn't have…he wouldn't have…_

_My God. Oh my God. No, no, this wasn't good. How had he…? _

_There was smoke. Smoke was _everywhere._ I couldn't breathe. Something was on fire. But it wasn't our bus. _

_I stood up hastily in my seat and crossed the aisle, eyes flitting out the window. A car was crunched against the side of the bus, small flames licking at its engine and edging closer to the gas pipe. Paint was scraped in lightning bolts along the sides and front from the wreckage. People were screaming, but all I could hear was my heart thudding loudly in my ears, veins acute and burning. _

_It was my father's car. _

_I screamed. _

_And I didn't stop screaming. Even when Josh climbed out of the driver's side, with hardly a scratch, and docked the bus. He locked gazes with mine and speedily stalked down the aisle, head slightly bowed, eyes hooded. His fists were clenched at his sides. One came up and unsteadily smoothed back his hair, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he came at me violently and slammed me back into my seat. _

_Stars. _

_All I saw was stars. _

_It took me a moment to realize he was growling in my ear, holding my jaw in his tight, painful fingers as he climbed on top of me, straddling my waist. _

"_Ya know, _girl-_y, you're not a hard bitch to find when you, ah, don't _want_ to be found." He swallowed loudly, pulling back to glare into my eyes. I stared past him. He didn't like that. _

_My head connected with the arm wrest. Vision dimming, I gasped and writhed. "I…I'm…no…Dad…"_

"_Daddy's A-O-K. But," he tsked, "I can't say the same for _you. _Now. Where was Lee off to in such a hurry? Grandma's house, maybe?" _

"_N-no." I hated how weak I sounded, so I blamed it on the head injury. And not my cowardice. _

"_Then," he chuckled. "Was my Harley Quinzel craving a bus ride?" _

_I nodded dumbly. _

_Bad idea. _

_He snapped, chest rumbling. "All the way to fucking Georgia?!" _

_I glanced around again. No one was on the bus anymore. Help wasn't coming for me. _

"_Look at me when I'm _talking to you_!!" he screamed, fingers mangling horribly into my arms. So I did. _

_He sighed, patting my face lightly. _

"_There's a good g-_irl._ Now. Tell me. Nicely. Where were you going?" _

"_Nowhere." _

"_And this, ah, '_nowhere'_…is it nearby, perhaps?" He licked his lips. I wanted to bite his tongue off, rip his lips wide open and bury him in a closed casket. _

_At that moment…I wished Josh Kerit was dead. _

"_No. It's…it's not." _

"_You were leaving me, weren't ya, _Lee_?" He was grinning now. _

_I forced a smile, and managed a shrug. _

_His smirk grew tenfold. My mind was screaming 'DANGER!' but I paid it no heed…as usual…go figure. "That's right. But, ah, Lee? If you _ever_ try and run from me…again…you won't, ha, get. Very. Damn. Far." _

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The car was quiet, even when they pulled slowly into the apartment complex. Lee's arms were folded tightly across her abdomen. She glared out the window, ignoring Jeremy's soft sighs and stupid pleas. And the second the car shifted into park, she was out the door, running the opposite direction of the building. Directly into traffic.

An arm snapped out and jerked her to the sidewalk just as a car flew by, narrowly missing her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Are you _crazy_?" Jeremy demanded, gripping her upper arms.

Lee set her jaw. "Maybe I am."

He narrowed his eyes, guiding her away from the curb and back towards the looming building. "Well, snap out of it, Lee. You can't really afford to be like this now. Your kid…" but he trailed off as her eyes flashed with something unrecognizable and frightening.

But she shoved it back down within a moment. Jeremy looked from her to the car and back again. He rolled his eyes, affronted with some decision, and towed her around the corner of the building, out of sight of the car. He'd locked the doors. Matthew wasn't going anywhere.

He released her gently, hand twisting around to rub the back of his neck. He stared awkwardly at the ground. "Look, Lee…"

"Save it. I don't want to hear it."

Jeremy frowned, meeting her gaze this time. "Let me finish, will you?" He sighed, staring down again to kick at the gravel. "I'm sorry."

"For…?" she prompted angrily.

"For being such an ass."

"Got that right."

Jeremy huffed. "Give a guy some time, okay? Here's the thing: I _really_ care for you, Lee. And I honest to God don't know why. But that's the way it's rolling. And…and to see _him_ treat you like this…turn you into this girl who's looking like she's lost _everything_…well, it's a pretty shitty feeling, and I don't know how to handle it, okay?" He turned his eyes up from the ground, settling on her lips. "You've got so much going for you in there," he pointed to his head, "but I think you're holding it all back _here_." And his palm came to rest on his heart.

Lee stayed silent. She watched him warily.

Jeremy groaned. "C'mon. Just say something, okay? I know I was a complete jackass, pulling you away, but…look, if it were the other way around, would you just stand by and watch me drown? Or would you do everything possible to save me?"

She quirked a brow, lips fighting for a grin. "I'd say, have a fan-effing-tastic life with the fish."

His face fell. And then perked up when he saw her smiling softly. "Are you kidding me? I would've sent the whole Coast Guard in after you, and all you can say is good luck being a merman?"

"Would you prefer me to add some cement blocks to those fins of yours?"

Jeremy swallowed loudly.

"Take what you can get."

He nodded. "I'll take what I can get."

Jeremy pulled Matthew out of the car, handling him roughly by the neck as the three ascended the stairs. Lee walked ahead of them, mentally counting down the digits until they reached the door. She paused in front of it.

But before she knocked, Lee threw a quick, questioning glare in Jeremy's direction, watching him un-cuff Matthew's wrists.

"Don't worry. He'll be a perfect gentleman. _Won't you_?" Matthew wised up at the glint of Jeremy's knife, before it disappeared behind his back. Lee just stared.

"He's not coming in."

"Lee, I can't just let you—"

"Jeremy. I'm not letting him _near_ my boy. If you have a problem with that, you can shove it up your—"

"Okay, okay. Here, then?" he gestured blindly outside the door.

"Fine."

Jeremy pulled Matthew back and out of sight of the door.

Lee's knuckles came down hard on the door, and she had a funny sense of déjà-vu. The door unlocked and pulled open a quarter of an inch, before a wrinkled woman barreled out of the door and wrapped her grandmotherly arms around Lee.

She was sobbing.

And in Lee's panic, she nearly threw Simon's mother off her shoulder to rush and find Christopher. But…somehow?

She already knew it was too late.

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**a/n: I loved writing this chappie, btw. and HA! I said it. I said the word. OO oh, so…made lotsa friends…but for some reason today feels like the loneliest day of my life ******** cheer me up? reviewz most MOST welcome. I swear, next chapter should be non-stop Joker. but this was one of those chapters that had to be written. oh, so…despite my undying loathing for football players, I decided to branch out at dinner last night to one sitting next to me. fattest mistake of my life. major redneck, and I couldn't understand a stupid word he said, or his chuckles. Yes, he chuckled. I don't know why. I didn't think it was possible. But he did. haha, okay, 'nuff bout my boring life. please please please review…especially those of you who are adding my story, reading it, and not doing anything about it. thankyousoveryverymuch. I could use it to cheer up my day. And a big happy shout-out to my lovely constant review-ees! cookies and Jokers for all ******


	19. Chapter 19

a/n: don't own ittttt

**a/n: don't own ittttt. oh, and for, ha, those of you who didn't read Jeremy's dialogue in the last chapter…I understand your annoyance is on a high level, but **_**I**_** personally think it's important. totally up to you, but I'd love it if you'd give him another chance ******** he's begging youu. oh, and, Lee's Dad wasn't in the car for the record. just Josh. but yes, here's your Joker-filled chappie…enjoy! **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"Sadie, where's Christopher?" Lee demanded sharply.

The woman collapsed weakly against the door's frame, pointing a shaky finger behind her. "He's…he's in his room."

Lee nodded fiercely, pulling away and tripping past her into the hall.

"Lee!" Sadie called after her hoarsely.

"Yeah?"

"Be. _Careful._"

She heard Jeremy let out a low oath, but before he could drag her back outside, she stepped farther through the threshold and into the kitchen. The walls were _carved._ Knives had dipped into the wallpaper, curling the loose flaps into words. Sloppy, red paint outlined each letter, glaring at her from the ceiling and the walls.

_All talk and no play makes Harley a dull toy._

Lee's fingers traced the gruesome threat a hundred times over, before she heard a subtle cough in a fist, a throat clear, and a giggle. "It just t-_ickles_ me, _Lee_, that you, ah, are so…damn, _fashionably_ la-_te_ to our little…hmmm…family mee-_t­_-ing-_uh._"

She swirled around.

Joker sat at the end of the dining table, elbows propping his chin up idly as he smacked his lips and blinked lazily. His cheek twitched into a half-grin. He watched her for a moment, cocking his head to the side and narrowing one eye at her almost as if he were winking. Then he popped his lips and gestured at the seat across from him, nodding.

Lee held her ground.

"Have a, ah, sea-_t._" High, calm.

"No."

He rolled his eyes. "I, erm, a-_ssure_ you, Har_ley_, that the, ah, produc-_t_ of our affections is…just…peachy. Now. _Sit._"

"_No._"

Josh coughed back a laugh. "You and, ha, that _wor-_duh…just…_love_ each other, don'tcha?!" His laughter was pitchy and shrill. Lee winced as his chair scraped sharply against the floor and toppled over.

In a flash, he had her. His knife was to her cheek, pressing crisply against her hairline and ear.

"Wanna paint me a pic-_ture_? Be like _Vincent_ the Van?" But his quiet chuckle was anything _but_ happy. His thrill of her fear hummed right through his fingertips and into her.

He dragged her away from the wall and shoved her roughly into the chair, swaying awkwardly as he crossed the room and settled into his chair, regaining his former position. "_Stay_," he warned, eyes flashing as Lee moved to get up. "Hands where I can…ah, _see_ them."

Angrily, she folded her arms on the table, leaning forward slightly and trying to derive some sort of sick bravery. "I just want Christopher, Josh. That's all I want."

"Then we have some_thing_ in c-_ommon._"

"I used to think so," she snapped.

He raised his brows, lip twitching down placidly and letting his scars do the smiling. Joker's gaze flickered to her arms, then back to her face. "Your, uh, _bracelets_ match my _smile._" But he didn't smile at this. In fact, there was a soft tone of regret hidden somewhere.

Lee glanced down at her wrists—crimson from the iron cuffs. She glared down at the angry welts. "Courtesy of your friendly, neighborhood _cops_."

"Aw, does _Lee_ feel like she's, uh, mis_placed_ her trus-_t?_" Josh sneered, leaning forward heavily on the table. "That you, hm, be_lieved_ in _good_?"

He waited, seething and foaming at the mouth.

Lee wanted to wipe that damn look off his face. Those scars leered at her, riding up as he panted like mad. "Your faith in _this_," he pointed at himself, "is as shallow, ha, as a _kiddy_ pool. But you…jus-_t_ fall…for an ac-_t_? So easily? I mean, uh, _really_, Har_ley…_I taught ya better, sweets."

"Get to your damn point, Josh." Lee's eyes narrowed as his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"My damn poin-_t…_Lee-sters…is that _you_ are just…so sad. And I, ah, _miss_…that smile of yours. So, uh," he licked his lips, poking his tongue at his scarred cheeks as he waved his fingers around. He hunched further towards her. "I want to _know_…what will, ah, make you _happy_?"

She grit her teeth. "Getting rid of a certain pest."

Joker hummed to himself for a moment. His eyes darkened seductively. "Oh, _sorry_…what was…_that_?"

"You heard me."

"And you're…ha…absolutely _su-_re-re? You're, uh, dea-_duh_ serious?"

Lee nodded fiercely. "Dead."

He giggled. "Calm down, precious, _he's_ _'bout to be._"

There was a loud commotion from the door. Joker concentrated hard on keeping his eyes on Lee as she rose from her chair violently. He watched her wage an internal war, flitting her decision between him, then out into that hallway. He licked his lips anxiously. And in two seconds, Lee was running for the door.

She hardly made it past the hallway's frame. She hadn't even been able to see the front door.

All she knew, was she was _flying._

Or…she thought she was, that is, until her shoulder slammed painfully into the wall. Her neck cracked. She shook her head feebly, climbing to her feet and swaying towards the kitchen counter. Joker stalked after her, hunched.

Lee's fingers dug through the drawers, pulling out a long butcher's knife. It glinted in the lamplight and Josh's grin grew in roughly contained excitement. "Ooooh, _oh, _Lee, you _cut_ me with your, your, ah," he sniffed at the air, like he could smell it. "Fear."

"I'm not afraid of you," she growled back, now holding onto the knife with both hands, preparing to swing it like a baseball bat. But Joker continued to creep forward, and whether it was because he _wanted_ her to hit him, or he knew she could never do it—Lee wasn't sure.

"Ha, bu-_t…you always…_always…_fear what you, uh, love._"

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_-_

_That incident had drowned, to say the least. _

_And, I mean, literally, it drowned. _

_Josh sunk my father's car in the river. But he had three others, so it's not like he'd miss it…too much. _

_I watched him do it, as he struggled, wedging a block of wood down onto the gas pedal, and pushing the thing off a damn cliff. I watched it roll over, tail lights blindingly red. And, as I watched, for some stupid, weak reason, when that car sailed over the edge and plunged beneath the surface, my heart broke. _

_And I cried. _

_I cried as Josh turned from the ledge and just _stood_ there, hunched, hooded eyes only for me. _

_I cried as he took his own emotional block of wood with his clumsily carved initials, and wedged it right between my heart and my head. Right at the neck. Where he could so easily turn my head any which way, and I'd have no control. _

_I cried when I realized my life wasn't _mine_ anymore. _

_And I cried even harder when I realized how easily I accepted it. _

_I didn't realize, suddenly, that he was _right there._ His head was tilted to the side, arms lifting up as if he were going to embrace my head, fingers twitching. "How does that make ya…_feel_, Har_ley_?" _

_I hugged myself, barely able to breathe. I shook my head. I couldn't see. _

"_Does it…does it make you, ah, sorry?" _

_I coughed, nodding dumbly. "I'm…I'm s-s-sorry…" _

_Whoa, pause, rewind, stop. Was that _me_? When the hell had I become so…so…compliant? Had he made me like this? _

_Yes. _

_Yes he had. _

_And I had let him. _

_He grabbed my skull, fingers sliding painfully through my hair when he jerked my forehead to his. Bone hit bone, but he kept us together, his eyes crossing and his tongue slipping out. He growled menacingly. "You really need to…_learn…_how to lie bet-_ter._ Just sorry you got caugh-_t_." _

_I nodded again. But what I didn't tell him was that I was sorry for so much more. _

_Josh's index finger came up, the back gently stroking beneath my eyes. My breath hitched. It was so frighteningly contrasting, his mood swings. Maybe…maybe he wasn't as bad as I imagined. _

_I mean really, my imagination runs away with me all the time. _

_I used to pretend when I was little that Beetle-geuse was my brother, and Superman was my husband. I'd even scold him every night for staying out too late with Lex Luther. I even pretended I was invisible…especially when Dad would come home…and when the screams would get louder…I'd pretend I was deaf, and I'd sign things to the moon and stars. But nothing ever came to save me. _

"_Oh, shush, shush, shush, _shush_," he cooed, nuzzling his forehead to mine. "I'm right here, so hush. It's okay. I'm _here._ Right here." And those lips, those aching, burning lips were on mine. _

_And I actually laughed at him. The bastard thought I was crying for _him.

_But that, for some reason, stoked my depression and reignited my spark. _

_I. _

_Was. _

_Pissed. _

_My knee came up hard in his groin. I watched him take a step back, sputtering on himself in disbelief, eyes wide and skeptical at my rebellion. "I swear Josh, if your lips ever…_ever_ come near mine again, I'll cut them, if not, off. And _then_ we'll see who has the last fucking laugh." _

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"_Now_, beautiful."

Lee bit her lip and glared back at him.

He rolled his eyes, giggling in exasperation. "I _sai-_duh…wha-_t_ say…you and _I_…go mee-_t…_the little…_guy_? Now."

"_No,_ Josh."

He glared harshly, the back of his hand catching her roughly on the jaw. "It's _Joker_ now, _hun-_un-un. Now, if I, uh, don't _see_ my…_boy_…in thir-_ty_ se-_conds—_"

"Shove off, _Josh Kerit._"

And she was in the air before she knew it. His grimy fingers squeezed at the back of her neck, rendering her paralyzed but he forced her down the hall anyway, muttering and growling to himself about broken toys and _t-_ryin-_guh_ to play _nice._ He threw her to the ground, and then bellowed at her to get off her ass. But she couldn't move. Joker jerked her to her feet and against the wall, sliding her along the paneling. He pressed himself full-length against her, breathing heavily into her ear as they inched closer to the guest room. His eyes were bloodshot. "I just, I _jus-_t…I wanna see 'im, _Har._" Voice high, sweet, and calm, it chillingly contrasted with the violent manner in which he handled her.

She opened her mouth to protest, but it was all it took. His forehead connected with hers, sharply this time. She could feel his paint rubbing off onto her, and her neck burned with acidic mistrust. His brand was infected.

Lee slid to the floor, defeated, and hardly caring as Josh's lips mutated into a hideous cackle. He bowed at her, fingers steepled, and twisting his torso slightly to the right as he came at her. "Oh, _sssshh_, shush, _sshhh_, Har_ley_, don't _hide_ from me."

He straddled her stomach as she half-leaned, half-lay against the wall. His shaky, freezing hands grasped her own, pulling them tightly against his chest.

"C'_mere_," Joker's chest rumbled. His fingers fumbled clumsily with her jaw, painfully stretching her neck and torso. She winced and jerked back from the aching. "_Don't. _Figh-_t. Me._"

Lee's head flipped back into the wall. Her vision dimmed in punishment of her denial. And tears were cascading, burning her crimson cheeks and slipping down onto her neck. She screamed silently.

"Let's _see_," he purred, cupping the back of her head and forcing her towards him. He twisted her head to the side. Joker's thumb soothingly stroked the bare, enflamed flesh there. But then it didn't feel nice anymore, and this time Lee _did_ scream as his nail dug viciously into the cuts, ripping them open again.

"I, uh, _no, no, _Har_ley. _Don't you _dare. _C'mon. Open up. O-_pen u-_p. Lemme see…_lemme see those eyes._ I wanna," he coughed back a giggle, voice rising, "I wanna see you _c-_ry."

Lee, furious with herself, tore her red eyes open. Her face was blotchy and screwed up in pain. But she let him _feel_ it with her punishing gaze. She watched as he licked his lips greedily, glancing away as if to make sure he had her hurt all to himself. But upon turning back, his eyes widened, brows knitting and rising in agony. He let out a low hiss.

Joker didn't like what he saw in his Lee.

His face fell.

And she saw Josh behind the makeup, back in those lost eyes.

"_Harley_," he breathed. He leaned into her, heavy and restricting her air. His lips fell just below her eyes, tongue flitting out to taste her tears.

She was shaking. "Christopher."

"He can…_wait._"

"_What_?!"

He pushed his cheek to her neck, his scars practically catching on hers. Josh sighed again. "Lee."

"I don't…I don't _get it_," she choked out, fighting the darkness that was creeping in. "You…you wanted him…so _bad…_and now…he can _wait_?"

He pulled back, eyes shifting and taking her in. His tongue poked out, then twisted back in, as if he was _trying_ not to be the Joker. Brows furrowed, he whispered fiercely. "No, no, _no. _I wanted…I wanted _us_ so ba-_duh._"

There was another bang near the front door, followed by shouts. Lee twisted her head around Josh, trying to see, but he wouldn't let her. He held her down, growling in the back of his throat as she fought him more. She strained.

Jeremy yelled.

There was a thud.

Then silence.

Someone was mumbling around the corner of their hallway. Lee's neck craned painfully, and this time, Josh let her, shoving her face into the hardwood floor, _forcing _her to look. There was something he wanted her to see, she was so sure.

And she wasn't disappointed.

Jeremy's body was tossed unceremoniously onto the ground, sliding on the polished floor and nearly bumping into Lee's.

"Oh _God_," she croaked. Matthew rounded the corner after him, unsheathing a knife. He chuckled deeply.

"Easy as _pie_, just like you said."

Lee's eyes met Jeremy's. They were open. His mouth was open, gasping, breaths growing slower and slower. She tried to turn away, but Joker held her there with the palm of his hand to her temple. "No, see, _loo-_k. Look. At. _Him. _This is _your _faul-_t. _This is what _you do…_to, ah, people like…_us. _You, ha, you _kill…us._ From the inside ou-_t._"

Lee screamed.

A door banged open.

The hallway fell silent.

"_Mommy_?"

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**a/n: oh my gosh. I'd better get 289636 reviews for this LONG chappie. seriously, it was a lot of work. people, PLEASE REVIEW! I'm craving them right now, so make me fat with 'em! college has been currraaaaaaazy. but yay for a 3 day weekend. hopefully I'll get more in soon, but it's not gonna be put up until I get tons of feedback. yes, I know. I'm a selfish human being. and I'm cruel, and I'm blackmailing you all! muahahaha… oh, and that whole...imagination part…haha, I really did that, except I was married to Batman. I had this little figurine, and I'd yell at him every night for sneaking in and staying out too late with the Joker. my gosh…even as a **_**child**_** I was obsessed… tsk tsk tsk. r-e-v-i-e-w-.**


	20. Chapter 20

Lee could breathe

**a/n: dodges glares and poor-attempts-to-stab-me-with-sporks. I promise, I have been incredibly busy owning a life OO I haven't had ANY time to write, so I hope this chapter sates your Joker thirst a bit more. I know, I know. no excuses, right? don't own it. and I apparently got my first flame? wth? but ya know what? it's the WEEKEND and I flippin don't care anymore :-D so screw it! thanx so much to the rest of you who leave me happy things. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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Lee could _breathe. _

The heaviness of Josh's weight on her shifted and altogether disappeared. He whirled around, turning his hunched back on his family. Lee struggled to sit up. She ignored Jeremy's rasping pleas. As heartless as it seemed, he was not her problem.

Her problem was Christopher's fear.

As the tiny, boy cowered against his door frame, hugging it and a stuffed dog now for support, Lee could _breathe_ his panic as it radiated off of him in alerted heat waves. He was staring with wide, rounded eyes at Lee. There were tears slipping out at the corners.

It felt like she hadn't seen him in a long, _long_ time.

And now here she was, Nanny nowhere in sight, with two strange men and a dying one on the floor.

Lee kept her eyes focused on Christopher, but she spoke clearly to Josh. "Your _face. _Fix it. _Now._"

There was a low, guttural growl. "I _can't._ Or, ah, didn't you…_notice_?!"

"Too. Much. _Makeup_," she snapped, criticism loaded with order.

She felt, rather than heard, him disappear. The bedroom faucet squeaked on, and she half wondered how the hell he knew where it was, but decided not to question it. Christopher was quivering, inching himself slowly back into his room, jaw dropped. And his eyes flickered to something close behind her. Lee turned.

Her heart melted.

There Josh stood, _trying_ to straighten up and look tall. His hair, although still wet and stringy, was pushed back behind his ears somewhat neatly. Face bare of paint, his scars stood out more than ever, crimson and caked in recent blood, like he'd re-marred the job all over again. His hands were pale and limp at his sides. The purple overcoat was gone…now clad in only his pinstriped pants, green and lilac vest and button-up shirt…and that ridiculous tie that was too long. There were stains on his clothes.

And then his _face._ Lee took it all in: his lips were quivering, forehead scrunched up in worry lines, eyebrows pinned up to a point. He was asking her _permission._

And Lee, damning it all to hell, _gave it._

Josh straightened his vest and took two and a half rapid steps towards a cowering Christopher before halting completely, palms outstretched, reaching, and looking childishly helpless. But for whatever reason, he pulled back and just stared.

She took a tiny step towards them, forgetting about Jeremy and Matthew.

Josh was shivering violently.

Lee swallowed hard and made up her mind. Frowning, she crossed the short distance between them to gently stand shoulder to shoulder on the right with him. She glanced down at his free hand. And took it in hers.

Digits entwined, she somehow felt _safer_ about all this.

Bad. Effed-up. Feeling.

Joker's head cocked to the left as his eyes swiveled to the corners at her. He was grinning madly, applying a steadily increasing pressure on her wrist, hitting a nerve. He watched her bite her lip and try not to writhe in agony—for Christopher. Always for Christopher.

"Christopher," she breathed heavily. "This is…this is your—_shit!_" she screeched as a nail dug firmly into a vein, breaking skin. She dared not look either of them in the eyes, afraid of what they'd see. She swallowed and tried again. "Josh. This…is Josh."

"Mom?"

Lee sighed faintly. "Chris. Just come here. Please?"

"_No._"

Lee could feel a shock of rage jolt up her arm from the Joker. And even though he wasn't saying or doing anything, she could tell she'd be in a shitload of trouble for letting their son talk to her like that. Because, _obviously_, lack of a father figure in the kid's life was _her_ fault.

The boy folded his arms angrily. "I don't _like_ my Josh."

The hand that held her released her, but she grabbed it back in fear of what he'd do. "Christopher _Owen_," she pulled. "Now."

Christopher stared at his mother for a moment before taking a solid step towards them, his face wiped of all rebellion and replaced with full-blown fear. He never once looked at his father, never once stared curiously and dumfounded at his scars. Christopher simply watched his mother. Because _that_ was enough for him.

The same could not be said for Josh.

His eyes wilted quickly between the two. And at another short step from Christopher, Josh was stumbling back over himself, practically dragging Lee with him. Her hands reached instinctively for Christopher, but she was pulled out of range violently, still in Joker's hold.

She growled at him. "I _promise_ he's more afraid of _you_ than you are of _him._"

"Shut _u-_p_!_" he snapped. "You, ah, wouldn't _know_ the firs-_t_ thing 'bout…_fear_," he breathed, pulling her even further aside, further into _him_. "And my _guess_, ha, is that you…wouldn't min-_duh_…being taugh-_t._ A thing. Or _two_."

He whipped the knife out quickly, toying with her as the blade stroked across her lips gently. His own hissed. His entire frame was shaking with excitement from her dread. Joker drank it in, forgetting his place. Forgetting his façade. Forgetting his _son._

"Not. _Here,_" Lee begged above a whisper, so only he could hear.

"Yes. _Here, _Har_ley._"

Lee's eyes made contact with Christopher's. He was watching them with ample wariness, tense and on the verge of crying. He was too young for this. She wanted so bad to reach out and tell him it would be alright, that it was okay, and everything was fine. That, no, this man holding her was his father, but he was really a kind guy once you got to know him. That he loved Christopher and Lee.

But lies always got stuck in her heart before they ever made it up her throat.

She swallowed thickly, making up her mind.

"Christopher. You remember…that game? We used to play?"

His eyes flickered, head rocking up and down. "With Daddy?"

Lee forced a smile as Josh's hold tightened painfully. "Yes…with…_Daddy._"

"Three…"

"Mommy—"

"_Lee-sters—!_"

"Two…"

"I don't—"

"_If you fucking—_"

"_RUN!!_"

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_My fingers sped along my locker dial. _

_Nineteen minutes until school was out for the weekend. So I skipped a little early. So what? I didn't want to be caught by _him_ again. He'd made a nasty habit of walking me home lately, following me around everywhere like a stupid, useless shadow. _

_He didn't talk. _

_Didn't make a sound. _

_Just followed—either twenty feet or twenty millimeters away from me—wherever I went. _

_I hated him for it. _

_No. _

_That was a lie. _

_I loved him for it. _

_I woke up every morning wishing he was dead. _

_No. _

_That was another lie. _

_I woke up every morning wishing _I_ was dead. _

_Life's no fun when it's not _yours_ anymore. _

_I had nowhere to go. I obviously couldn't skip town again, but what were a few more minutes to myself? Not much. But it was a start. A beautiful start to a beautiful ending. _

_The stench of dead flowers burned my nose when my locker opened. My eyes caught them immediately—thirteen, blood-red and wilted roses. They hadn't been there long, but from the smell you'd think I hadn't visited my locker since last Valentine's Day. There was something crimson fingered on my mirror—and I prayed it was just dry erase marker. _

"_LoVe'S jUsT a GaMe…TiMe To PlAy." _

_I stared at the words for a moment, until I noticed my car keys were taped curiously beside the mirror. How the hell had he gotten those?! I'd had them on me all effing day! Shit. _Shit.

_He knew I was leaving early. _

_And if he'd had my keys, then he'd been able to get in my car—_

_My feet couldn't carry me fast enough. My house was a good thirty-minute drive from the school, and friends were scarce since Josh had walked in on my life. I dropped my bag in the hall, skidding around a corner and out the emergency exit doors. _

_My car was there. _

_But my tires weren't. _

_I felt like crying, so trapped here. He'd caught me. Josh Kerit had caught me—again. _

_I collapsed on the curb, shoving my head into my arms in dismay and barely contained rage. He couldn't do this to me. He just couldn't. Josh couldn't run off and keep me caged to him held on some electric-shock leash to bend and break at his command. I'd _have_ to wait for him now. Unless… I grinned insanely at myself, running back inside to grab my back, then back out. He could take my tires, but he couldn't take my legs. Well, he could, but…we won't go there. And I hoped he wouldn't go there. _

_So I walked. _

_My feet felt heavy and dead after a good thirty minutes. But it was a straight road, in the middle of absolutely effing nowhere. I kicked at rocks, hummed to myself, and focused on the ridiculous scenario I'd found myself in. _

_I'd always find a way around him. _

_I'd be that last sip of water he tried to hold in his hands—but he could never tape up, fix, or reconcile those cracks in his fingers. I'd always slip through. I'd always leave. _

_And I'd always leave a small part of me with him every time I did it. _

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Joker jerked her back roughly into his chest, wrapping one arm around her quivering waist and splaying his fingers across her stomach possessively. "Oh, shush, shush, _shush, _shhh, sss_hhh_, Har_ley. _Now, _now_, that, ah, was a _not nice_ thin-_guh_…to do…_dar_ling. I—I mean…uh…why'd ya _go_ and do a…thing like…_tha-_t _for_?" The knife was carving lightly along her abdomen, swirling soothing circles. But the danger was there, and Lee tried to remain stiff in his arms, to keep from quickly falling into a lucid puddle in his arms. He waited and watched for her to relax completely.

And when she didn't, he threw her up against the wall.

Josh stared at her. Hard. He didn't touch her, just looked.

Lee hissed at him, grabbing his hand with the knife and forcing it up to the skin just beneath her neck. She pressed against it, letting him see the pain in her eyes. He saw, callously.

And suddenly he was trying to pull away but she wouldn't let him. She dug the blade further into herself. "You wanna do it?" she spat bitterly. "Then _do _it. If you had the guts to go all the way in front of _him_, then surely you have enough guts to _finish_ me off right here, right now, without him."

Joker cocked his head to the side. He tuned her out and let his blazing gaze rest on her neck, on her scars. His tongue flicked out and to the side in concentration. "If a tree, ah, _falls_…when no one's…_aroun-_duh…to hear it…does it…uh, make a…hmmm…_sound_?"

In a flash, Lee was back up against the wall with hardly a scratch save the one she'd given herself. The knife was gone, replaced simply by his hands which were pinned on either side of her head, boxing her in. He pressed himself up against her, watching her squirm under his weight.

"Would you _scream_…for _me…_if no one's…ah, _aroun-_duh_…Lee?_"

"Go to _hell,_" she gasped as he cut into her. She couldn't breathe. He was crushing her. And, somehow, she didn't mind if she'd take another breath ever again, if this was how she was to go.

Josh Kerit's face fell. So serious.

"I would've g-_one_…there and…ba-_ck_…for _you_ once up-_on_ a t-_ime._"

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**a/n: my gosh. this has taken me forever. my life has been overrun by new people, evil boys, nice boys, and midnight graveyard strolls (don't. ask.) but I promise to update in a more timely fashion now (I hope). but thank you so much for those who have stuck with it thus far! I have many exciting plans in the future so keep with it and REVIEW. they keep me writing. ******


	21. Chapter 21

Lee screamed at him in rage

**a/n: PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME! my life has been hectic, and personal things came up that were, honestly, more important than this story. ******** I sowwyyyyy! but I am back now, and with a ton of inspiration that I hope throws you guys in for a rollercoaster of loops and twists and makes you wanna hurl in the best way possible :-D now. on with this story! **

**don't own it. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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Lee screamed at him in rage.

Her fingers tore at his face, at his clothing.

Her pinned legs shot out against his strength.

His words had done more harm than he'd ever know.

"You _bastard_," she hissed, fighting for the upper hand. Joker struggled for a moment, grappling with her strikes but he finally got a hold on her and shoved her fiercely against the wall. Pictures on either side of her head thumped loudly from the impact and shattered on the ground.

Lee's eyes widened and she froze. The glass framed around three people: herself and two little…_shit!_

She threw herself tenfold into her rebellious streak, screeching as she wrestled for proper footing. Josh leaned back to ram forward but the space was just enough. Her leg shot out and smashed down on the picture, crumpling it and leaving it beneath her weight. She fell still.

He quirked a brow smoothly. "Ah, is my," he coughed loudly, "_t-_icker done…_ticking_?"

Lee's nostrils flared but she kept silent. She wasn't looking at him anymore, but at Christopher's door. Light shone underneath, and she could see feet scurrying about, stocking things in front of the door. He was barricading himself in.

Lee smiled. She wished she had _half_ the courage he did—then maybe she wouldn't be in this situation.

Joker slammed her back against the wall, growling at her. Apparently, ignorance was _not_ bliss. Lee flicked her gaze to him, then away again. She wouldn't buckle this time. She was so sure…

His eyes swiveled around to follow where she was gazing at so triumphantly. Then a knowing smile spread, and he released her. She collapsed on the floor, taken off guard. His heels clicked loudly as Joker crossed the threshold to the door. He leaned up against the frame, licking his lips greedily. One at a time, his fingers came to drum against the wood.

"What, oh, _wha-_t…could be behind…door number _one_, Har_ley_? I, uh, I mean…no disrespect-_t_…bu-_t…_ah, I don't think…you're all that interested…in our _son_'s safety."

Her jaw jutted out in rebellion. "You wouldn't harm one hair on his head, and you know it, _Josh._ He's…what did you call it? The product of our affections? He's the only reminder you have left of _us._ Because you sure as hell—"

"I _sure as h-_ell_,_" he choked on the word, tone dropping dangerously, "have _you._ And _that…_is enough…for now. But, uh, _Lee_? I'm no-_t._ Gonna let you go down _that road._ I want," he swallowed back his excitement, "I want _it._ I want it _all_—every silly, screwed u-_p_ notion of a…a…ah, happily ever af_ter_. Starting. With. _Him._"

Lee's eyes widened. "This isn't some _game_, Josh. This is our _son_ we're talking about, not some fairytale spoof you've got engrained in your screwed up head. This is reality, and I'll be _damned_ if you go and throw away my son's life on some whim of yours." She crossed her arms, sucking in a shaky breath. "I won't let you near him."

"You. Won't. Let. _Me_," he mocked, tone dropping several icy degrees. "Got news for ya, _girly._ You don't _have_ to, ah, le-_t_ me. I _let_…myself."

He roughly knocked her aside, expecting total submission—not her retaliation.

A fist caught him square in the jaw.

Joker collapsed in a fit of combusting laughter, hands shooting out to wrap around Lee's escaping ankle. She fell, twisted around, delivered a quick kick to the head, and crawled further away, towards Christopher.

"You, ah, go _through_ that d-_oor_, Lee-sters, and I'll make sure you _don't…_uh, come…_ou-t._"

Lee ignored him.

"_Don'-_t…_make_…me be, ha, _gentle_ with you," he leered letting her crawl away.

She pressed on, like always.

"_Lee._"

But this time, she _did_ stop just as she reached the archway.

"_Lee._"

Her heart, her mind—everything—stopped.

_You're supposed to be dead. _

"Jer?"

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_My feet were dead. _

_Well, not literally, but I was definitely on the verge of amputating myself. Useless things were no good, and it was better to throw them away before they became a burden. _

_Josh Kerit had taught me that much. _

_I'd been walking for hours. Josh never came down the road to find me. I half expected to hear tires screeching after me, head stuck out the window and screaming my name. But nothing happened. School was beyond out now. I'd watched the buses drive by. And I watched them disappear, wondering if Josh was on one of them. _

_But knowing him, he had bigger and better fish to fry. _

_All a part of his stupid, effed up plan. _

_A plan that did and didn't include me. _

_I glanced up at the sky, folding my arms and quickening my pace. It would be dark soon. And no doubt, Josh would be waiting by my front porch. _

_My steps slowed. _

_I had my whole life to go back home. _

_And he would _not_ take my turning back into consideration. I hoped. My grin spread as I crossed the road and walked the opposite way, back towards the school. Back towards my forever. _

_My heart skipped beats as I dreamt up a future without Josh. It would be happy. All smiles. My happily ever after. I'd move away to the ocean, go to college, meet the man of my dreams, have children, and grow old in a beach house with him. _

_Josh wanted to lock me away in his basement, restrict my growth. He was that monster from every nightmare, and to him, children were the Black Plague. As for growing old? I'd be lucky if I didn't kill myself with him by the age of twenty-three. _

_But I wanted that. _

_No. No I didn't. _

…_did I? _

_My head thrummed with confusion, and I had that sickly, twirling weightlessness in the pit of my stomach. I felt bad, drugged, something. And suddenly my feet wouldn't hold me steady. Had he done this to me? The flowers. There must've been something in the flowers…_

_Not a moment too soon, a black Toyota truck whipped out onto the road, after _me.

_I dropped everything. _

_I ran. _

_My feet couldn't move fast enough. I was tripping over ditches and rocks and holes. The predator's engine was revving, a horn blasting at me. I think I ended up in the road. I'm not sure. _

_I couldn't focus. _

_All I saw was that truck. _

_And how it came to a grinding halt barely a foot away from my frozen body. _

_The door opened and slammed shut, but I couldn't look at him. I stared at the space between life and death. I figured I'd be crossing over that line _really_ damn soon. _

_I braced myself, and turned my eyes up to meet his. _

"_Harley Quintzel. What the _hell_ are you doing?" the voice grinned. _

_But I just stared. _

_This guy—I'd never spoken more than a word to all through high school, and here he was, saving me. I couldn't imagine my saving grace coming in the form of a four-eyed, decently looking, social pariah and class reject. I mean, even _I_ had been a complete ass to him over the years. _

_But there we were. Him, arms folded, legs crossed, and leaning against the hood of his car. With swaying me, limbs limp at my sides, and on the verge of collapsing in a fit of hysterics. Oh, Josh would find this absolutely, effing hilarious. _

_Or maybe he wouldn't. _

_Jealousy ran deep with that guy. _

_My smile grew tenfold. _

"_Can I have a ride?" _

_Outcast looked at me weird for a second before shrugging and circling the car to grab my bag. He hoisted it in the back, then grinned sweetly at me. "Where to?" _

"_Anywhere but here." _

_Outcast laughed. "I could practically kidnap you with that leniency. Drug you up, throw you in the back. Not even that leech of a freak would find you." _

_So he hated Josh too. _

_My BFF in shining armor. _

"That_, kind sir, would be a miracle in of itself." _

"_Then let me work my magic, and we'll see if those dreams can't come true, yea? Climb in." _

_And I did. _

_I left everything—Josh—behind to drive off to God knows where, in a beaten up truck, windows rolled down, my hair flapping in my face, sitting next to Nathan Crane. _

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**a/n: bet no one saw that coming! sorry it was short, but there's much, much more to come. I figured I'd go ahead and get this out there before one of you hires the secret service to fire my ass. enjoyyyyy. REVIEW! I know people are reading this without leavin me presents. so pretend It's my birthday, kay? kay!**


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n: This is entirely overdue, and once again I beg your apologies. As a side note, I've been dealing with a lot of crazy stuff. It's been a month now, and I still feel like losing my grandmother happened just five minutes ago. One of my best guy friends, whom I thought I could depend on, decided to become a royal pain in the ass, end everything off of nothing, get a girlfriend, and drop me at the flip of a dime. Really, my faith in people is…rapidly dwindling. Blah, so anyway, peeps, not looking for pity, just thought I'd rant for a moment in the off chance someone could do something about it! Nonetheless, I totally lost my focus on Joker, so I actually re-watched the movie to upgrade my obsession…even on like the twelfth time, that movie never gets old ******

**don't own it. Enjoy. Forgive me if this chapter seems a lil' off track. I promise I'll whoop its ass so into shape it'll look like marble clown-ness…ish…yeah. **

Blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"_Earth to Lee? What are you, on a different frequency channel today? 'Cause I am _not_ picking up on that catatonic stare." _

_I blinked, then honed back in. We were in the cafeteria, Nathan's hand waving idly in front of my face. I watched it tick back and forth—I was running out of timed with this, wasn't I? I was about to lose—_no_. I couldn't lose something I never had. _

_Winter was slipping away. _

_But everything was still dead. _

_Or, at least, _I_ was. _

_Look, I can't really explain it any other way. _

_I wasn't getting my fix. _

_I _needed_…that fix. _

_But it had run off, bristled by my lack of obsession, I guess, and saw fit to punish me by holding out. Nathan turned into that ever-constant presence—but it was okay. Or at least, I convinced myself that I was okay with the fact that a devilishly handsome replacement was gradually overshadowing my Josh. Where my sun had faded, the moon had come in and outshone it. And that's when I realized, most, that I was brighter with the night. If that even makes sense. Or was Josh my moon? _

_Point is, that drive with Nathan changed everything. I think. _

_No. Maybe not. _

_All I knew was, once a person became dependent on something, they usually died when that supply abruptly ran out. And Josh was killing me off slowly. _

_I smacked Nathan away. "Shove it." _

_His eyes narrowed dangerously. "You mind telling me what the hell is the matter, Your Royal Pissiness?" _

"_I _do_ mind. I'm not the one with a problem here," I snapped angrily, slamming my drink on the table. _

_Nathan leaned back, folding his arms. "And _I'm _not the one making a scene, here." Sure enough, as my gaze slid around us, people had stopped to blatantly stare, pizza slices hanging out of mouths, lips crushed in mid-slurp. Great. Just great. _

_Thank God the world kept turning. _

_Or, it almost did. _

"_So where is he?" _

"_Who?" I was so tired of paying this game with him, so denial was my best bet. See, Nathan had this…thing against Josh. Ever since the first grade, apparently, when Josh had stolen his naptime carpet square and juice box. _

_As gay as that sounded, I could see their roots digging back that deep. _

_And then, as Nathan's mouth opened to spew out some crafty insult he'd no doubt spent over fifteen years of grudges harboring, all that came out was a pitiful,"…devil." _

_I glared. "Nathan, I know you have some psychological male-bent drama clogging your arteries, but could you unfreeze your heart for, like, five whole seconds and just forgive and forget—"_

_He shook his head, reaching across the table to grip my chin and twist my head around. "_No_. Speak of the _devil_," he repeated heatedly. _

_And I realized, it wasn't Nathan's heart that would need unfreezing, but _mine_. _

_Josh Kerit stood at the cafeteria entrance, hunched over and leaning heavily against the doorway, blocking a few unimpressed jocks in the process of his I'm-So-Intimidating-Cower-Before-Me Pose. After a month, Josh Kerit stood _there_, less than twenty feet from our table. After a month, Josh Kerit hadn't changed one bit. And after a month, Josh Kerit looked pissed. _

_Pissed. As. Hell. _

_Oh. Effing. Shit. _

_I fought back the urge to suddenly regurgitate everything I'd inhaled for lunch. My clammy hands fumbled with my hair which suddenly felt too greasy to be presentable for _him._ And when I realized I didn't care how I looked, because it wouldn't matter an hour from now if I was _dead_, I started working on an escape plan. He was blocking the only reasonable exit. Let's just face it; a dive out the window might be a little overdramatic, even for a girl. So, with a gulp of air like a fish out of water, I dove for my last possibility. _

_Under the lunch table. _

"_Lee? What the h—owwwwwww!" There went one effective way to shut a man up. _

_I ducked further underneath the bench's overhang, using my backpack and the bars as a shield. Nathan clamped his legs together, digging one booted toe into my side as payback. My head slammed against the table, probably overturning his water, because something wet had begun running down my neck. I could just barely see Josh idly making his way towards our table. This was definitely a problem. _

"Do_ something!" I hissed. Nathan leaned further back to send me a glare. _

"_I'm working on it, pain in my ass." _

_He sucked in a sharp breath, but I hadn't hit him this time. Josh was standing right where I had been sitting, one knee on the bench, hands braced as he hovered over the table. _

"_Where. Is. She?" Quiet and deadly, I could hear the underlying threat laced in his tone. Now would be a God-awful time for Nathan Crane to wig out on me. And I hoped, somehow, this was my Knight in Shining Armor, my Romeo, my Prince Charming. As we both waited on bated breath, I _knew_ he'd finally come to whisk me off on his dashing white horse and gallop forever away into the sunset, out of the evil, devious dragon's—_

"_She's right under the table." _

_Damn. Fairytale equals bullshit. _

_A hand came down and closed over my scalp, fingers digging through my hair, and jerking me awkwardly out from under the table, and onto the bench beside my captor. I opened my mouth to let out a full scream when I realized I hadn't been stolen by Josh, but by Nathan. He offered me a look of sympathy, while Josh hovered greedily over the foot between us, hands itching to pull me back into his life. _

_Nathan beamed. "Sorry." _

"_My ass, you son of a—"_

_And his fist came collided across the table and into Josh's nose. An audible crunch echoed in the silence. I guess in my heroic visions I'd been completely oblivious to the emptying of the lunch room. How convenient. _

_Josh's head snapped to the side from the blow, but he barely moved, chest rising up and down steadily. _

_I stared at him blankly, mouth gaping. I was terrified and yet elated. Someone had finally stood up to _him_ for _me_. Oh, but I would go to hell for this. Maybe it was worth it. _

"_So, what are you waiting for?" Nathan demanded abruptly, pulling himself and me up to our feet. I glanced back at Josh, whose head was cocked, blood dripping, eyeing me curiously, as if he wanted to know the damn answer too. _

_I took one reflexive step towards him. _

_Nathan Crane stopped me. _

"_Not _that_ way," he chided lightly. "You run _away_. Lee. Run. Away." _

_But something broke. Un-reflexive._

"_No." _

_Both of them flinched. Josh's lips spread into that satanic, seductive grin of his. "Ah, a woman's favorite wor-_duh_." _

_I glared at them both, flames boiling through my veins. _

"_Leave her alone, you freak," Nathan growled, ignoring my death ray. Damn invincible man. _

"_Oh, so, uh," he licked his lips, looking around with widened eyes, "_I'm_ the freak, now? I seem to have forgotten, Deusch of the Bags. Really, grow a pair and let her make u-_p_ her own." He leapt over the table gracefully, feet planted firmly between Nathan and me. Josh pushed me almost protectively behind his back, straightening and challenging Nathan. _

_Nathan chuckled icily. "You know what your problem is, you selfish bastard?" His hand slipped to his plate of spaghetti, finger dipping in to taste it. He smacked his lips lazily, eyes pinning Josh to the spot. Fear gripped my gut. This was all wrong. _

"_That I, ah, play with my food?" _

_Josh's hand suddenly came up and slammed the plateful of sauce into Nathan's scrunched-up face, probably pissed Josh had stolen his own kindergarten version of revenge. _

"_You know, Brain Crane, I think you…need…to…smile. More. Lots more." His finger came up to trace two ragged upturned lines at the edges of Nathan's lips. _

_I saw Nathan's hands clench into fists. _

_I saw Jackass I laughing maniacally as Jackass II's arm reared back to thrust forward. _

_And to this day, I still don't know why I decided to be the shitty heroine. Really. Overrated and underpaid. _

_His fist collided painfully with m y chin. It's like the whole world went white, and I was floating—no, gravity exists, Smart One—so I was falling. Someone caught me roughly, profanity burning my ears as he eased my forehead into the crook of his neck, fitting like a perfect puzzle piece. _

"_Shit, Harley. You trying to fuck yourself up before I get the damn chance?" a voice growled in my ear. James? No. Josh. Was that his name? It didn't sound like him. Damn. His hot breath tickled, and I almost laughed. I mean, I would have, except I couldn't breathe. _

_And then my head connected with the floor, and my saving demon left me there. Hello? Excuse me?! Oh, I'm sorry, please continue to fight with your bare testosterones while I just bleed my bloody brain on the floor. _

"_You son of a bitch, I swear I'm gonna—," Josh's low voice grated against my ears. Was he spinning me in circles? Oh. Uh oh…_

_Clean-up on aisle five. _

"_Shhh, shush, Lee-sters. C'mere. No, shut the hell up, just lemme…" And I was back up in the air again, tucked against Josh Kerit's chest. I squinted my eyes. It was too bright, and my face was on fire. _

"_Put her _down_, you sick f—"_

"_GENTLEMEN!!!"_

_Uh Oh the Sequel. _

_Josh was still moving me somewhere, hardly flinching at the barking voice. Until…_

"_Kerit! Get your ass back here _now_! Or I'll call the police, and we'll just _see_ how far you get with Miss Quintzel!" _

_I scrunched up my face, yelping as Josh swerved backwards towards the sharp tone. Please. Don't. Kill. Him. _

"Har_ley Quintzel…needs…hel-_p_," he spat, grip tightening. _

_I opened my mouth. _

"_Shut your _trap_, Miss Quintzel. And wipe that damn spaghetti off all your faces. Detention. _Now_." His shoes clicked away. The lunchroom was dead quiet. Except for Josh's guttural growling, and Nathan's labored breathing. _

"_Go to h-_ell_!" As if the Principal's hearing aid would pick that up. _

"_Go to hell," I parroted, moving my hand up to wipe the red spaghetti sauce off my face. But it wasn't spaghetti at all. And he knew. _

_Josh glared down at me. "No-_t_. Without. You."_

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"He's alive?"

She didn't mean it as a question, but it came out as one. Lee had backed herself up to their bedroom door, but no further, legs sprawled out and hands hanging helplessly at her sides. Joker towered opposite her, on his feet now, and glaring down his nose at Jeremy. His tongue was practically lolling in some un-sated thirst, lips smacking, scars blowing in and out, like a sucker addict without candy.

"Matt_hew_, Matt, _Matty_, remind me, ah, why I hired you? Because, ya see, I've, ah, had a change…of _heart_, without a damn…clue as to how an incompeten-_t_ bastard, such as yourself…could _fail_…to k_-ill_. And a co-_p_, no less," he giggled, slapping his palm against the wall. "I, ah, I mean, do I have…to do _everything_ my_self_?"

"You…you _can't_…kill…me…"

Joker bit his lip, nostrils flaring as he exploded into a fit of barely-contained laughter. He hopped towards Jeremy, crouching down with his elbows on his knees, chin in his steepled hands.

"Do _share_ with the, ah, _class_."

He wheezed. "Because…because _I_ held…up…my part…"

Lee stared in horror at Jeremy. "What's going on?"

"Se-_crets_, secrets," Joker tsked lazily, finger wagging back and forth. "See, I was gonna get a_way_ with mine. You were, ha, gonna _die_ with yours. Bu-_t_," he sighed, jerking up and whirling to stare down Lee, fingers digging in his pockets for something. "Ya win some, ya lose…some."

Jeremy groaned, pushing himself up to catch her eyes. "Lee. Lee, I'm—sorry."

"What was the deal, Jeremy?"

"I, no, Lee—"

"What was the fucking deal?" Lee snarled, backing away. Joker, hunched over, stringy hair in his face, was taking slow but deliberate steps towards her.

"Lee-sters," he whistled high. "C'mere, girl. _C'mere_, pup, pup, pup_py_."

"Your kids." Jeremy broke off as Matthew took a threatening step at him. Joker waved him off, not even looking over his shoulder as he suddenly rushed at Lee, scarred cheeks sucked in and bloodshot eyes rooting her before him.

At the last moment, he paused, head cocking to the side.

"Leave me the hell _alone_."

Josh's face broke into a grin. "T-_ill death do us, ah, par-_t_,_" he annunciated carefully. And his hand shot forward to cuff the back of her neck and pull her head crashing into his.

"Your kids. For _you._"

But his lips smelled funny, a bittersweet stench. And how he'd grown immune to it, Lee'd never know. She fought. Until his lips met hers. And she couldn't escape it. Chloroform was up and around her, dragging her down. Joker held her up by the back of her neck, into him.

He pulled back, breathing heavily on her.

"Har_ley. _You are, uh, _mine…for the _take_ing_."

And she was gone.

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**a/n: wow. Long chapter. Please please please R&R. reviews for Christmas, and reviews for New Year's and for my bday. I need 'em. Give me thoughts/concerns. Inspiration is slow and I'd LOVE to hear where some of you'd like to see this going. Either way, it will continue. I again apologize if this chapter seemed off—I'm just trying to get back on my feet again. Lots of love. –me & happy new year's!!! go eat some graffiti. **

"_We don't want anyone, ah, getting _hurt_…now, do we, _Har_ley?"_


	23. Chapter 23

**a/n: ATTENTION: okay, heres the deal: im not getting a lot of feedback, which is understandable since I've been gone so long, but I could really use the pick-me-up or this story isn't gonna get much farther. I know people are out there reading and adding this which is awesome, but please let me get a lil feedback from you guys after all this work. Okayz? Okie dokie! And this may just be the Cortisone invading and ranting, but I'm a review whore…what can I say??!? **

**Now, to clear up some confusion in my last chapter, which I dearly apologize for—cut me some slack, I'm just getting back on my feet. I realize there didn't appear to be much point to the flashback, but I wanted to throw in some tense scenes between Crane and Joker, because it will come in handy. Crane hit Lee. He was attempting to punch Josh, but Lee being our Joker-addict, got in the way defensively, trying to play the hero. But ended up with a near-broken nose instead. As for Jeremy, I've temporarily withdrawn working on him, because I myself am a bit confused on him. I promise to work more on outlines, though. I do know where this story is going, so don't lose faith! If you feel lost, I'd suggest maybe re-reading previous chapters. I'm working on it though. Regarding Josh vs. Joker, I think this chapter clears that up some…Josh comes back out. Joker is merely a front, a façade that he wears around the "guys", but in vulnerable or alone-time-with-Lee moments, he resurfaces. **

**Wow, LONG a/n, sorry about that. But long chapter for you to read, evens out, see? So, on with this thing which I do not own, save my own characters! Gentle reminder, this is my first FF, so I'm trying my best. Love to those sticking with our sexy clown and his Lee-sters. I promise lots of twists sooooooon. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2008

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"C'mon. Wake_up. _Wake up! I wanna…I want ya to. C'_mon_, Lee-sters. Lemme see those eyes. Don't, do no-_t_ make _me_," Joker whined chaotically.

A hand slapped either side of her face, and she nearly winced, when Lee realized it was better to just play dead, sometimes. So with a swallow of remorse, she took his roughhousing until Joker gave up, and released her, turning away and letting out an exasperated sigh.

"So what's the point in bringing used goods along?" Matthew's voice broke the silence, somewhere in front of Lee, probably driving. At least, she assumed they were in a car. Her head broke suddenly in a wave of pain. She had to bite her lips to keep from dry heaving on the car's floor.

Josh snarled. "I, ah, of_ten_ ask…myself the, uh, very. Same. Thing. Abou-_t you_." The car doors unlocked, then locked, and unlocked again. There was a burst of air as the window was suddenly rolled down, up, and down. "Ya know, I don't…_like_…you very much, Matt_hew_. In fac-_t_—" his voice trailed off suggestively, followed by the swish of metal through air.

Coincidentally, Lee decided to raise herself back from the dead.

She nearly moved, when Christopher's pleading yelp sliced the tense car. Josh grumbled to himself, knife slipping back into place. Lee opened her eyes to find her son, and was confused at the darkness, until she recognized a scratchy cloth pulled down over her face.

"Josh?"

"Mmrmphf."

"I gotta go."

The dull thud of an empty, tossed bottle echoed to Lee's left. She flinched.

"No. _Real_ bad," Christopher begged again.

The silenced dragged on for ages. Fingernails were drumming loudly on the dashboard, before Joker made up his mind. "Hmph. Nex-_t. _Exi-_t_, Matty."

"So, uh, what exactly is the plan?" Matthew jerked the car suddenly to the right, and slowed. The car lurched forward again, and Lee rolled slightly. "I mean, you stuck the dude in the trunk, and got her kid, so now what?"

"Unless," Josh hissed, "you p-_lan_ on shoving your jack up your _ass_ anytime s-_oon_, I s-_trong_ly suggest you…uh, shut the hell up and d_rive_."

The car grinded to a halt minutes later, and the door bye Lee's head flew open. Tiny feet stepped over her, and leapt out the door, Matthew's grumbling disappearing with the footsteps. Lee squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on slowing her erratic heartbeat down. Joker hummed a few bars to Gilligan's Island, before breaking off and whistling the Colonel Bogey March

So Christopher was there, safe, that was good. But her—shit. Can't think. Must act. Jeremy was in the trunk. But he couldn't be dead, because that would be absurdly pointless, but then Josh _was_ absurdly pointless. And they were driving somewhere. And by the lack of contorted pain in her shoulders from her current hell-bound yoga position, they hadn't been driving very long. So they were still close, still had time. But Josh would never… So she had to get out. And soon, before—

"You can, ah, open your damn sesame, _Lee_. I know you're u-_p_," he popped his lips several times, before letting out a frustrated yawn. "Knew i-_t_."

But Lee still didn't move, her mind working too fast to focus on Josh's leering gaze in the rearview mirror, which was angled directly at her on the floor. She'd wait. Yeah, she'd wait for Christopher.

"Don't make me brea-_k_ those wheels…turning in your ah, shitted-up hea-_duh_, Lee-sters. I _know_ you. So cu-_t. _It. Out. You're _not_ runnin' away this time."

Suddenly, the car's door slid open. Matthew was steering a frustrated-looking Christopher back inside when Lee's weight hurled against Matthew, knocking him to the ground. Shoving the blindfold and her hair out of her face, Lee grabbed Christopher and nearly broke into a dead run when her son was plucked from her arms.

"Ah, ah, _ah_, sweets. I, uh, _warned_ you." Joker's voice dropped dangerously.

His hands were everywhere on Christopher, patting and petting him reassuringly as he glared down Lee.

"I-I-I w-w-want M-m-m-_mom_," Christopher shuddered, tears spilling down his face.

Lee's heart broke. She took in his red cheeks, and the white puffs of air huffing from his mouth. She glanced up at the clouds. Lee'd lost track of time, and winter was already here. Her eyes traced back to Josh, pleading. "We have to go back."

"N-n-n-_no _f-f-f-_fucking way_, Harley," Joker spat mockingly.

He whirled around and hauled his son into the car, then slammed the door shut. Following a sharp bark at Matthew, Josh hunched over and stalked towards Lee. He caught her roughly by the elbow. Lee winced. "You can't _escape_, Lee, and it's the damndest thing, 'cause, ah, ya see, I've got _him_, and you'd think…once bit_ren_, she'd be trained enough to get the bi-_guh _pic-ture," Joker annunciated, dragging her forcibly away from the car and her way out. "But _no_, we _always_ have to make things so Goddamn difficult. Don't. We?"

"Where are you taking me?" she demanded, jerking back. They were headed towards a patch of trees, out of sight from the car. Out of sight from Christopher. _Oh God. This is it. _

"Kee-_p _walk_ing, _Har_ley_."

"Let go of me, or I swear—" she let out a gasp as Joker pulled her roughly. Her foot caught on something and she fell. Josh let out an oath. His arm slid around her middle and hoisted her into the air, carrying her face down.

"If you don't put me down _now_, Josh Kerit, I'll—"

She fell unceremoniously on the ground.

Josh grunted. "Funny thing…'bout empty threa-_ts_, Quintzel. In reality, ya can't _fill_ 'em. So qui-_t _i-_t_."

"I have to go back."

"Nnn_nnn_-o."

"Damnit, Josh!"

He giggled sardonically, but the danger was still there. "_Damn. It. Lee _Ya know, ya know, _I_ wanna know…what, ah, ex-act-_ly_…is going on in that little," he pointed at his temple shakily and popped his lips, "of yours. Wha-_t_…makes…you…ti-_ck_? 'Cause, here I come, trying to, uh, bring the _fam_ together. What _you_ always, ha, wanted. And suddenly? Cat's got your tongue…and you go all _squeamish_," he shivered violently, fingers clenching as he paced towards her, "on _me_. So I wanna know, _Har-ley_, what it is that's ruffled my pre-_tty_ little bird's feathers."

Lee pulled herself to her feet shakily, crossing her arms. "Nothing."

"Cut the Pinnochio bull_shit_, Hars."

Her eyes thinned to slits. "I've handled it on my _own_ for the past eight years, Josh."

He hunched down more on himself, twisting his head to the side and narrowing his dark gaze through his greasy, unpainted hair. "No-_t_. My. Faul-_t_." His tongue flicked out and worried at his scars.

There was a loud crack behind Lee, and she whirled. But nothing was there.

"Jumpy, _puppet_?" Joker growled in her ear.

"It's '_poppet_', smartass." Lee swallowed, finding her footing, and twisting around. She found herself arching her back, as he leaned over her. "And it _is_ your own damn fault. You…you _left_ me—us. And you _hurt_…" she paused shakily when an ungloved hand cupped the back of her neck to keep her from falling.

He licked his lips, nodding and staring up at her forehead. "Go on."

She switched directions, much to his anger. "Why did you come back?"

"I had a, uh, bone to pi-_ck_ with a g-_irl_ I once…" he trailed off, focusing on her alarmed face and shivering beneath his touch. Josh coughed loudly, pulling away from her to watch her fall violently on her ass again. "Hmm, I once knew."

Lee's face fell. "Knew?"

"Things ch-an-_ge_," he ground out.

She snorted. "God knows you're the living proof of _that_."

"T-_akes_ one to, ah, know one, Misss_ssss_ Quintzel."

"You're a manipulative bastard."

He cocked his brow, hastily swallowing. "And you're a stubborn thorn…in my _side_."

"I _hate_ you."

The atmosphere's temperature dropped and the sky glowered with Joker's barely-contained rage. "Do ya now?"

"I've hated you since the day you left me. Remember that day?" Lee spat. She pulled herself to her feet and stalked over to where he stood hunched against a tree. Shoving a finger into his chest, she glared up at him, all logic fleeing her mind. "You fucking _coward_. You ran off with the next best thing, right? Yeah. Do you know what it's like to be totally alone? To have _not one damn person_ believe the truth? My own shitty psychiatrist—boy was he a trip down _memory lane_," Lee growled. "And _you_. You wouldn't believe me. And it _hurt_. You hurt. You always did. Like a moth to a flame, I stuck with it, though. I had _faith_," she snorted, backing away from him. "Whatever the hell _that_ is. And all that stupid shit you fed me for _years_…about me being _yours_. And you _promised_ me, damnit!"

His hand snapped out and closed over her wrist, jerking her into his chest. "Yer no-_t_…goin' any_where_."

"You throw me away, then reclaim me? How is that fair?!" she shrieked. Her nails dug into his unrelenting hand.

"Oh, you wan-_t…_fair? _Fine_, Lee-sters. We'll give you _fair._ Fair's _fair. _In…what and war? Oh damn i-_t_ all." Joker held on fast as his other hand sifted around his belt, withdrawing a gun from his back. He shoved it in her hands, and pulled them forward to jab into his chest. "We never were ones for double stan-_dards_, Lee."

After the barrel was carefully pinned to his chest, Lee's shock preventing her from moving, Josh's shaky hands came up to hold each side of her face. His thumbs passively stroked her temples.

"What is this? What are you doing?" Her ghost of a whisper struck something deep within him, and his face broke softly.

"Wha-_t_ I've _always_…d-_one_…in your bes-_t_ interest."

Lee's teeth clenched. "You can't be serious."

Josh giggled, flapping his arms for a minute as he half-bowed at her, before resuming his hold on her head. "With _you_ I never c-_ould_ be. But, ah, Harley, this time—I'm dea-_duh_ serious," he annunciated clearly.

Her hand shook fiercely. "If I do this, it'll all be over."

"See, that's the _beauty_ of it all. You p-_ull_ the trigger, and you have to go ba-_ck_ and explain to our dear Topher…wha-_t_…you…d-_id_. _I'll_ be free of charges, and _you_, my sweets, will jus-_t_ begin yours. But, that is of course, _assuming_ you'll get back to him in t-_ime_. Clock's tick-_ing_."

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_One little sip. _

_That's all I was gonna have, I swear to God. _

_But that's what every drunk says, right? Stupid me. _

_I can't even tell you how it had happened. I guess I stayed with Nathan way too long, for starters. He had The Voice. And don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. He has that tone…where it's so calm and soothing he could have probably convinced me I was a one-legged chicken and I'd run around hopping and clucking for days. _

_He probably could have even talked me into killing someone._

_Or loving them._

"_Where are we going?" _

"_A friend's." Curt, unresponsive. So unlike what he'd been the past week. I hated it. I wanted to get out of his car and leave. But he'd asked me to come. So I had no choice. And it's not like Josh could have stopped him, because…well…Josh wasn't there anymore. _

_At all. _

_No phone calls. _

_No eerie somebody's-watching-my-ass feelings. _

_Nothing. _

_Nothing after we'd been assigned detention. My nose had bled during those two hours like Mount Vesuvius, gushing until I nearly fainted and Josh finally broke me out of there to the ER. But, of course, not before he and Nathan had had their rounds. _

"_You're gonna pay for this, you son of a—"_

"_My mother?" Nathan sneered back, throwing himself in a nearby desk. "Oh, she was a lovely woman. Much like Harleen, there." _

_I had sputtered, trying to breathe through my bloody sleeve. "Doncullmehtha." Or in Human, "Don't call me that." I remember desperately pulling myself up to give him a glare, but Josh blocked my view and pushed me hastily back to the floor where I was laying. He pulled my arm away angrily to survey the damage. He took his own sleeve to gently wipe at my face, brows knit in desperate concentration. I snapped a mental picture of him and filed it away. I wanted to remember him like this, caring and treating me like some delicate glass figurine. _

"_Don't you worry your pre-_tty_ li-_ttle_ head, Lee-sters. I'll take care of him…and, ah, you." _

"_Funny. You 'taking care' of her got us into this mess," Nathan grunted, leaning his head down on his desk. _

_Josh glowered over his shoulder. "Plan on being beamed up to the Dork Star anytime soon, jackass?" _

_But he never responded. Of course, I grouchily rejected the trip to the ER, but threats of him "fixing the, uh, damn thing" himself brought me to my senses. He drove me home to an empty house, and left, tires screeching. And I hadn't seen him since. _

_Now, I swallowed down my fear. "Nathan, I don't—"_

"_What?" he snapped. I flinched. This was so unlike him. Then he sighed, tentative smile slammed back into place. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't tell me," he gritted his teeth through a smile, "you've grown a conscience and want to run back, tail between your legs, to _him_?" _

"_No. No, that's not—"_

"_Good. Now, c'mon, Lee. We're just going to a little get-together. My friend's birthday, okay? We'll stay for a little while, then we'll leave." _

"_C'mon. I got you this far, away from him, you know. And, you're so…tense," he emphasized this with a gentle pat on my cheek. "You need to loosen up. And my buddy here, Roy, has got _just_ the thing." _

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"_Why_ is my time running out?" Lee blinked back the burning sensation pressing at her eyes, and she shoved the barrel of the gun harder into his chest. But she couldn't ignore his fingers softly stroking and twisting her hair.

He spoke slowly, as if to a child. "Be_cause_, my _wife_, Matthew is a good dog. And he _listens_, unlike _some_, to his mas-_ter_."

"I'm _sick_ of asking you questions that you don't give a shit about. And _I_ don't give a shit about _you_, so _bugger_ off. Far away, from me and _my_ son. I don't want to see you, hear from you, smell you, ever again! 'Cause if I so much as _do_," she trailed off suggestively, and jerked the gun up, cocked it, and pulled.

Nothing happened.

She let loose a hazed laugh. "I _knew_ it."

Josh licked his lips, circling her. "Har _har_ Har_ley_."

"I _did!_ To make sure I could. So that when the time comes, I'll be able to shove out every figment of affection, and get rid of you. It was never mutual, and you have no effing clue who I am—"

"_Don't._ Don't you d-_are_…act like you're some damn s-_tranger_ to me," he snarled, baring his yellowed teeth, and lifting his chin up to let her view his unpainted face more clearly. His unpainted, painstakingly-handsome face. "'Cause you're no-t." Something pulled at her gut. And it burned.

"I know you like the back of my own screwed up hand," he continued, halting at her back and growling over her shoulder. And it frightened her how clear his voice was, how _normal_. "Two peas in a pod, Lee-sters. Birds of a feather. Two of a kind. Pick one, I don't give a fuck. But I've gotta share and tell, I've come _too far_ to let you make the mistakes I did. So we're gonna go back there, and carry on as p-_lanned_. And that's how our quain-_t_ lil' fairytale's gonna end."

He waited there, on bated breath, hovering over her neck. Lee's chin fell to her chest as she broke through an inner battle.

"I'm doing this for him."

Josh snorted, giving her a shove and following her out of the trees. "Only lying to your_self_, sweets."

When they got to the car, he jerked open the door but held her back for a moment.

"It's _all_ diff-er-en-_t_ now."

Lee jerked away from his grasp. "What, because I had the balls to shoot you?"

"N-O," he growled the letters. "Be_cause_ you had the balls to no-_t_." Josh giggled. "I taught ya better than tha-_t_. Only thing you di-_duh_, aside from making a scene of all tha-_t_ estrogen, is turn the safe-_ty_ on." Those dark orbs probed hers, searching for confirmation.

"You're off your hinge," she snapped, climbing into the car and slamming the door in his face. He pulled it open in retaliation, before crawling in after her. He gripped Christopher by his waist.

"Gotta present for ya, Matty."

Lee crossed her arms over her chest as Matthew took Christopher and buckled him in. "He's only on loan."

Josh slid Lee over his lap to the window seat. And, she noticed, out of reach of the only working backseat belt and her son. The car pulled out of the station. Joker's eyes never left hers, glaring and pinning her into a catatonic position against the window.

She cleared her throat. "Honey, you okay?"

Christopher huffed as he tried to twist his tiny body around to meet his mother's reassuring smile. But his eyes welled up, bottom lip coming out. Lee leaned forward instinctively, but Josh's hand was on her stomach, pushing her back gently but firmly. He shook his head no and kept his palm on her, hands splayed almost protectively.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?" She swallowed hard. Josh could feel the tension seeping off her in waves, she knew. And he would know all too soon why.

"Where's Sissy?"

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**a/n: yay! It's out. Kudos to those who guessed this was coming. And zomg, long chapter. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!! I promise more action will happen…it's slow-moving a bit so I'm sorry, but I simply can't escape from the juicy dialogue of our sexy clown. OH, and fyi, I found a youtube channel, bmfcvp's Channel, or "A Be More Films & ClearVision Pictures" where a guy has done some Joker videos, which are pretty cool. Of course, nothing can match up to Heath's performance, but I simply love the dialogue…and if you close your eyes and switch the pitch up a few notches you can almost pretend it's him? Anyway…just a tip to tie you over with your obsession. REVIEW REVIEW, please? And yes, even to those of you who read this thing and don't normally, or I swear these chapters will get shorter and will appear less often if at all. Yes, that was a threat. ******


	24. Chapter 24

**a/n: I do apologize for my rant last time. Just had to make sure people were still interested. Also, was slightly out of it due to injections. I beg your apologies. College started up again, but never fear! I've decided Benny & Joon is an AWESOME movie. You should check it. & thanks to those of you for the youtube suggestions. I'm officially obsessed with TheJokerBlogs…thanks. A ton. He has a new one up, btw. My roommate now thinks I'm a freak hahahaha… **

**OH, and, guess what? IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY!!! And…sadly the anniversary of Heath's death…sad same date… So…u know…since you can't email me fuzzy monkeys…how bout gimme reviews instead? Wink. Wink. **

**On with the show. Don't own it. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2009 (still haven't gotten used to putting '09)

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In Joker's perspective, you could hear the pin from a grenade drop.

Lee was frightened of the way he _wasn't_ looking at her. But instead, his gaze was pinned angrily on his son, as if it was _his_ fault his mother had gotten impregnated with two children.

"Chris-_topher_…_Lee_…Ow-_en_, is i_t_?"

The boy in question nodded hesitantly, picking up on Lee's shocked face.

"I'm, ah, _really_ hoping," he broke off to clear his throat, then mouthed, "_Sissy_…" Joker trailed off, crossing his eyes at his forehead. After a heartbeat, he leaned further in, squinting at his son from the corner of one eye. "Is the name…of some…_whore_ you pi-_ck_-ed u-_p_ in day_care_—"

"God _damn _it, _Josh!!!_" Lee yelled, picking up her backbone.

The car swerved from Matthew's shit-attack, narrowly hitting a suddenly pissed-off semi driver. Tires squealed, but he regained control, much to Lee's chagrin. She half-wanted to just die there, seatbelt-less and out the window, instead of by Josh's own hands, which, although gloved, were curled to the point of circulation loss.

There was a forced laugh, followed by a seething, "Shut the fu_ck_ u-_p_, Lee. I'm talk_ing_ to, hmm, _my_ son."

"It takes _two_—"

"And we go-_t_ _two_," his high tone sharpened, "li_tt_-le terrors…out of i-_t!_"

Lee's gaze hardened. She pushed herself away from the window and right into his face. "_Don't_."

"Don't what?" he spat, forgetting himself and gripping her violently by her upper arms. Christopher peered further around his seat. His mouth gaped then pressed firmly together, tears spilling over and down his cheeks. He started to cry. Then wail. Then scream.

Joker hurled Lee at the window. Her head connected sharply with the glass, but Joker was too busy pulling himself forward and hovering threateningly over his son. "_Stoppit, Goddamnit, sonofabitch!_" he hissed angrily.

He fisted his gloved hands in the air. They shook with restraint. Lee tried to focus on them, but everything had begun spinning fiercely. She couldn't help it; the seat pitched out from beneath her, and she lost the contents of whatever meal she'd eaten last all over the car's floor and Josh's shoes. The car went awkwardly quiet. Christopher hiccoughed. And Lee concentrated on breathing evenly, but found her stomach churning in pain.

"Sit u-_p_, Lee-sters," Josh sighed, agitatedly wiping his shoes off beneath the front seats.

Lee's face went stark pale as she hugged herself. "I…I really…"

"What the _hell_ is that _smell_?" Joker sneered. He rolled down his window, and then leaned across Lee's bent form to roll down hers.

She groaned. "In…case you hadn't noticed…"

"Mommy threw up," Christopher almost-cheerfully supplied.

Joker bared his teeth. "Loo-_k_, ah, kid. I know we, uh, share the _same_ DNA, and…all, bu-_t_ doesn't mean…I have to p-_lay_ nice."

"Boss?" Matthew questioned worriedly. The putrid stench was obviously bothering him.

The man in question growled. "_Fine_." Matthew pulled the car over with a sigh of relief. He pulled himself out of the car and slammed it shut for fresh air.

The tinted windows blocked Lee's view. But she could tell something wasn't right. Her sides were drumming in agony, and her heartbeat echoed painfully in her head. The car slid to a stop. Joker flung open his door, jerking out into the sunlight before he let out a low oath. He swallowed, coughed, and ran a shaky hand through his hair. Lee could hear him pacing, before he finally slid back into the car, slamming the door shut behind him. He angled his body towards her. He didn't touch, just watched. "Lee-sters. You, uh, you A-Oh-_Kay_?"

She didn't answer.

And simultaneously—"Lee?" "Mom?"

Josh glanced at his son, before reaching over, fingers ungloved, to pull Lee's head into his lap. She was clenching her sides, and shoving her face against his stomach.

Almost too-tenderly, in a feathering touch, Josh reached down and tipped her head up to face him.

He licked his lips anxiously.

Her lips were stained in blood.

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_Six bottles of beer on the wall…and counting. _

_Well, actually, they weren't like…on the wall…more like…over there…everywhere?_

_Over there, yeah. Not over here. Over here with me and some Heath Ledger wanna-be-turned-colossal-nerd-a-saurus, and I forgot his name. Is that lame? Name and lame rhyme. Huh. Funny. I giggled. Jerry or Larry, or Harry, laughed too. And I couldn't stop. _

_My head was pounding. I knew that much. _

_How the hell did I get here? _

_I took a few deep breaths, flipped open my phone and dialed the only number I could think of. _

_It buzzed four times, and I nearly hung up. Until Josh answered. He didn't say anything, just breathed heavily into the receiver. I clung to that lifeline. My hand muffled the phone in some stupid attempt to drown out the music and alcoholics. But I'd failed. He was incensed by the time I pulled myself together. _

"_Josh?" _

_The guy next to me whirled around. _

"_Not _you_." I refocused after a rather loud hiccough. "Look, I need you," hiccough, "to come here," hiccough. _

_A throat cleared. "And, ah, _where_ would _here_ be, Har_ley_?" His cold voice hardly countered my fuzzy brain. I couldn't even put my finger on what the house looked like. And it made me angry. I didn't like his tone. Why was he always yelling at me? Like I'm some child—_

"_Be_cause_, Har_leen_ Quint_zel_, you're…always…a-_ct_-ing like one." Pissy, wasn't he? _

_Wait. Shit. Did that come out loud? I frowned at the phone before shoving it back against my ear. In-between hiccoughs, "I—hate—you. I wish you'd—just leave me—alone. You're like a—a—bad para-para-parsnip." _

"_Parasi_te_?" _

"_Yeah, that too." _

"_Be, ah, careful what you wish for, Hars. You may jus-_t_ wind up…alone." _

_I glared at absolutely nothing. "Jackass, you wouldn't leave me. I've…I've got you—on a leash." Hiccough. _

_There was a low growl on the other end. "Like hell, Persephone. Turn your little ass around and get this straight-_t_." The phone was shaking, I could hear it. Like he was clambering just to keep from crushing it. "You need me. But if you're gonna be lost so far in the throes of denial, then, by all means, be the little girl who cried wolf. And when the fuck did you start drinking, hmm? Don't you _dare_…turn yourself into one of _them_." _

"_News—for you. I _am_ one…of them. Not you. But me." _

"_When you're, ah, liver fails, then give me a ring and let me know how that fitting in shit goes for you." He was getting quieter and quieter. And to be honest, it was scaring the hell out of me that he _wasn't_ fighting me on this. That he wasn't ranting and raving and threatening to gut me if I didn't tell him where I was. That he just accepted it. _

"_You're—not gonna get me?" _

"_Damnit, Harley. You're too out of…reach…this time 'round." _

"_But I've never—" _

_An irritated snort interrupted my excuse. _

"_I'm…I'm at some downtown…I think…I 'dunno, there's beer. And you just left. Again, and I was pissed. These people _smell _and I want to go. I hate you so much sometimes, but then I don't, at all, and it's like you're so hot and—cold with me that I can't make up my mind." I was rambling, grasping that last straw in the cup. "We push buttons, don't—think? I push yours, and you just jab—mine. Josh, point is, I think…I think I—" and the line went dead. He'd hung up on me. _

_I let out an agitated breath, slamming my phone shut. _

_Nathan appeared out of nowhere with another drink for me. _

"_I don't think I should—" but the glass was already at my lips, and it was already scorching my throat. I choked on it, but he just smiled at me and left again. I tried to tell him I wanted to leave. I tried to get up and follow. Some guy pushed me back down on the couch and threw his arm over my shoulder though, and I was too fucked up to argue. He kept talking. He was _so_ loud. Like, screaming in my face. And then there was _another_ drink in my face, and this one tasted funnier than the last, but I gagged it down anyway. _

_Never bite the hand that feeds you, that's what Josh taught me. _

_So I took everything Nathan offered. He was my friend. That's what friends did. Friends did stuff for each other. To each other. Wait, what? _

_My frisky couch neighbor's hands had started wandering, and I just watched them pull at my shirt. They slipped up, and I pushed away. Josh wouldn't like this. Not one bit. So I told this guy, that Josh wouldn't like it. Me being there. And the guy didn't care. He just laughed in my face, and then I giggled because suddenly it was funny to me too. I laughed as his hands slipped around my waist. I laughed as his head nuzzled my shoulder. _

_And then he was on the floor. How'd he…? Oh, I was being pulled up. _

_Someone was taking me somewhere. They had me by my elbow, and I kept tripping over my own feet and was too worried with looking sober to focus on getting free. There were people everywhere. I was forcefully squeezing through them, because my relentless kidnapper wouldn't slow down. I begged him. He ignored me. I started screaming at him. Screaming at him that the walls were closing in on us, that I couldn't breathe, and that my heart was dying. Which didn't make any sense, but it seemed right to say. Because it was the truth, somewhere. In my screwed up life. _

_He yelled back at me. Yelling at me that he didn't care, that I needed to shut up, and that I should just be a good little girl and take it. _

_I told him I hated him. _

_He told me, "Good." _

_Then I saw his face, and babbled that I didn't really mean it. _

_He just grinned. "Yes you did. Don't hold back on _my_ account, Lee." He turned back to face forward, but continued dragging me down the hall. I could barely hear him. "You know, alcohol has a…tendency…to let your lips slip. You say the things you don't say, but you _mean_…to say. So really, your true colors…come out with just…a teensy…weensy…drop." _

_We stopped in front of a door, which he shouldered open, and barked at the couple on the bed to get out. They scrambled for their clothes. I babbled an apology to them. My captor just glared at them, then at me, as they slid out into the hallway. He kicked the door closed. _

"_Sit." _

_What was I, a dog? _

_But I didn't want to disappoint him. So I stumbled to the edge of the bed. _

"_Good girl." _

_The room was suddenly plunged in darkness. I was shaking uncontrollably now. And for quite possibly the first time, I pictured a different face when I looked at him. I wanted someone else. Someone else to help me get out of there. And I knew exactly who that someone was. But if I even so much as thought that name, I'd be in a shitload of trouble. Because he _hated_ him. _

"_Now, we're…friends," he dragged out the word, "right?" _

_I nodded quickly, and then squinted my eyes at the sudden drumming in my head. He nodded back at me, before crossing the room to lock the door. Hope died as that audible _click_ resounded in the surprisingly quiet room. Music and voices had been loud and blaring. But in that room, it was just us. Nothing to interfere. Just like he wanted. _

_I licked my lips as he again crossed the room, but this time to the window. He was peeking through the blinds. I swallowed back the bile. _

"_I'm thirsty." _

_The complaint irritated him. _

"_Oh, so you want to solve that little problem with _more_ alcohol?" _

_It seemed an innocent enough question. So I let out a squeak of confirmation. _

_He sighed and turned to face me. "Harley, Harley. What_ever_ shall we do…with you? My little intoxication? You know…there's, ah…therapy for this little _prob_lem you have. And I can…" he paused to sit next to me on the bed. "I can help." _

_Alcohol was bad, wasn't it? But my veins were pumping with it, and I realized shortly maybe I _was_ addicted. He was right. I needed help. Lots of it. Lots and lots of help. _

"_Okay." _

_His hand was up and around the back of my neck before I could flinch. But the room was suddenly cold, and his hot hand felt good. "But, there's only so much _I_ can do, Har_ley_. You need to help, too." He bent down to peer in my uninterested face. "Can you do that for me? This one…simple little thing?" _

_Apparently silence was the new response for permission. _

_His lips were on mine. _

_He held them there, before deepening the kiss. _

_This was wrong. This was all wrong. I didn't want this, did I? I reached my arms up to shove him away, but they were too sluggish and weighed down, like he'd injected me with lead. The room started spinning, but he anchored me there, pushing me back on the bed. I shut my eyes. I wanted out. I wanted out so bad. But then he was pinning me down with his actual weight, his mouth just beneath my ear. He took a breath, but only long enough to roughly jerk my shirt over my head. We were just friends. Just friends. _

_His hands were skimming shakily and yet firmly. Tentative in their quest to claim something. I shook my head at him. No. No, no, no, no, _no_. Not this way. Not like this. But he ignored me and reached for the buttons on my jeans. My arms were lighter now, and I moved one up to slap, but he gripped my wrist rendering it paralyzed. His mouth was back on mine. _

_And then he pulled away. Violently. _

_His breath fanned over me like a drug. I just stared at him. _

_He narrowed his eyes before pulling up awkwardly. "Don't answer it." _

_I hadn't realized my phone was screaming at me. I begged my fingers to cooperate as I dug it out and glanced at the caller ID. "I have to. He'll be wondering where I went." _

_The cell was snatched from my hand before I could think. He put it to his ear. And waited. _

_It was loud in the background. So he was here, even though I hadn't seen him. So my captor let out a short laugh. The voice on the other end paused, and then spat out a few choice words that would make even a sailor blush. Meant for me, of course. But later he'd tell me he knew who he had been speaking to. _

_I opened my mouth to respond, but could only yelp as my face was suddenly burning. His hand came at me again, and I let out a sharp yelp, which the voice heard too clearly. It started yelling viciously. _

"_I'm sorry, she's a bit…preoccupied…at the moment with being…on the bottom of…things," he laughed bitterly. The cell clamped shut. _

_Something pricked my arm, and I could feel myself going even more lucid. His weight suffocated me, as he assured me I wouldn't remember a thing by morning, and that I should just shut up and enjoy it. He said he would. _

_And somewhere, between the teeth, and the breaths, and the violation, I was still screaming my apologies, for Josh to save me from Jonathan Crane._

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**a/n: baha. I'm evil once again. Gotta love a good cliffie. I personally loved seeing Joker struggle with the father/husband role in the first bit. Must confuse the crap outta him. a little note: Persephone was the goddess of Hades bribed by the lord of the Underworld himself to stay with him by eating underworld food. Josh is, in case it didn't make sense, implying that he is Hades and she couldn't leave even if she wanted to. Just thought I'd throw in some literary cover-ups there, ya know, sneak attacks of brilliance. Also, hugs and girl scout cookies to anyone who can guess the sly meaning behind Christopher's name. **

**Annnnnd wth??? SNOW DAYYYYYYYYYYYY AT COLLEGEEEE!!! Baha…so I spent the past day of my life living in igloos and skating down streets and eating ramen (which is 10% noodles, 90% love, btw, ya know, in case you didn't know). And I have turned into a complete kid again. BUT for you lovely readers, I decided to finish off this chappie and post it for you, wishing you snowballs of happiness and abominable snowmen to kissy kissy. Stay warrrrrm and have fun. ******** and for heaven sakes, get off your computers (after you review of course) and GO PLAY IN IT!!!! For those of you who didn't get snow…major bummer. I'll email you a snow machine. Lotsa love. I'm off to go make a joker snowman and take him home with me. O.O **


	25. Chapter 25

**a/n: a VERY special thank you to my awesome readers: Gamine Madcap, Les Yeux Violets, CaptainJacksBabe, PFpandas, Ashley, ChildOfFate17, Veretai, cRiMsOnGoDdEsS01, College Chica, PhantasmBunny, Veretai, GryffindorHyuuga, Mournsong, Honey450, somethingquestionable, put_here_2_feel_joy, ChrsitineDae17, Penultimate, manhattan please, Lucky Duck 24, Gamine Madcap, tryliving, JokerSmile, LoveAndCoughDrops, giggi02, partbritishtowhead, knit-wear, Jilander-Napier, ScarlettWaters, SpiritFanNumber1, ThenIDefyYouStars, shaid, Taluliaka, Heir to the World, anndddd sooooo many more lovely folks. You keep my painted world from turning to black&white ******

**also, double kudos & shoutouts to my inspirational friend, Paul. This chapter and the next goes to him, as well as my crazy lunchtime friends, even though they don't read this lol. I threatened them with cafeteria food to help me with an idea. **

**I do hope you lovelies weren't as harshly struck by the fantabulous-snow-day-galore ice storm as us Kentuckians. Stay safe & warm out there, peeps. & keep up the support with your loverly Reviews. Hugglez and kisses.**

**Also, word or warning: this first part of the chapter is more from Joker/Josh's point of view. Let's face it…Lee probably doesn't have a lot to say with the puke coming out like Niagara Falls….and I just had a very disturbing image. Ew. Nor can she really think much when…well…you'll see. **

**Final warning: flashback is a bit dark. If you don't like, don't read. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2009

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"Are you _off_ your damn _hinge_?"

Matthew pushed himself further against the car's frame, bracing himself as his livid boss squared shoulders at him and balled his fists. "Look, if you want her to drown in her own blood, then by all means, boss, go ahead." He swallowed.

Joker glared at him. He had no idea where this sudden backbone in his henchman was coming from. He'd obviously been setting a bad example and letting Lee get by too easily with too much. Give them an inch, and they run a mile.

"Why can't _you_ do i-_t_?"

"'Cause I don't give a shit for that bitch."

Instantly, he was up against the car with a knife to his neck. Joker leered over him, tongue worrying his lips and scars. He popped his lips, and then pulled them apart to bare yellowed teeth at Matthew's quivering fear. Like he could _taste_ the fear. Matthew was shaken violently back and forth as Josh took his anger out on the tattered man. Only one thing could stop him. The sound of Lee's hoarse cough reached his ears.

Eyes screwed up at his forehead in worrisome thought, he paused.

"She's _your_ girl. But if she were _mine_," Matthew was choked off temporarily by excessive weight. Joker's eyebrows shot up threateningly. "B-but if _I_ had a…girl…puking…that much…I'd care 'nough…to take her…to help…"

"Le-_t_ me get this…straight-_t_, Matty. You ex_pect_ me…to just let that Low Bar man…_take_…_mine_…alone…into a top-surveillance hos-_pit_-al? And just…sit by without so much as lifting _one_ fucking finger to _coerce_ said nicotine-driven enforcements?" Joker was shaking with barely restrained control, trying so hard not to snap his delicate man in two pieces. He'd found that henchmen were as fragile as China dolls these days. But, he supposed, China had _plenty_ of toy factories to shop from.

There was a beat of silence, then, "That's not at all what I'm saying."

"Didn't. Thin-_k_. _So_."

Matthew inhaled sharply. "I'm saying you need to per_suade_ Barlow into _wanting_ to take your ex-wife—"

"_Wife_," Joker interrupted bitterly.

"—_wife_ to the hospital. A little encouragement, of your sort. Make him think _he's_ in control of the situation."

Josh licked at his lips hungrily. "Con_trol_ doesn'-_t_. Exist. There's a, ah, _point_ when a man tries…but _fails_ all because he lets emotion. Get in. The _way_. Take _you_ for example. Now, Matty, I really like ya, I _really_ do. But I _can't_ let a little thing like our _feelings_ for each other," his voice dropped an octave, shakily, as he pulled out a gun, "get in fate's fucking _way_."

Matthew took a step away, but Joker was on him in an instant. "I'll give you a _goo-_duh…reason to take her in yourself."

"_Dad?_"

Joker rolled his eyes impatiently. "Wha-_t_?" He bowed his head slightly against Matthew's backed-up form, and muttered deadly low, "You damn spawn of _mine._"

Matthew coughed. "Haven't been a father for long, have you?"

"Ya know, that _kid_ has save-_duh_…your worthless, patheti-_c_ excuse for a life t-_wice_ now. Three times and you're _out_." He pulled back, only to take a short threatening step at Matthew who flinched in kind. "And watch your _mouth_. Or I'll cut it _and_ some other _parts_ you value off. Tell me, do ya…do ya have a _kink_ for celibacy?"

"_Dad!_"

"Goddamnit, Christopher!"

He jerked Matthew back against the car and swerved around to the side.

"Boss?"

"Not you fucking _too_," he grumbled, casting a glare over his shoulder.

"Just…go easier on the kid."

When Joker rounded the car, he found Christopher's back facing him, hovering over his mother, who was busy emptying bile all over the concrete. He watched her for a moment, ignoring his son's frantic pleas. Josh's face fell. He paced over to her. Cool hands wrapped around her hair, and held it back. She leaned into the gesture.

He nearly scooped her up into his arms, when a course of anger rushed through his veins. He suddenly realized his son's _frantic_ pleas weren't directed to him at all. Nor to anyone else _there_ for that rather unfortunate matter. But he was too late to jerk the cell phone from his son's ear. The damage had been done.

"Mom-Mommy always _said_…and it _was_ an emergency…and you…you weren't doing _anything_…so I _had_ to," Christopher choked out between hysterical sobs. He broke down against his mother. Lee looked up wearily at Josh, a curtain of hair shadowing half her face. He wished she'd say something so he could yell at her. Half of him wanted to crush her, and the other half wanted to crush her _to_ him.

Hurriedly pulling the phone from a sniveling Christopher, he slipped it back into Lee's jean pocket and reached for her face. She flinched back violently, instincts pulling her son closer. Josh frowned. He rolled his eyes and launched forward, pausing just as suddenly when he caught sight of the spiderwebbed passenger window.

"Lee-sters," he trailed his eyes back to her, reaching for her again. He was faster this time when she jerked, forefinger and thumb trapping her jaw and drawing her to him.

For once, he was at a loss.

"I—I don't—" she swallowed her confusion. He cut her off with a firm kiss, lips eagerly searching her stone-still ones. Josh grew angrier the less responsive she was. He bit at her lip. He could _taste_ her tears, smell her panic as she struggled for air and freedom. Deep inside, it thrilled him that she hated this. That this wasn't what she wanted. That he had to _force_ her to let him be her husband. He growled as her fingers clawed at his bare neck. Trapping her wrists in his hands, he slid his forehead to the crook of her neck, trying to regain control of his emotions. Lee was shaking. Uncontrollably.

And just as quickly, Joker shoved her away from him. Christopher held onto his mother.

She stared at the man before her with dread as he fell back on his haunches then towered above them. "Matt, Ma-_tt_, Matty. Get my, ah, _wife_…in the car. It's time for a little…ha, _dose_ of re-al-i-_ty_ for our dear Jer Bear. _Some_one hasn't been taking his proper medication." He swiveled his wild, unpainted stare to Matthew who instantly attended to Lee. "And we all _know_ how c-_razy_…people can get without their…_fickle_…elixirs."

He gave the trunk three sharp raps before skipping giddily to the front seat and sliding in. His mood transcended like a rollercoaster. Joker glared out the window, drumming his fingers against his thighs.

A violently ill wife. A blubbering panicked son. A busybody psychiatric henchman. A love-sick pup held hostage in his trunk. Damn police on the way. And a little girl somewhere, whom he'd roughly shoved out of his way never knowing she was of his own flesh and blood.

He'd heard once that a parent would do _anything_ for their children.

Glancing at Lee, he figured she would adapt to that mindset quickly, if she had to. And would understand, eventually, _his_ reasoning for everything. He wasn't giving her a choice this time.

He grinned. It _was_ a sickly ironic world they lived in.

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_I sucked in a sharp breath, and curled in on myself, fighting to ignore the welts that raced across my skin and rose into angry lines and bruises. I tried to calm my erratic heartbeat, honing my vision in on the pitch darkness and imagining myself somewhere else. I wasn't here. I wasn't here. I didn't even know where _here_ was. Bad thought. My neck had twisted itself to glance over my shoulder to ensure my loneliness, but something had been pulled and I bit my lip in some stupid attempt to quiet my uncontrollable shivering. _

_It was cold. _

_So _very_ cold. Like I'd been wrapped up in an ice pack. And my body, suddenly noticing just how frightened my mind was, began fighting it. My brain was screaming that something was wrong, and I just needed to lay there and wait. But instinct spit back that I didn't have _time_ to wait. Because Josh was no doubt on his way to kill me. _

_This whole thing wasn't a drill anymore. _

_It was reality. _

_And just as sudden, an overwhelming sense of depression washed over me in pounding waves. I fought it, too. But I was too swamped by the tangled sheets. My legs ached, my arms burned, and my heart wouldn't put itself back together. An invisible weight was tearing me apart, and all I could see was that faceless stranger hovering over me, skin to skin. I raced through my brain for that face, a face to tack onto my story for Josh when he _did_ find me. But there was nothing. It's like my mind had shoved it to the deepest corners of my memory and refused to exploit it. _

_All I could do was tremble at the horrible sadness weighing me down. My body was screaming at me to alleviate the pain. But all I could focus on was how I had no fucking clue what was going on, what had happened, what I was doing here. I didn't know what was wrong. But wave after wave of grief was suffocating me to the furthest reaches of my head, and locking me up. _

_Dirty, unclean, used goods. Whore. Tramp. Cheap. _Used_. Like one of those sluts you laugh at in high school, because you know _exactly_ where they'll end up one day: six feet under with nothing but pet names to lay claim to on their gravestones. I flinched at the names rolling through my head, and choked on the suddenly dry air. _

_I reached to tug my shirt tighter around me, when I realized I wasn't wearing it. _

_I wasn't wearing _anything_. _

_Fear pumped my adrenaline in a frenzied rush as I tripped out of the bed, teeth tearing through my lips as I tried to keep my whimpering under control. My legs slammed into a chair and it toppled over. Something wet and sticky was now soaking my knee. But all that mattered was that my hands were grappling with reality. They felt like dead lead, rooting me beneath the chair. No matter how many times I blinked, I was sure I'd gone blind. Darkness swelled my tearing eyes. Had it been this dark a minute ago? My face was quivering—_I_ was quivering. Like some earthquake had settled in my bones and refused to leave. I fanned my arm and flinched at the scorching pain. No one heard me. Not even when I started crying again. _

_Wiping my face against my wrists, I crawled over the chair, until I finally came into contact with my bra and jeans. My shirt was nowhere to be felt. But I didn't care. Blind as a bat, I struggled for my clothes, sluggishly jerking the bra over my tangled mess of hair. When I'd at least captured my jeans, I hurriedly searched for an adjoining bathroom. _

_Dirty. _

_Dirty. _

_Dirty. _

_I found one set in the back corner, next to the bed. Oh God, I'd never sleep in one again. I'd never _sleep_ again. _

_Making a point not to look in the mirror, I slammed the lights on and off, enough to twist the hot water and be left alone in the dark. I collapsed underneath the hot spray. _

_Soap. I ignored the half-moon fingernail marks on my wrists, and scraped my skin with insane fervor. I had to get it off me. The sweat, the grime. It wouldn't come off. I scrubbed harder, till it felt like I'd run my body through a cheese grater. _

_My lips tasted funny. So I washed those too. _

_I was so Goddamn angry. At myself. At Josh. For ever letting this happen. I didn't have an answer, and being out of control drove me mad, like a rat in a cage. Because I couldn't explain one damn thing, not to Josh, and especially not to myself. And where the hell was Nathan? It's like he'd completely dropped me off the face of the planet. He'd said we were just dropping by. Just fucking dropping by. Leaves me in the arm of a stranger, with alcohol,, and then vanishes. Josh would kill him if he knew he'd left me like this, and now for some complete stranger to steal my…_

_No. _No_. I clenched my thighs tighter together and forced the water to scalding heat. My body was itching and I scratched at it, fingernails tearing. But it wasn't enough. _

_I didn't want to see. _

_I didn't want to hear. _

_I didn't want to _feel_. _

_Anything. _

_Ever. _

_Again. _

_The bedroom's door suddenly slammed open, hinges snapping at the sheer force. I curled further underneath the spray. I didn't want them to see me. If they saw me, it'd happen all over again. There was a shout, and a light. Someone was using their cell phone for light. I briefly wondered why they hadn't turned on the light, but then understanding kicked in. They didn't _want_ to be seen. Caught. Found. Shit. Was _he_ back? _

_My own phone went off, screaming again. The intruder picked it up. "Fan-fucking-tastic." It continued letting out low oaths, as it no doubt discovered my shirt somewhere. _

_The hot water seeped onto my knee, and this time I couldn't contain the sob that exploded from my lips. _

_The light whirled around. It paused for a moment. And then came at me with an unstoppable speed. My fingers clenched for the shower's basket of soaps and shampoos. Clenching around something slender, I shook it in front of me, screaming like a banshee. I didn't want it near me. If it got near me, I'd go away again. And I wasn't so sure I could come back this time. _

_The bathroom's light flipped on. I waved my arm harder, burying my face down against the offending brightness. _

"_Lee? Harley?" _

_I shook my head. No. She was dead. I was so sure. _

_I brandished my weapon again, as the intruder came closer, stooping over and shoving the shower curtain aside. I swiped at him viciously. He let out a snarl. "Drop it." _

_But I didn't have to let it go. One of his hands clasped gently but firmly around my wrist and I dropped it with a cry. He tugged me closer, but I started screaming again. Flinching, he dropped my hand too, and pulled away, hands at his head. He was pacing, in circles, but I could still feel those eyes on me. Constantly. Like he was waiting for me to up and shave him to death again. _

_I didn't want to. _

_No, it was wrong to do that to _him_. He was innocent. _

_But I wasn't. _

_When he'd finally stopped pacing, his back was to me, shoulders hunched and shaking. He was bent, arms braced against the door frame as he no doubt glared down at his shoes. I saw my way out. _

_It's funny how something so small can end everything. Right? Like, take that razor my hands were now gently fondling for example. The way the blades caught the light made me want to cry. Josh wasn't paying attention. He never paid any attention to me when he was trying to figure out how _he_ was going to deal with things. I squared my shoulders, and then twisted my back sideways to him. I wet the razor in the bubbling stream that was up to my waist now. The drain must have clogged. But it didn't matter. _

_I brought the cool metal to my skin, and just as I pressed, I pulled it away. There was a line. And then another one. One more, and—_

"_Jesus fucking Christ, Lee! Drop the razor, _NOW_!!!" _

_Too used to submission, my body reacted involuntarily, and the slender tool slipped beneath the water's surface. I balled my fists, and wailed at him, as he pulled me, half naked, out of the shower's steaming vengeance. I hit him. Over and over again. I yelled. That he should just go ahead and kill me, because I couldn't take that I'd been so disloyal to him. _

"_Shhh, easy there, Lee. C'mere. No, no, shush. Don't…don't do _that_," he begged. "Lee-sters, stop it. Shit, stop it right _now_. I don't…I don't know what to _do_ when you're like this." But the pleas faded away when I met his eyes. They were filled with betrayal. _

"_I—"_

"_It wasn't your fucking fault," he growled back, jerking me closer. My wet jeans were soaking, and he seemed to have either forgotten or not realized I was only clad in a bra up there. Instead, he pressed me to him, melding us like super glue. His hands were shaking, and pawing at my damp hair. His face was everywhere, nuzzling at my cheek, then burying in my neck, then hair. Like he didn't know how to hold me. He'd crush me, then shove me away, and pull me back again. And I let him, albeit limply, but I still let him. _

_Something, somewhere, in the back of my head, told me he needed this more than I did. _

_I fought him, enraged at my selflessness. "Stop it, Lee. Hey, _hey_, easy girl. There's my girl. No, shush now. Whoa there. Lee, will you shut up and relax?!" He was trying to hold me down. And I guess eventually fatigue won out in the end. _

_He hauled me up into his arms, wrapping his leather jacket around me. He tucked my head under his chin. "J-Josh, I don't…" I cut myself off. I sounded so damn weak. Frustrated, I tried my voice again, but it failed. _

"_It's okay, Lee-sters. You're okay. I've got you. No one's gonna hurt you, you hear me? No one's got you but me, Lee. Nothing happened. It's all in your head, easy, okay? No one's gonna touch you. They're not gonna get you." _

_Oh my God. He didn't know. How could he not know? How _could _he know? My jeans were covering most of the bruises. It had been too dark for him to make out the bed enough to know I hadn't been the only one in it. He'd only seen me breaking down in a shower, like some depressed, pill-addicted maniac off her bloody fix. Maybe he hadn't realized the phone call, what exactly was going on. But he _had _to, didn't he? _

_So I pulled my face up, and immediately confirmed my fears with my next words. _

"_They already _did_." _

_His face said it all. _

_No, Josh Kerit had no fucking clue I'd been raped._

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**a/n: thank you all for your reviews ******** Oh gosh…I loathe James Joyce…my heart goes out to you stuck on him. Thanx for the bday wishes as well. One last clue regarding Topher's name before I spill it in the next a/n: Look closer at his initials and the name itself. It's more of a…creative spin, than anything to do with nolanverse or Batman in general. C'mon, my friend figured it out and he's not even reading this! Christopher Lee Owen. Have at it. And, regarding the name Josh Kerit, I wanted to test a diff. name, instead of Jack Napier. The new name has meaning as well. I'm a sucker for twisting words & letters. Anyway. Enjoy & leave me stuff. I'm contemplating redoing the first chapter to make it longer and quit scaring people away with its boredom. Lemme know what you think. Lovelz peeps. **


	26. Chapter 26

**a/n: LONG a/n, but bear with me, it's all important. Followed by a LONG CHAPTER though. huge kudos and Glasgow smiles to Gamine Madcap, CaptainJacksBabe, Beowulfwulf, PhantasmBunny, 00 BodySnatcher, GryffindorHyuuga, Lucky Duck 24, anonymous (whoever you are!), Mournsong, AdamKitten, somethingquestionable, darkkblood, put here 2 feel joy, Ashley, PFpandas, nevabeenkissd (w00t girl for getting an account on here!), Jeremy M23, **

**thanks again for my lovely reviews and belated birthday wishes! You people know how to make a sick girl happy. Doom on this changing weather, I swear my head turned into a weather barometer. Hoorah for ear & sinus infections and bronchitis! I've been more than a little loopy, so let's hope this chapter doesn't lose its focus. Okay, maybe more like…pray to the Amoxicillin gods it doesn't drown itself into a big fat hole. Apologies in advance if anything seems off-track in this chapter… And yes, I did change the summary…I felt like seeing something new on there, maybe draw more people in. **

**clarification: Lee doesn't know it was Nathan—and that'll be explained later, but as a heads up, which I need to explain better, he's the psychotic guy who's interested in fear and drugs, correct? So what better way to test his earliest chemistry experiments than a memory-induced serum on Lee? Anyway…all shall be revealed…well not all, but some, in this chapter. Maybe. Bahaha. Doom on our melting snow. It's a river of mud outside. Fun for…rolling and…stuff… Also, last chapter or two, I was **_**trying**_** to confuse you guys…throw in another twist, make you think it was Josh who raped her. But if you go back and read the dialogue, it practically screams Crane. **

**Also. I realize this story is dark, and not exactly the happiest thing ever…but there rarely seems to be bunnies and overflowing rainbows when it comes to Joker's chaotic world. I do, however, promise more…bright shiny things in flashbacks. As a part of the healing process. But the present has too much going for it to let Lee and Josh sit down and have a pillow fight over a cup of hot chocolate, catch my drift? Also if you need help envisioning what Josh looks like in the past, imagine Patrick from 10 Things I Hate About You (fav. Movie eva). **

**don't own it, but the plot and Lee's characterization, as well as other characters, are mine. **

**Mild warning: lots of language in this chapter. Kind of. Just more so than usual. Must be the meds. And some bits of fluffy goodness too though. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2009

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"_Are you—"_

"_No." _

"_Can you at least—"_

"_No." _

"_I just wanna—"_

"_No!" I snapped shakily. If Josh Kerit asked if I was A. O. K. one more time, I swear I'd shove his P's and Q's so far up his ass not even surgery could remove them. _

_It had taken him a dozen tries to calm me down before he'd finally resorted to wrapping a firm hand around my head and ignoring my gnashing teeth. He'd hauled me into his arms and against his chest like a sack of potatoes. I winced. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want to be touched ever again. And a quick kick to his balls made my nonverbal opinion quite clear. _

_He'd dropped me then, beating the wall with a fist and shaking with barely controlled restraint. I bowed my head, trying to block out the blinding light coming from the fluorescents and the windows. I hadn't realized how much time had passed. He glowered at me through his damp curtain of hair, lips curled inward. I shoved myself against the wall and waited. Josh reached for me again, but I shot out that I could do it myself. He threw his hands up in the air. _

"_Of course you can fucking do it yourself!" he roared. "Your bruises are living proof of _that, _Harley." I watched him march jerkily past me and down the flight of stairs. He collapsed on the bottom step, bowing between his legs as his fingers pulled through the roots of his hair and stayed there. _

_I was scared out of my mind. _

_Not merely because of what had happened. Or what I'd gone through. _

_But because of how _Josh_ was taking it. _

_Or…more the way he _wasn't_ taking it. _

_I tried to hold it back. I swear I did. But my stomach had other thoughts and demands, which were apparently higher on the priority scale than my weak protests. So I bolted as fast as my shaking limbs allowed back into the bathroom. I slammed and locked the door shut, just barely reaching the toilet in time. _

_My vision was swimming by the time I'd finished. Great. So not only was _I_ disgusted with myself, but mys_elf_ was disgusted as well…as much as that can make sense. _

_I hugged the porcelain close to me, afraid that if I let go too soon, the whole room would pivot out from under me again and gravity would have lost all say in my fate. So I clung on to something. Because heaven knows Josh wasn't there to hold onto. He was too busy dealing with his newfound male 50,000 leagues-beneath-the-sea soft side. I snorted. Emotions and Josh went together like oil and water. Aside from the anger—they just didn't mix. _

_The knob on the door twisted back and forth slightly, before the opposing side realized I'd locked it. "You okay in there?" _

_I opened my mouth to reply when a second wave of nausea slammed home. When I'd purged myself empty, I slid back to the floor feeling clammy. _

"_Guess not," he mumbled, before trying the handle again. As if my volcanic bowels had the power to unlock it. I watched the door shake with fading interest. I decided I didn't care anymore. "Unlock the door, Lee." _

_I just stared at the wall. _

"_Lee? God, I know you're in there. Unlock the damn door. _Now_." _

"_I can't." _

"_The hell you can't, Harley! I don't have time for games. Now open up this door before I break it down." I could hear the panic in his voice. The sirens had started up again, and there were feet roving downstairs. I shivered involuntarily. My wet clothes were chafing my skin in a thin layer of icy sweat. _

_The door blew back in on itself. Josh barely hesitated as he pocketed the knife and pulled me into his hold. "I told you to open the damn door, Harley. I _told_ you," he muttered harshly, swinging us around as he charged out the door and down a back set of stairs. He braced us against a wall until the coast was clear. When we'd made it safely outside, Josh tightened his grip. _

"_You have to trust me if I'm gonna get you through this, Lee. You hear me? God. You are so screwed up," he ranted, hardly joggling me or my faraway mind. His words grew fuzzier and fuzzier until it was just an echoing drone. I watched his lips move, then teeth snap, thin jaw clench as he regarded me coolly. He was saying my name, over and over. When we'd reached the car, my entire body and brain had gone numb. My eyes slid closed when he'd buckled me in, and the engine roared to life. I felt the floor pitch out from under me again. I struggled to stay upright. _

_I was in hell. Total, complete hell. It's like my motor functions had lost control, permanently imprisoning me with Josh. I glared at him from the corner of my eye. There was a gleam in his, but his lips were pinched down in a thin, unrecognizable line. He wouldn't look at me. He hadn't looked at me for the past thirty minutes. At least, not in the eyes, anyway. Like he was afraid of what he'd see in them. _

_I hadn't even noticed where we were going until the car slammed to a squealing stop. I groaned, pitching forward in my seat. Josh shoved his door open, then violently shut. I scrambled for my own seatbelt. _

_Big no no. _

_Just as I'd worked the door open, fighting the sudden black and white vision, Josh was there, snapping my head off. I flinched back, my vertebrae pinned painfully against the armrest._

"_Sit down, shut up, and _listen_ to me!" Josh pulled in and lingered over me. His fingers traced around and cupped the back of my ear. At any other moment, I would have wilted into a puddle. But the danger was still there in his glacial gaze. "I'm gonna fix this, but only if you _let_…me, Harley Quintzel. Got it? I swear, I'm not gonna…" he sighed loudly, wiping a hand down his face, "I'm not gonna…hurt…you anymore. I'd _never_—"he choked off quite suddenly. He searched my face, finding what he wanted, then leaned back and left me alone in the car. _

_I didn't move a muscle until he came back. _

"_Josh, I'm so—"_

"_Save it. I don't…do _not_…want to hear you apologize again…for something…that _was not_…your fault. Hmm? Understand me?" _

_I nodded. _

_He snorted. "Peachy." _

_I looked down as Josh shoved a bottle of pills into my frozen fingers. "What's this?" _

"_What's it look like?" The car shifted into reverse, and we were off again. "You hungry? Can't take those," he looked pointedly at me, a mixture of grief and aggravation written all over his face, "on an empty stomach." _

_Like a stupid illiterate, I just glared. "Josh. What is this?" _

_I was awarded a grunt this time. "Sunshine and fucking lollipops, Lee. What else does it need to be? Jeeze." _

_I gave in, squinting as my vision doubled the letters. "M-m-morn…morning _after_?!" I screeched. Josh stomped down on the breaks at a yellow light. He jerked the bottle out of my hands and twisted the cap open. Dumping one in his hands, he threw the remainder back in the sack, and shoved the offending capsule at me. _

_I stared him down. _

_But my quivering lips realized this wasn't a game anymore. His deadly look said enough. _

_The words were ground out, painfully slow and lowered a few octaves. "Unless…you want…to keep it?" _

"_Look, we don't even know—"_

"_Take the damn pill, Lee." _

_We pulled into the nearest McDonald's. I couldn't take my eyes off the tiny capsule in the palm of my hand. When I glanced up at the bright yellows and reds, my stomach dropped. "Oh, I get it. As if the rapist wasn't enough, let's tack on death by McFatty Patties, shall we?" I forced out a laugh. But Josh didn't find it funny. Not. One. Bit. _

_I let out another whimpered chuckle. "You, uh…you have a thing for grease of mass destruction?" _

"_You, uh…" he mocked. "You have a thing for swallowing down dry pills and puking them back up? 'Cause I've got _plen_ty more where that came from." Josh paused. "Don't you _dare_ fight me on this. If not for me, do it for yourself, huh?" _

_Something for myself. _

_That sounded okay. _

_After a few minutes, I'd managed to down a double cheeseburger (grudgingly eaten) and a small fry (I could feel my fat cells expanding). With a final sip of watered-down Dr. Pepper, I swallowed the pill. Josh scrutinized me with narrowed slits. _

"_Open." _

_I gaped. "Excuse me?!" _

"_Your mouth, Lee-sters. Open it." _

"_What, so you can force feed me another dozen amputated body parts in support of serial killer clowns? Or how 'bout advertising me for the next Super Size Me episode? I think not, you son of a bitch." _

_Josh's eyes thinned further. "I'm going to hope that's the pill killing your hormones, and let that one slide. When I said 'open your Goddamn mouth', I just wanted to see that pill gone, not get beaten to death by some PETA infomercial." _

_Glowering, I grabbed the cap of pills and downed two more, chewing them angrily in his face. "Does this calm your precious bastard fears of having to be a father anytime soon?" _

_If it were possible, Josh glowered even more. "I swear to God, Lee, if you die of birth control overdose, I'll—" but he cut himself off short, mumbling under his breath. _

"_Where are we going?" _

"_Doc's. Time for your checkup." _

_I frowned. "I hate—"_

"_Love ya too, Harley." _

_I ignored his first confession. He didn't mean it. My eyes burned. He didn't mean it. Just a means to an end. _

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The car was parked just outside Chattanooga's walk-in clinic. Jeremy was tugging wildly at his numb arms, which had been regretfully folded beneath him for the past several hours of drive. He grunted at the bruised skin. And found himself reflexively searching for Lee.

He'd heard most of the conversation from the trunk. So that bastard had dutifully plagued her with a son _and_ a daughter. And on top of that, he hadn't even _known_ about the little girl. God, Lee had a thing for secrets. Just watching her as she peered out the back windshield, he could _see_ the furtive ideas swirling around. Fight or flight. The basic instinct they both shared. It's what made them _human_, whereas Joker… Jeremy wiped a tired hand over his greasy hair. This Joker guy was on a completely different and unreachable level. A demigod, as it were. Of destruction. Hate. And passionate insanity. All because of Harley Quintzel.

"You, uh, knit, do you, Jer Bear?"

Joker came around in front, strategically blocking Jeremy's view of the confused-looking woman.

"Uh, _no_."

"Hmmm," the paint-less clown nodded sympathetically. "You're about to _learn_. See, we're about to knit a stitch in time. 'Cause I gotta get _her_," he jerked his head back towards Lee, "in and out of _here_," he nodded again, "within forty-fucking-five minutes."

Jeremy grunted again. "Then _do_ it. No one's stopping you."

Joker waved a hand dismissively. "_I_ can't be seen. Paparazzi and…all that jazz. My fans would have a _field_ day over this. So, to keep my celebrity zeal on a down-low, I've, uh, I've got to use you. My personal…ticking _time_ bomb, to get _my_ Achilles heel…fixed." His now-gloved hand dove into the pocket of his trench coat, fishing around. Jeremy took an unsteady step back, only to have Matthew shove him forward. He hadn't been ready for the whiplash. But Joker was.

His mouth was open, trying to suck in a truckload of air, when he noticed something small crammed between his teeth. He tried to cough it up, but found leather slamming his jaw shut, and pinching his nose closed.

"Swa-_llow_. Be a good little patien-_t_."

Jeremy shook his head wildly, but his body betrayed him in its need for air. The pill slid down his throat. Joker released him obediently. Jeremy doubled over, clenching his sides.

"Best to just bi-_te_ the bulle-_t_ in these cases, Jeremy. You have," he glanced down at a watch-less wrist, then bent down to stare up at Jeremy's red and quivering face, "forty-two minutes. Not to, uh, beat a dead horse, but…_oh_, ha, do ya like soap operas?"

Jeremy glanced up at Joker through his overgrown bangs, clenching his teeth and blowing out hot air. "Y-you're fucking insane."

"'Like…like _sands_ through the hourglass,'" Josh giggled, pulling up and grabbing Jeremy by the hair, "so _ends_ the days of _your _life. Time's running. Better go _catch_," he hurled Jeremy towards Lee's side of the car, "it."

"What the _hell_," Jeremy gasped, wrenching open the car's door, "am I supposed to do about it?" He redirected his attention. "Lee? Hey—" he reached in for her, but she curled against the opposite side of the car, dragging her son with her. Jeremy frowned. "She doesn't want to."

"Women _never_ want to. Some people just need…proper…moti_vation_."

"Like?"

"Like," Joker drew out the word, tucking his hands behind his back innocently, "If you don't get Lee back to _me_ in thirty-_nine_ minutes, you die."

"Bullshit! I thought you were going to give _her_ motivation?!"

"I never _specified_," he swallowed thickly, "who would get the cattle prod. Now ge-_t_. Scram before…"

"Holy shit, what the _hell_ did you put in that pill, you sick f—" Jeremy braced himself against the open car door, doubling over again in a sheen of sweat.

Joker wagged his finger. "Ah, ta, ta, such _lang_-uage," he drawled.

"What. Did. You. _Do?!_"

The man shrugged, turning his back on Jeremy as he trudged around to jerk Lee's door open. She nearly fell out, but he caught her, gathering her splayed limbs in his arms. He quirked a brow at his son before hauling Lee's quivering body against his chest. Jeremy watched through hazed eyes as Joker leaned over and nuzzled his forehead to Lee's. Lee. Who looked like a caged rabbit. Frightened and confused.

Without looking up, Josh sucked on his scars in mild contemplation before answering. "I, ah, I took your medication's strength up a few notches. Wen-_t_ from…generi-_c_…to…ah, poison." His dangerous eyes trailed back up to the hovered young man, darkening with protective rage. "I coated the damn _pill_ with some _lovely_…little…toni-_c_…of mine…ah, with a few _active_ ingredients. Should the plan fail. You have…I believe it's…thirty-eigh-_t_…minutes left."

"You _poisoned_ me?"

A shrug. "More or less."

"So what, I'm just…I'm just supposed to _want_ to spend my last thirty-eight minutes on this fucking planet taking care of a girl who doesn't give a _shit_ about me?!" He groaned at the unfairness of it all.

Joker frowned. "One man's _shit _is another man's para-dise. And you're a-_bout_ to give a _damn. _ I have the antidote to _keep_ you on this _fucking planet_."

"And the catch?" He pulled himself up, swallowing his bruised pride.

"No strings attach-_duh_. 'Cept, well…" Joker chuckled heartily. "My little ventriloquist here is an _excellent_ puppeteer."

"I thought you said _you_ had the antidote."

"Oh, I _do_. But _she's_ tugging at _your_ heartstrings. Poison's enough of a motivation, righ-_t_? To get away with this? But, see…I needed an insurance policy…that you'd be kept on a short leash after. Sure, there's poison on it, but it's what's _in_side that coun-_ts_. A few…explosive qualities shy of a betrayal. And our little Harley, ah, here…is getting the det-on-at-_or_ for an early birthday…presen-_t_."

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"_What did…what did you just say?" We'd gotten into the clinic fairly quickly, but it seemed ages had passed as the gynecologist probed and tested. Josh had insisted he be present and I'd denied him access over my dead body. But when all was said and done, they'd let him in with me to wait for the results. And with my heart in my throat, I clung onto him as the doctor's words fumbled over clipboards and machines and test tubes. His diagnosis was complete bullshit. It had to be. He hadn't been there. What would he know? God, I could still feel those hands all over me…_

"_Lee-sters," Josh's voice took on an odd edge. "You told me you were—"_

"_Shut the fuck _up_, Kerit," I snapped. But I couldn't stop clinging to him. Like if I let go, I'd plummet through the earth's ass and out the other end to who knew where. My palms were sweaty. Disgusted, I pushed myself away from Josh, rolling onto my side on the paper-covered table-top. I curled up. _

_Josh's hands were on my shoulder to pull me back, but I flipped him the finger, and shoved him off. I _knew_ me. I was the only one who believed me. _

_The doctor sighed and left us alone abruptly. After a minute's silence, Josh rounded the table to crouch down and glare into my face. _

"_Damnit, Harley." _

"_I _told_ you," I was crying. "I _told_ you. Why won't you believe me?" _

"_Doctor's a bit more of a professional than _you_, Lee." _

"_But—"_

_Josh swore at me, backing up and wrenching the door open. _

"_You weren't raped, Lee. So get the fuck over it." _

_And the door slammed. _

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**a/n: oh my goodness. Two cliffies?! You people owe me big!! Clearing up some future confusion: surprise, Lee wasn't raped, but she thinks she was. All due to our lovely Crane's experiment. If you remember, she felt a prick on her arm before…yeah. And Josh doesn't believe her. Can you imagine the chaos this will create in their relationship?! **

**I overcame the plague, but weird McDonald's facts were discovered upon this chapter. For instance…my blind eyes were disgustingly opened to the fact that there are no real animals in their food. My naïve 19-year-old self is scarred for life now. Secondly, there was a serial killer named John Wayne Gacy who was, in fact, a clown. McDonald's profit went down after that. Stupid, stupid clowns. Anyway, as always, if you read it, please tell me what you think through that lovely Review option. Kay? Kay! **

**For Gamine Madcap, I read A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man—about 5 parts of gruesome hell in that. I'll take it from you **_**not **_**to read Dubliners. **_**Oh**_**, and now for our lovely confession upon Christopher's name: C. L. Owen, partially spells Clown. So congrats to PhantasmBunny ******

**00 BodySnatcher: lol yes it is. You're welcome to anytime! **

**PFpandas: LOL. Oh goodness. You're close, girl. Made me laugh though. I promise it'll come into play later. **


	27. Chapter 27

**a/n: Whoa, a month went by? Weird. Thank you so much to my lovely readers & reviewers. I beg your forgiveness—college has recently eaten my soul. And right as I come out of the eternal bog of papers and midterms, I find myself plagued with ADD due to the AWESOME weather outside…I've been out at the barn lately, but those drives help with plotlines & inspiration. I am in no way abandoning this story, I promise. But know I'm working on this and a few other one-shots/possible stories for Labyrinth as well. My heart's being fought for by a clown and a Fae. How typical. **

**I do apologize for the touchiness of rape in the past few chapters. I should most definitely **_**not**_** update chapters when I'm sick. My head wasn't screwed on straight. Please forgive me.**

**While overcoming the plague, I, however, extracted a disease for country music. I do believe I'm delving into my redneck Kentuckian roots. Oh my…**

**Don't own it. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2009

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Lee could barely wrap her arms around what was going on. The world around her was bending and hazing, the corners melting into a befuddled mess of confusion, reducing her memory to a pile of rubbish. It was as if she was seeing the world through a blurred film. And there was nothing she could do except come to terms that she just didn't _know_ anymore.

Sure, something was nagging at her brain. It was picking apart the recesses of her life, dissecting them one by one, and filing them away as if they were trivial remembrances that didn't mean anything. Or shouldn't. She wasn't quite sure which. The only thing Lee Quintzel knew for sure was that she _didn't_ know. She couldn't remember. Anything. Her only clues were the gnashing headache eating away at her sanity, and the child sobbing in her arms. Lee frowned down at him but tugged him close just the same, smoothing her hands over his head and through his hair. The boy squeezed tighter, burrowing into her warmth. She welcomed it lightly, fogged eyes casting a worried glance out the window. They were fighting again, profanity spilling through their lips like a leaky faucet. Lee didn't like the way he kept glaring in at her, she didn't like the way they roughhoused, and she _certainly_ didn't like being plucked from the car's safety.

It felt wrong. It all felt so wrong. The way her body naturally leaned into his touch, the way it bent against her wishes and curled right up into his snare. And how _easily_ she welcomed his caress, the way they just fit, physically and, much to Lee's chagrin and his obvious delight, emotionally.

Lee shifted—as much as she could in his possessive hold—uncomfortably. He looked at her more like she was a piece of meat, instead of a human. She watched his scarred lips pulse in and out, before that serpent's tongue lathered at them. He was frowning, lips moving in a smooth, simple masculinity, and it took Lee a minute to realize the threats weren't being issued towards her, but at the man across from them.

She fixed her gaze away, fear seeping into her veins.

The other man was practically crumpled on the ground, fingers splayed across his stomach. Familiarity stung at her memory, his name at the tip of her tongue. Lee twisted her head back around to yell at the one holding her, when her stomach felt as if it had nose-dived off the Empire State Building.

With a speed almost inhuman, she found herself twisted in the air, and doubled over, hair pulled back from her face and arms holding her upright as her own stomach twirled and wrung itself out.

"Shit, Lee-sters, how much more do you, ah, have _in_ there?" the voice over her shoulder whined painfully. Like a dog, griping at his master's misery.

But, as she licked her lips disgustedly, Lee had a funny feeling that in reality, those roles were reversed.

"I think…I'd better get her inside now." The other man on the ground pulled himself to his feet. She watched him swallow his pride and take a few steady steps towards them, reaching out to her. Lee cringed at the familiarity of it all, finding herself _again_ leaning into her captor's touch. Maybe he wasn't so bad. A few scars never hurt anybody. Maybe he'd help.

"No shi-_t_, Sherlock. Have we _always_ been the, uh, sharpest crayon in the box, Jer-e-_my_?"

_Jeremy!_ Recognition dawned as something shifted in her mind. Before she could verbally test the name, she was unceremoniously ushered back to wobbly legs, arm practically ripped out of its socket as it was hoisted around the pained man's shoulder. She changed her mind with an air of steeliness regarding the scarred idiot.

No, he was definitely a psychotic dumbass.

"For per-_suasion_, should the…need a_rise_," a gun was shoved into this Jeremy's belt, followed by the tug of his shirt to conceal the weapon. "And, ah, don't forge-_t_. Your life's the stakes, here, ah, Bar_low_. Either way, you're…_stuck_…with this. Antido-_te_ for a fixed toy. And…and af_ter_? If our pup _fails_ his obedience school—_boom. _No betrayals. One Freudian slip of the lips, and you'll be _all…over…_the place. You have thir-_ty_ minutes." He slipped into a fit of hysterics, fisting the bottom of his shirt and pulling, as if straightening out the coat.

Lee opened her mouth to object to the mishandling of her form by a juvenile delinquent when another spirit of pain licked its way over her head. She moaned. When the hell had her head decided to split open?

"Lee?"

Her name. That was her name. She blinked. The scarred face was up against hers, pressing his chaste, heated lips to her own in a quick fight for dominance. Before she could reject, they were gone again. "Do. _No-_t. Die. On me. No-_t_ allowed." There was something in his eyes, hidden behind the toying gleam. His face became serious as he reached up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear, like someone else was breaking past this hostile freak. Lee watched his Adam's apple bob in thick hesitation. "Hey you, this isn't…isn't a, ah, touch and go option…here, uh, Lee-sters. No fucking games, oh, o_kay_?"

Lee hated the way her body was responding to his touch and voice, a pool of warmth settling languidly in her abdomen. The fact that this disgusting _freak_ was turning her on was almost a valid reason to die. Without even twisting her arm, she was giving in.

Apparently her expression was confirmation enough for him, because he roughly tousled her hair and sent them on their way, never looking back as he climbed back in the car with the little boy. A little boy that looked a _lot_ like _her._ And…and _him_? No. No way in hell. But then when she caught site of his little face peering out the back windshield, something in her heart snapped, and she just _knew_.

"Put me down," she begged, suddenly longing to feel solid earth beneath her.

"Look, we're almost inside, and then you can lay down all you want, okay, Lee?" Jeremy was jostling her upset intestines_ way_ too much.

Her spine bristled with rebellion as the walk-in clinic's doors closed behind them. "Put me the f—" she choked off, hands clapping over her mouth as another spout of traitorous bile crept up her throat. Eyes wide, Jeremy nearly held her away from his body as he ran up to the sign-in desk.

"Don't you _dare_ puke your guts out all over me, Lee. I know you hate me, but for _my_ sake, let's just leave your chunks on the inside, okay? Where they belong." He glanced up at the nurse filing papers. She chewed on her pen for a moment before turning to scrutinize them through bug-eyed spectacles.

"May I help you?"

"My wife. Emergency," Jeremy grunted, heaving Lee up and back against him for a better hold.

Lee snapped through her protective fingers. "Too _fat_ for you?"

His face darkened. "Hardly fat enough, Lee. Look at yourself, would you? Skin and bones. I mean, shit, does he even _feed_ you?"

Lee opened her mouth to object when the woman before them cleared her throat obnoxiously. "Need you to fill out these forms." She slammed a dozen pages before them, handing them a chewed pen with an annoyed glare. "You can go sit over there," she nodded, glasses sliding down her monstrous nose, "and give them back to me. Then I'll see what the doctor—"

In a childish fit of outrage, Jeremy swiped at the pages, sending them fluttering back and around to the floor. If it were possible, the nurse behind the desk scrunched and twisted her face with even more hatred.

"This. Is. An. E-mer-gen-_cy_," he spat, swinging Lee around so her green pallor and stained lips were seen clearly in the light.

"You're no different from the other six," she croaked in reply, gesturing to the waiting groups hunched behind them, families gazing at the scene with sneering impatience. "Wait your turn, _sir_. Or I will have to call the authorities, if there is a problem."

Lee shivered at the sudden drop in temperature. The way Jeremy's face set in hard, stubborn determination. "Are you fucking serious?" he hissed.

"Your tone."

Grumbling, Lee felt Jeremy shift his weight as he held her up with one arm, the other going towards his back. "I don't have time for this." He jerked out the gun and aimed the barrel at the nurse's forehead. "Tell the doctor he's got a patient. Pronto."

Her crossed eyes bobbed as she stared down the weapon's eye, slowly pulling to her feet.

"No. Use the phone."

"Jeremy, I don't think—" Lee tried to plea with him, puzzle pieces jammed and trying to click back into place.

Jeremy glared down at her, hand shaking with the weight of the gun, but his expression softened considerably when he read the despair on her features. "Lee, I'm not…you should know I'm not…"

"—doing this for me?" she interjected hotly. That something was there again, pricking at her brain in some sick confirmation of truth. She didn't need him to answer her. She knew it. And at the same time, she knew it _didn't_ matter.

_Josh._

Familiarity. Confusion. Loss. Lust.

The name had sprung out of nowhere, but it chanted over and over like a broken-record mantra in her head. _The man in the parking lot._

Before Lee could delve further into herself, a loud voice cackled over the loudspeaker. "Yes, Martha?"

Martha immediately reached for the pager phone, clambering to keep it still against her ear. But the gun was in her face again. She didn't need to be told to sound convincing. "Emergency, Doctor."

Her eyes glazed over for a moment, nodding at the present-less man. "Yes, yes, I know, sir. Yes, sir. I _told_…yes, sir. Ah, wait just a moment, sir." She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. "Have you been a patient here before?" She didn't wait for a reply though, the lack of obediently filled paperwork enough proof for her. "Yes, sir. Alright. Yes, right away." Martha slammed the phone back into its cradle, pushing back her chair and rising up to her height of five-foot-nothing. "Follow me," she spat, mustering up as much wrath in her voice as was allowed with the black barrel pointed at her chest.

They were led into an empty room with one window, an island of sinks and medication, a medical examiner's table and a chair. Jeremy laid Lee out on the table. Martha gave them a brisk nod before moving to exit the tiny space.

"Martha?" Jeremy called, eyes never leaving Lee.

She froze, hand on the door. "Mmhm?"

"Hurry him up. And don't do anything stupid."

Eyes like saucers, she quietly slipped from the room.

"You're not going to hurt her," Lee ordered, but her eyes gave away her questioning confidence. Jeremy sighed, pacing over to the window and picking at the blinds. He peered outside before whirling around and leaning against the ledge, folding his arms and legs. Lee felt restless under his accusing gaze, so she lay back against the crinkly paper and counted the ceiling tiles.

"I'm not like him, you know."

"Who?"

He ignored her question with a snort. "I mean, I'd _never_…I wouldn't force _anyone_—you…to…and his own kid, I mean…" his gaze flickered up to Lee. "Why do you stay with him?"

Lee just stared back at him for a moment. "I don't."

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?!" Jeremy all but yelled, pushing himself away from the window and towards her. "He's got you on the shortest leash, Lee, Jesus Christ. Why can't you see it? You're so Goddamn willing to jump through hoops for him, but you're too _blind_ to realize he's the one calling the shots in this. God, Lee." He sighed then, raking a shaky hand through his tousled hair.

She frowned, defense mechanism kicking in. It angered her to no end that the memory was just there out of reach, but she couldn't pull at it. She'd be damned if she had to explain herself to Jeremy, if _he_ wouldn't explain anything to her.

"Are you doing this for me, or _him_?" Lee demanded bitterly. She'd seen enough to catch the drift of what was going on. He was bound to her by a threat against his life. And as more memories slipped through a broken veil, her anger grew tenfold. Jeremy Barlow could go to hell. And she told him so, promptly.

Jeremy's face slammed back into a nonchalant mask. Indifferent, he shrugged, leaning into her. "And hell knows, I'll have the circus for company. You two make _quite_ an act, you know." He searched her face for a moment, and Lee held up her end, bristling with barely restrained fury. Jeremy blinked, eyes refocusing lower. And before Lee could realize what he was doing, his lips crashed against hers. Strong arms slid around her neck and waist, pulling her closer. For one brief moment, Lee kissed him back, her hormones raging, _needing_. As soon as it had begun it was over. Her fingers curled in his hair, disguised as lust. Jeremy's head was wrenched back, teeth accidentally tearing at her lip. His head practically snapped sideways from the force of her slap.

"Answer the question, Jeremy." Lee's voice was low and heavy. She watched Jeremy war with himself, finally turning his back on her, chest rising and falling rapidly. He shuddered before tilting his head back.

"Him."

Lee exhaled loudly. "So that isn't concern stuck all over your face, then. Just desperation to stay alive." It wasn't a question, but a fact. And Jeremy did not deny it this time. Lee shook her head sadly, hand still burning from her blow. She stared down at it for a moment before pulling herself awkwardly off the table.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Lee stuck out her jaw in defiance. "Back. To…" She couldn't remember his name. If that name was so important, why couldn't she _remember_? Her fingernails dove for her temples, pressing in. Her eyes slammed shut.

"_Where do you think you're going?" _Another voice. In her head. Not Jeremy's. But his. Jeremy was yelling at her, but Lee chose to tune in to her memory.

"_Where do you think you're going, Harley?" his gravelly voice repeated, low and threatening. _

_I rolled my eyes at his theatre antics. "Where does it look like I'm going, the thrift store? No. You told me I had to get dolled up, and God knows why, I obeyed. And now that I see _why_—I'm leaving. Whether you like it or not." I paused, hand on the door. "Maybe Nathan can dance with—" _

_The door slammed in front of me. I whirled around, only to find a pair of arms crash on either side of my head, effectively trapping me between Josh and the door. His eyes were narrowed, but there was a gleam to them. He wouldn't hurt me now. He'd promised. Josh had taken extra care, despite his disbelief. He was waiting for me at the end of every class, always a step over and behind me like a constant shadow. He started buying my lunch for me, driving me to and from school in his beat up truck. And he didn't seem so angry anymore. The hard lines on his face softened when I was around. There was no taunting, although I swear I pushed him to the edge of violence sometimes. Oddly, I _wanted_ him to break. This new Josh confused me. So I pushed and shoved him closer to the cliff's edge. But his will was stronger than mine. When I'd ask him about it, he'd just pull me into his chest and smother my hair with his lips, breathing me in harshly like some cocaine addict, leaving him quaking in an unnamed emotion. And each time he let go, it felt like goodbye. _

_I came to the rotten conclusion that I both hated and—albeit bitterly—loved this new and improved Josh Kerit. _

_He leaned in, only his hair tickling my skin. His head dipped down, breath hot on my bare shoulder. I twisted my head away so I wouldn't have to meet those Goddamn chocolate eyes of his. "I rented a tux for the fucking prom, and you won't go with me," he chuckled mirthlessly. I shivered as his laughter fanned across my neck. _

_I sunk further against the door. "I don't like proms." _

"_How do you fucking know, Lee-sters? You ever been to one?" _

"_Have _you_?" I shot back. My body was shaking with the proximity of him. Instinct was tearing at my strength. He was too close. He'd been too close for the past few weeks, ever since… And I couldn't _stand_ being within inches of anyone now. And he _knew_ it, too. _

_One long finger tucked itself under my chin and brought me around to face him. He was leaning back now, studying my face carefully. "I wanted it to be with _you_." _

_I sighed and tried to keep myself together. A harsh laugh escaped my lips. "You make it sound like we're going to _do _it." He frowned at my implication, swallowing thickly. I sighed again. "There're too many people." _

_He rolled his eyes. "Damnit, Lee, you deal with more people in the halls at high school than you do at prom." _

"_Have you _heard_ of the orgies that go on in the middle of the mosh pits? It's disgusting. I don't want some guy's hand all over my ass or going up my dress. And what if you leave for a second to grab punch, and something happens when you're not looking. People slip things in drinks, Josh." I shuddered involuntarily. "What if—what if _he's_ there." The weakness in my voice surprised me. With an angry streak, I shoved it down and away. But Josh saw it and his face softened. _

"_Hey. Hey _you_. No, c'mere, look—Harley. Look. At. Me. This is the prom. What every little girl in pigtails dreams of since they could dress their American Girl Dolls up. 'Kay? I'm not…I'm not gonna let you miss out on this. And nothing's…nothing's gonna happen, damnit, so just fucking trust me this once, mm—mmkay? This is what normal people _do_, ah, Harley. Normal people do this shit." _

_I tried to duck my head but he had my jaw in his hand now. "We're not normal people, Josh." I snorted. "Least of all you." _

_His face darkened. And then I saw it, right there, behind the hard lines and furious determination. He was _trying_ to be normal. For me. And I was just shoving it back in his face. I closed my eyes. I was too selfish now to let him win this. I flinched as those hands ghosted all over me again, pulling at my clothes and my hair, dragging me down and twisting me in the sheets. _

_And then Josh was there, right there, thumbs pulling at the corner of my damp eyes until I focused back on him. His gaze flickered from one eye to the other before making up his mind. _

_Josh was suddenly feet away from me, nostrils flaring as he covered his mouth with the sleeve of his suit jacket. Like he was going to be sick. "Harley. Har-_ley_, please," he whined, brows furrowing in remorse. But I didn't know what he was asking. The music was suddenly loud and right there, weaving between us as a couple Velcroed at the hip bustled past us. Several more followed before I heard my name over the uproar, Josh still bracing himself on the opposite side of the hall to the gymnasium. _

"_Harley? Harley! You look," a familiar voice trailed off, coming to a halt right in front of me. Nathan Crane was out of breath, crooked grin overtaking his face as his cool cerulean gaze raked over me. "You look great." _

"_No. She looks beautiful," Josh broke in. I hadn't noticed him saunter up to us. He flanked me, possessively snaking an arm around my waist. _

_They regarded each other for a moment before Nathan decided to ignore my date. "Do you want to dance? With me, I mean?" I glanced up at Josh, whose eyes were narrowed to a pinpoint. His head was cocked to the side; jaw clenched like he'd just heard Nathan speak for the first time, evaluating the tone and fluctuation of his crisp voice. Breaking it down. Listening for something. Nathan waited, leering, challenging, daring. _

"_She doesn't fucking want to _dance_ with you. We're leaving." And with that, my wish was granted. I twisted my head over Josh's shoulder as he towed me out of the building, wiggling my fingers at a dumbfounded and very much date-less Nathan. _

_After I'd successfully stuffed me and my dress in the front seat, Josh shut the door and paced to the driver's side, sliding in as we listened to the engine purr. "So. Where are we leaving to?" _

"_Shut your eyes, Harley." _

_I awarded him with a prize-winning glare and middle finger up in his face. _

_He shoved my hand aside, exasperated. "Just…just do it. Just trust me for fucking once, hmm? Trust me…to take care of ya. 'Cause," he swallowed loud, "I want to." _

"_I'll shut my eyes after I'm in my own bed, safely out of radius of this AIDS fest." I stubbornly crossed my arms, turning to glare out the window. I contemplated walking, but my high heels were already rubbing blisters on my feet. Hardly a blink of an eye had passed before something rustled and his silky tie slipped over my eyes and wrapped itself around my head. My arms jerked to my head to pull it off, but Josh was ready. Something chillingly familiar and metallic bit into my wrists. I fought as he maneuvered the cuffs around the lower door handle. _

"_Stay," he snapped impatiently. _

"_Where the hell are you abducting me to?!" I all but screamed. _

"_You didn't want the prom. So I'm giving you what you want." _

"_What I _want_ is for you to unhand me, drop me back off at home, and go find yourself a more compatible partner on eHarmony, damnit! God, I swear sometimes I must be on an acid trip to be with you." _

"_Well, this figment of your acid trip wants you to shut your trap, because for once, I'm _working_ for what _I_ want. So unless you're taking more Midol, I suggest you keep that pretty, ah, running mouth of yours closed before you say something you regre-_t_." _

_I settled for trying to magically make my hands smaller, folding my fingers in on themselves as I twisted and pulled. I eventually gave up. I tilted my head back, oddly soothed by the velvet stroking my face. But I was stung by burnt pride. Josh made no move to talk or let alone touch me like he usually did. He distanced himself, and I would have thought the car was driving itself if I hadn't known any better. I groaned as frustration boggled my mind. He was doing that rollercoaster thing with his emotions again. High as a kite one minute and the next he'd build up this barrier between us and the world—and sometimes I'd find myself on the outside with the world. In the past weeks it had gotten worse. Sure, he was more patient with me, but his anger and separation was gradually being triggered by little things. If he caught me looking at someone other than him. If he heard me talking to someone else. If I chose school over skipping with him. Just trivial things. But it was enough to win his wrath now. And I couldn't escape it. _

_Even with eyes closed, I could _still_ feel him staring at me. _

_It didn't take long for us to arrive to wherever the hell he'd kidnapped me to. The car's wheels settled over gravel. I listened to it crunch beneath us. My door opened slowly, pitching me forward awkwardly while Josh unlocked the cuffs. He was careful not to brush against my skin, even as I desperately pushed myself towards him. _

_My heels hit the gravel unsteadily as he let me wander a few feet, watching I guess. But when I'd stumbled too far, he was there again; hands on the fabric of my dress as he towed me like a lamb to slaughter. "Step," he instructed gruffly. I obediently lifted my feet over the obstacle. _

_My heel caught on something as the strap tore into my ankle. "Damnit, Josh." _

_He chuckled lightly. "It's what you women get for wearing those God-awful contraptions." _

"_Made by men, I'm sure," I snorted back at him. My feet tripped over something again as Josh ordered me to take a big step up. We were going up a gravelly hill, the rocks slipping from beneath my stilettos. He was ahead of me, fingers entwined with mine as he faced me, presumably marching backwards. My ankle twisted, dress restraining my balance, and I fell into him like a klutz. But he was there. Arms open and crouched like he'd expected it. _

_I buried my blindfolded face against his chest, awkwardly twisted between his legs. He giggled darkly. "Up and at 'em, Lee-sters." _

"_Can't we just stay here?" _

"_Nope. Almost there. Hurry up." _

_I grumbled as he helped me up. A few more falls and I'd made it to the top of…whatever it was. A loud breath escaped my lungs. "Okay. Now what, oh wise one?" _

"_Now, we…" he trailed off, dragging out the word suggestively. My arm was placed on his shoulder, and the other was bent and up, fingers trapped in his. I felt his free arm slide around my waist as he tucked my head beneath his chin. My skin tingled; I still couldn't get over how well we just _fit_ together. He was too close, and I struggled for a moment before he reminded me who he was, and that he wouldn't harm a hair on my head. Ever. Again. _

_And then we were dancing. He was swaying us this way and that on the hill, every so often spinning me out in front of him, always to pull me back. I laughed. "There's no music! This is ridiculous!" _

"_Shhh." His fingers traced circles lightly on my waist, and then moved up to my bare back, tangling in my hair and giving it a few gentle tugs before squeezing me closer. His chest was radiating warmth, bare and opened from the loss of his tie that served as my blindfold. He'd slipped off his coat at some point. Josh's chest started rumbling, dark and light, and it took me a moment to realize he was humming some oldie tune. A few words would slip past his lips, and I nearly wilted at the sound of his voice. I'd never taken him for a singer. _

"_Harley." He sounded serious. I tilted my head up to his, even though I couldn't see. I scrunched up my nose, waiting. Josh sighed. "Do ya—do you trust me?" _

_My face fell. I didn't know. "Yes." _

_He growled. "Liar." _

_Josh's grip loosened, but I snuggled closer, _needing_ to be held. It had been weeks since we'd been this close—since he'd been this gentle. And I soaked it up like a dehydrated sponge. Needy and hollow. _

"_You're on the wrong side of, ah, the tracks, Lee-sters, to _not_ trust me," he mused darkly. I hadn't noticed we'd stopped dancing. A horn blared in the distance. We just stood there, as he continued to hum. I tilted my head to listen for the horn again. Both his hands reached up to hold onto the sides of my face, effectively covering my ears. My heart was pounding, echoing beneath his touch, but I could still hear that horn, closer. There were two of them. Screaming at each other. _

_The hairs on the back of my neck rose. It felt all wrong. "Josh, where are we?" I nearly shouted, bringing my hands up over his. The ground beneath us was shaking. I practically collapsed, but Josh held me up, twisting me around and against his chest. One arm wrapped around both of mine, the other digging at the blindfold. The wind was picking up, bringing my hair to life. The horns were much louder now. At the last possible second, the tie was ripped from my face. There, charging us head on at an inhuman speed was a train. _

_Not even ten feet away, I watched the gravel shatter at its pace, could see the dust sweeping up in mini tornadoes around us. And over all the confusion, I could hear Josh's loud cackling in my ear, right before he hurled us both over the edge of the tracks. I screamed. I hadn't noticed, but there were _two_ trains, one screeching on either side of us, opposite directions. The torrent of wind yanked me in a million directions, hair waving as Josh held me against him, half sitting half lying on the ground. My dress was—well, to say the least, I would _not_ be wearing it again anytime soon. He slid up behind me, wrapping an arm around me as the wind pulled at and around us. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, blurring my vision from the rush. It was the best rush. _

_I whirled around in Josh's arms and tackled him to the gravel, lips pressed to his. When I pulled back, his eyes were wide in craze. He chuckled, reaching up to tame my hair in his hands. But it was hopeless—the wind was picking up. _

_And then I saw it. I _knew_. Something nagged. And even though I couldn't hear him, the words nearly doubled in effect as the trains rushed by. _

"_Harley Quintzel, I l—" he swallowed thickly, leaning his head back to stare up at me through hooded eyes. "Love ya." _

Jeremy's next words pulled her out of her head and cut the thickness in the air like a knife. "You love him. Don't you?" Eyes glued to the floor, he let his hands drop to his sides. Lee bolted upright, frowning at him angrily. But the sincere hurt drawn all over his face made her think twice. "Josh. You love him," Jeremy repeated hollowly.

Lee opened her mouth to snap his head off. But nothing came out. That name—that name felt so right. _Josh._ Josh Kerit. Her head was pounding. She pressed her hand to her forehead, closing her eyes. Her hand came away wet and sticky.

"Shit, Lee! You're bleeding again. Damnit, hold on." The door jerked back on its hinges as Jeremy raced out of the room. He came back a moment later, a bewildered doctor in tow with a gun to his face and a sick-looking Martha trailing not far behind.

"Take care of her. _Now_."

A soft but firm touch was suddenly at Lee's forehead. "I can't…I can't tell for certain. I believe she has a concussion." He slowed his wavering words, looking up at the barrel of Jeremy's gun. "We have to do an MRI."

For the first time, Jeremy seemed to realize how limited their time really was, anxiety prickling all over his skin as he broke out in a sheen of sweat. "Just diagnose her right here, damnit! I have to have her back in—_Goddamnit, _I don't _know_, shit. Now. I have to have her back _now_."

The doctor shook his head, years of medical practice kicking in. "And _I_ have to see how much damage has been done. You forced me into this; don't make me back out of it. An MRI will ensure no further harm or internal bleeding or cracks."

"How long?"

"Anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour and a half."

"You'd better fucking hope it only takes thirty minutes," Jeremy snapped. Lee was soon ushered from the room, back into emergency quarters. Jeremy followed the group absentmindedly, torn between getting Lee taken care of and rushing the whole thing along so he could save his sorry ass. He watched through the barricaded glass as Lee was brought into the MRI scanning room. She jerked the loose gown around herself before sliding onto the machine. And then she was gone.

"Jeremy, you dumbass," he muttered to himself, braced against the glass. His chest burned as he remembered that last look she'd given him—full of fear and trust. "You fell again."

A loud ringing suddenly echoed in the room next to his, a cell's ringtone echoing down the white hallways. Jeremy frowned—it was Lee's phone. Glancing at the MRI machine, he deserted his perch for a moment, shoving the next door open to a locker room. He fumbled through a few metal cabinets before finding her shirt and jeans folded up, pocket vibrating. He reached in. _1 New Message._ _Unknown Number. _ The phone flipped open. And Jeremy's heart stopped.

"_Time's up, Low Bar._"

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**a/n: 13 pages?? You owe me… As always, let me know what you think, good or bad. Please review. **


	28. Chapter 28

**a/n: huuuuuge thank you to all my reviewers & readers! shout-outs to: Breaking Emotions, RAAMENLOVER, .., Mournsong, put here 2 feel joy, DarKnight1Fan, LeiathecrazyJedi, Beowulfwulf, Jilander-Napier, Stephanie (Jack), Defying Definition, pinkpanther95, unactively active, Minstrel of Fire, XxJagzxX, Gamine Madcap, Lucky Duck 24, Amy Sear, & special thanks to redheadrebel77!!! **

**It's been another month…and a half—and for that I should be shot. I am about to decapitate myself with honors English…You may not get another update for a month—finals are in 4 weeks. Crazy stuffs. Not to mention, my horse landed me in the ER two weeks ago, and I still can't move my knee like it should. So gimme them **_**Reviews**_** you know I love so much to keep me hopping along. Gasoline and gunpowder to those of you who do. It's all I can afford. **

**Also, word to the wise: this chapter did not come out as well as I'd hoped, but it's been so long and I wanted to go ahead and ship it out and move on. I've combed through it, changed things, and I'm personally not content with it, but it's where my writing took me. **

**Don't own it.**

Blacksilkrose123 ©2009

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"_F U. MRI, dckhead. Need mor time, k?_"

Jeremy could feel the blood draining from his face as he paced with the cell phone shaking in clammy fingers. He'd rushed back into the dim observational room, Lee still tucked inside the machine. No amount of pacing and chewing off the doctor's face would save him now—he knew this—but it calmed him while he waited for the Joker's text message. There was no way, he thought. Jeremy groaned, slamming his back against the window's glass. The situation was hopeless. Already, it was hard for him to swallow, whether from nerves or the poison licking its way through his bloodstream. He pocketed the benefit of the doubt—there was just _no_ way.

Lee's phone started screaming again. He flipped it open.

"_I'm gonna hope you said 'duckhead.'" _

Jeremy rolled his eyes, fumbling with the digits again. He exhaled sharply.

" _Her head's bustd. Mor time or not?" _

He was seething now. Jeremy contemplated rushing in and ripping Lee out of the MRI, but he was torn between helping her and helping himself. He rubbed at his forehead bitterly. Lee Quintzel owed him. And that Jackass-in-the-box did too. His pocket yelped suddenly and Jeremy fished the phone back out again.

"_Not._"

Jeremy charged through to the viewing office, face flushed and a sickly pallor snaking its way up his neck. He grabbed the doctor by his collar, hurling him against the wall. "Do you know what it is, or _don't_ you?" The man's hands came up to pull at Jeremy's. But he only pressed harder.

"Thirty minutes. Need—I need more time," he croaked.

Jeremy threw himself away from the doctor, shaking all over. "You and me both." He pressed a hand over his heart as he turned to lean against the window again. It was still beating, though dimly. If the poison didn't do him in soon, Jeremy figured, the suspense of waiting would. "Time isn't something we've got, Doc," he growled, pulling out his gun.

The man in question shakily pushed his glasses further back on his nose before pushing his hands out, palms forward in defense. "Now, see here—"

"Shut up. Look, you know that Joker clown?"

The doctor frowned, nodding as he lowered his hands to straighten out his tie, fiddling with the material. Jeremy didn't miss the way his eyes hardened at the mention of the masochistic killer—the way his face suddenly slipped into a guarded mask. Even Tennessee had heard of the Gotham terrorist. The doctor glanced over his shoulder at the MRI's electronic screening, his frown deepening.

"Well he's _here_. And if I don't get Lee, in there," he nodded towards the MRI, "back to him ASAP, he's going to take matters into his own hands."

"Patience runs thin with you people these days, doesn't it?" the doctor grumbled, distracted. He folded his arms. "And what keeps you here? Why don't you run? If she isn't your girl, why are _you_ still here?"

Jeremy hissed. "Poison."

The man quirked a brow at Jeremy.

"He poisoned me," he repeated irritably. "And I'm pretty sure it's kicking in—"

"What did he give you?"

Jeremy's nostrils flared, shoving past the doctor. "Fuck if I know, but I've _got_ to get her—"

"If I save you, can I call the police?"

Jeremy froze in his tracks. "What?"

"You heard me. If I—"

"—you can't. He's got the antidote."

The doctor paused for a moment. He mumbled something to himself, pacing over to a chair and rolling it to Jeremy. "Sit." Jeremy ignored him, shoving his hand away and standing to go after Lee, when a hand roughly pushed him back down. "_Sit._ You have my word as a doctor-patient's confidentiality, the police won't know about this. They won't touch you. I'll get you out of here safely. So sit down and let me check you over."

Jeremy made to move again. "What about _her_?"

The doctor shrugged, ignoring him as he shuffled through cabinets for his stethoscope and blood-pressure gauge. "Give me your gun."

"Look, I believe you, risking your hide for us. But you'll have to excuse me if I don't just hand it over. So what do you want with it?"

The doctor jerked his eyes meaningfully at the MRI machine, where Lee was.

Jeremy's voice was loud and stern. "No."

The doctor growled back. "You don't know what he's _done_, alright? To me. To my…"

"—the hell I don't know what he's done! If you have a score to settle with him, then that's _your_ deal, but leave Lee out of this. This isn't some game, Doc. Not some revenge, that if you get at what's his it'll make up for whatever—or whoever—you lost. You kill her, and he'll come back with a vengeance tenfold. Think of that girl in there as the harness to his collar. If she's gone, then the dog's been let off his leash. And he won't hold back for anything when that happens."

"Alright, alright." He sighed, pacing over to Jeremy before wrapping the cuff around his upper arm, pumping the bulb until Jeremy's entire arm seemed to vibrate from his pulse. The doctor glanced at his wristwatch before pulling out a thermometer and shoving it in Jeremy's ear. It beeped, and he pulled it back, muttering to himself. The graying man quickly bustled with his flashlight, pulling at Jeremy's lids, and then pressing fingers to his pulse-point in the crook of his neck.

For one brief moment, Jeremy let his guard down, zoning out and honing in on the loud, humming machine just opposite the glass. That one second was all it took.

The gun was ripped from his fingers.

Jeremy didn't have time to react. Adrenaline surged through his body and he flipped out of the chair, shoving himself as far as possible into the glass door—directly between the doctor and Lee. "Put it down, Doc." His chest heaved, wild gaze flickering back and forth between the barrel of the gun and the pounding machine behind him. Anger coursed through his veins. How _dare_ that clown put Lee in this situation? Jeremy snorted to himself. He had to have known how out of control the world was. It couldn't be bought, bribed, threatened—in the end, it was up to whoever wielded the power. And at that moment, it was a revenge-thirsty doctor.

"Tell me the damn truth!"

"I did!" Jeremy shouted back. He inched towards the door's handle, but the gun was waved menacingly in his direction.

The doctor's hand reached for something behind his cabinet and flipped open an emergency switch. He slammed his fist into the button before whirling back on Jeremy. "Don't play coy with me, boy. There's nothing wrong with you. There never was any poison. Your blood pressure's fine. Even if there was a clock ticking to the poison's effects, your body would have showed minor, if not major, symptoms by now. You tried to pull at my damn sympathy like some puppet master. I'm cutting the rope on this one, son. Now _admit_ you're working for him!"

The man growled. "There's nothing to admit! You saw her! And—and even _if_ this whole thing was a lie, why the hell would the notorious Joker come after a pathetic walk-in clinic doctor like you? So tell me, _why_ should I admit to something I didn't do?"

"So I can sleep better knowing I didn't kill an innocent kid." The doctor's gaze flashed through the window, then back again. "Two birds with one stone. His henchman _and_ his toy." He straightened up, clearing his throat. "I'll be doing this world a great service. God, this is going to cost me—but I figure it's worth it, all the lives…" he swallowed hard. "Get away from the door."

"She has a kid, you know. _They_ have a kid," Jeremy spat. "You think that's fair—"

"_Fair_?!" the doctor roared. "I want you to tell me how letting a psychopathic freak herd thousands of people to the slaughter is _fair_! Because Gotham practically handed its people over on a silver platter. They pushed him aside in the All Things Trivial file for a fucking rainy day. They ignored the problem, turned their backs on it as they attempted to pickpocket an already-conned and penniless mob. In a few days short of hell, he overturned the city and tore it down to its corrupted core, breeding a rabid society that tore at each others' throats, and for what? _Nothing._ So he could sit back in his claim to fame and soak in the pandemonium. So he could laugh at us. He's swapped pedestals—we went from being the audience, to the freak's circus act. There's no justice in this. There's no logic in any of it. Who the hell died and made him God?! So help me—if that girl in there, if her death so much as scratches at his confidence, his mirage of control, then that's one point in our favor." He was shaking, knuckles whitening as he hugged the butt of the gun to him, keeping it anxiously trained on Jeremy—Jeremy, whose face was pulled taut in feigned command. His chest was ripping itself to shreds again, in bitter realization that this Nobody Doctor was right, or partially so. The Joker was a slave to pointing out the pointlessness of power, when he clearly overlooked his own shaky grasp at control. While he may have been one step ahead of the rest of the crowd, he was in just as much want for a frail leadership.

The room's door burst open. Martha's face was pale, but its shade of white seemed to lighten to a green when she realized her employer had the upper hand. "Y-you wanted me, Doctor?" she whispered, glancing at the emergency button on the wall.

"Call the police. Tell them the Joker's here. Nothing else."

She nodded and quitted the room hurriedly.

"They have a kid," Jeremy repeated stupidly. He lowered his head, but remained tense.

"Looks like someone's going to have to step in as a parent soon," the doctor said pointedly. He slowly stalked towards Jeremy, before halting quietly in front of him, waiting.

Jeremy sighed, running his hands through his hair for the thousandth time. He could fix this. He had to fix this. And even, perhaps, flip the tables so they were in his favor—Lee and the kids. She would hate him for it. But he couldn't wipe the grin that was slowly spreading across his face, tugging at laugh lines and frowning lips. _Someone_ indeed, he thought.

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"Dad?"

Said father grunted irritably. His fingers were clenched on the steering wheel, hooded, darkening eyes glued to the clinic's entrance, cautiously glancing at the road every other minute for undercover cop cars. He exhaled loudly through his nose. After a sharp glare at Matthew in the backseat, he resumed drumming his gloved fingers loudly.

"Dad? Is Mom coming back soon?"

"Tofu, the, ah, an-_swer_'s no different," the Joker annunciated, "than the las-_t_ fif-_ty_ fu—" a loud cough conveniently broke in from the back, "—times, ah, sor_ry_, last fifty _times_…you aske-_d._" He seethed for a moment, and when Matthew appreciatively went back to his game of Rock Paper Scissors, "_Fuck._"

Matthew let loose a snarl, shoving Christopher back in his seat until the henchman was leaning between the two front seats, staring at the Joker.

"Wha-_t_?!" he snapped.

"Tone it down on your favorite word, boss."

"How, ah, bou-_t_, _you_ tone i-t down on your, uh, sixth-fucking-father sense, mmm-mm_kay_? My _wife_ is stu_ck_ in there, and—Matty, Matt, _Matt_, I should've hired a, uh, wall, instead of some Dr. Phil. _Don't_ make me regre-_t_ things."

Matthew frowned, but heeded the warning as he pulled himself back. The Joker twisted around to follow him with his eyes, tongue worrying his scars before releasing his mouth with a loud pop. He cocked his head. His gaze slid to his son, who was watching him with round eyes. Christopher's head was tilted too, tiny tongue slipping past as he lathered his own lips, albeit with much more salivating than his father. The Joker grunted, visibly furrowing his brows as he lifted one hand. Christopher scrunched his tiny face together before shooting his arm up in the air.

"Stop that," the Joker barked. His raised arm came crashing into his seat's shoulder for emphasis. Christopher's arm pounded against the seat by his leg, trying to smother his giggles. The Joker leaned closer, seatbelt choking as he suddenly shook his head back and forth, blowing through his lips as a high-pitched keening noise exploded from his mouth. He'd meant to frighten the kid, but Christopher mocked him perfectly, ending in a fit of laughter. "What's i-_t_ doing? Having a seizure?!"

Matthew wiped the grin from his face. "Mirroring you, boss."

Joker grunted, twisting back around to finish scouting the parking lot. "Can anything be, uh, _done_ about i-_t_?"

"Topher, stop bugging your dad."

But the father in question whirled around in a flash, driving his fist into Matthew's knee, who promptly combusted in a series of blue-string curses.

"Don't. Call. Him. _That._" He turned around again, bracing the steering wheel childishly as he bit down on his cheeks. "My kid. My names."

A loud siren shattered the awkward silence that followed. The Joker rolled down his window and leaned his head out, sniffing at the air. Tongue lolling, he pulled himself back in, grinning insanely at Matthew. "Time to change and move."

Matthew obediently pulled himself from the car, slamming the door shut and shouldering a bag before jogging behind the building.

"Dad?"

The Joker glared up at the rearview mirror. His son stayed silent for a moment, so Josh overlooked the plea and jerkily withdrew a tiny bag from the glove department, spilling its contents across the dashboard. One bottle was emptied carelessly into his palm and quickly slapped across his face. It was white.

"Dad?!"

"Do, uh, do ya like _games_, Chris-to-_pher_?" Josh deadpanned, his tone leaving no room for hilarity.

"Yeah. Yeah, Mommy plays games with me all the time. Are we gonna play a game, Dad? 'Cause, this one time, Ben and I played this game, called Laser Quest, with sticks, and we had to take out Droideroid's whole army, and so on mission, like, sixteen, we blasted—"

The Joker chuckled heartlessly, slamming his bottle into the cup holder. The sound shook Christopher from his excitement, and he quickly shut up. "You, ah…you did no-_t_ get that imagination…from your _mommy_ dearest. But, uh, no, do ya…how bout we play…the _quie-_t game?" He withdrew a small tin of shoe polish, dipping his gloved thumb into it before smearing it around and over his eyes, glancing up at the mirror.

His son whined. "I hate that game. It's so stupid. Tag's more fun. Or hide and seek. You know, Mom said that's why…" Christopher's voice trailed off. The Joker's shoulders had hunched at the mention of Lee, tension bristling his spine as he slowly cocked his head and regarded his son.

"Why…" he prompted in high pitch.

Christopher stared out the window. "Why you never came. She said—she said we were all playing hide and seek. And you were it. And we had to hide, and you just hadn't found us yet. But that you couldn't find us, because that would just ruin the game. And Mom doesn't like to lose. So we had to be real quiet. And keep moving."

The Joker frowned angrily. He opened his mouth to interject snidely when tires squealed just ahead of their parked car. The police were there, filing in. Like ants, he mused, marching to their doom. It didn't take long to apply the red paint over his scars.

"Are we going to the circus, Dad?"

The Joker rolled his eyes. He reached for his son and pulled him up and into his lap. "N_o_. We're, ah, gonna p-_lay_ you're fav-or-_ite_ game. And your, ah, _Mom_ is i-_t_."

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Jeremy's arm shot out and grabbed the doctor's shoulder. "You can't do this," he exclaimed hotly. "Your code, as a doctor—"

"Well, I'm not technically a doctor anymore, after this, am I?! I'll lose my license, but…"

"But what? It'll be _worth_ the _cost_?" Jeremy mocked, spanning his arms out. His eyes narrowed. "At what cost will it take to fix this? A misconception of justice can't fix another's broken set of morals. Deal with the root of the problem, Doc. That one girl, in there, can't possibly be the cause of all this anarchy he's created. If you get the chance, then be my guest to point the gun at him."

"Get out of my way."

"Give me the gun."

"No."

"Last chance, Doc. Give it here."

The gun was raised, but no longer aimed at the MRI. In a superhuman rush of adrenaline, Jeremy ducked, and threw his fist at the gun. It was knocked clean from the doctor's hand. Both men dove for the weapon, tackling one another. Jeremy landed on top. He delivered a swift blow to the doctor's head, which snapped sickeningly to the side. Jeremy hoisted himself off of the fallen doctor, and grabbed the gun, checking the rounds before training it on the heaving man at his feet.

"I want out!"

Lee. Her voice broke through the silence, tugging at Jeremy's heart. He turned his icy glare down on the doctor, who was pushing himself up against the wall, still on the floor. "I'll be right there, Lee. Don't move." He cocked the gun again, redirecting his focus. "The cops were called?"

"Martha—yes."

"And the MRI results?"

The doctor shook his head, exasperated. "You don't have time—if they catch you here, without ID or papers, they'll question you, net you up with him. Guilty by association, right?"

He nodded. "And you're going to let us go?" Jeremy reiterated.

The doctor was shaking. He crushed the heel of his hands against his head. "I give up. Get her to a hospital—the police won't follow. If Martha did as told, they're only interested in that freak. If they find…my license could…_God_. Just _go_," he pleaded, voice cracking as his sanity teetered on the edge.

Jeremy pocketed the gun. "Hold on, Lee."

"Wait!" The cry was ignored as Jeremy rushed headfirst into the MRI room, reaching in to pull Lee out of the groaning machine. It was still thumping, but a keen squeal erupted as Jeremy wrapped his fingers around her upper arms. The entire machine was rattling. Lee was pulling at Jeremy's arms, trying to claw out faster, yelling over the inhuman roar. The very air around them seemed to pull and expand, Lee's hair statically lifting from the loose energy crackling in the room. The gun in Jeremy's pocket all but exploded out of the jeans, flying into the hole of the MRI. Lee screamed. She brought her arm up to shield her face, but the gun ignored her defense and continued to jerk violently around in the container. The metal had set the magnetic forces off balance. Lee kicked blindly at the air, fingernails tearing as she grappled with the ledge. Using every last ounce of energy, she hurled herself out of the machine. She toppled to the floor in a mess of bruised limbs. Jeremy was too distracted, though, to regard her immodest and half-naked patient-wear.

Something inside his stomach had snapped.

He was sure of it.

It was crackling and tearing at the lining of his skin. Jeremy's heart thrummed loudly in his ears. This was it. This was definitely it—the end of the rope. "God_damn_it, Lee, get out of here!" He glared down at Lee, gripping his stomach as he took note of her bruised forehead. She struggled to her feet. The gun was still rattling inside of the machine, smashing itself to a violent death. Lee glanced at it, then back at Jeremy.

"Get her _out_ of there!" the doctor repeatedly seethed, fingernails clawing at his hair in frustration and horror. "They'll be here any minute. It was an accident—it was just an accident, I'll tell them."

"I need my clothes—you, I mean…I'm not leaving without you!" she half-shouted, half-slurred clumsily. Lee flinched as the gun flipped out of the other end, setting the trigger off. Both ducked when the bullet soared and ricocheted about the room before lodging in the glass. Just as it spiderwebbed in sickening zig-zags, the room submerged itself in darkness. Lee's entire body was shaking with misused energy—fight or flight was kicking, but she was not willing to bolt without Jeremy. She bumped against him, finding him in the darkness, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him with her. His shirt was soaked, a thin sheet of sweat breaking across his skin. Lee gripped harder.

"What's…what's going…on?!" her voice was cracking, body fighting off the rush of vertigo. She held onto Jeremy tighter.

Someone was helping her pull Jeremy out of the magnetized room. Emergency lights were flickering, but hardly bright enough to safely direct them. So she let the doctor lead them. "Something set off the magnetism of the MRI—in the rush I'd forgotten. No metals or electronics can go near the machine, or it sets the magnetic balance off course."

"So we turned—turned off the power?" Lee was shivering uncontrollably. Her head was pounding angrily at her quickness of movement.

She felt the doctor shudder beside her as they turned down another corridor. "No. That would be your Joker's doing. Or the police. Either way—this isn't good. C'mon, walk faster, damnit! Now, listen, you've got a safe ride to the hospital. I keep an ambulance out the side, and one of my technicians should be waiting to drive you."

The trio stumbled out into the eerily quiet lobby. "What about Jeremy?"

"Al_ways_ with the damn quest-_ions_, ain't i-_t_, Har_ley_?" Lee's heart caught in her throat. She jerked her head up, eyes searching until they landed on the bulky, hunched two—no, _three_—shadows.

Lee straightened up just as Jeremy did. He shoved her arm away from him, biting his lip as they took in the situation. Sirens were flashing outside, wind and white flakes pulling at the trees. The snow was sweeping in through the open doors, where several policemen had their guns trained, braced, at the two men in clown masks, who were ignoring them pointedly. They looked like mirror images, masks copies of each other, both frames hunched, and one hand from each resting on Christopher's shoulders. The one on the left was flapping his knife at his side with his free hand. The clown on the right was heavily petting the boy's head. Lee flicked her eyes between the two—as much as she prided herself on knowing Josh Kerit, she couldn't tell a damn difference between the two clowns. But she decided she didn't care. His voice was reassurance enough.

"Josh," Lee breathed to herself. Relief and confusion tugged sharply at her heart.

"Joker," Jeremy hissed simultaneously.

The clown on the left shook his head irritably, but it was impossible to discern where the voice was coming from. Was it the left? Right? "You've, uh, go-_t_ something of mine. And I," he paused to, as Lee could imagine, lick his lips and probably scrunch up his face to bare yellowed teeth, "wan-_t_ i-_t_ ba-_ck_." Lee frowned. The right. He was definitely on the right. Maybe… The head was cocked to the side and down as the knife twirled lazily in his fingers.

"_Freeze!"_

"Let the kid go!"

"Drop your weapon!"

"_Now!_"

"C'mere, Lee-sters. Does _this_ look familiar?" the Joker dragged out the syllables, Right Clown giving Christopher's head a gentle but firm tug before resuming his knife play. Lee took an involuntary step forward, but Jeremy held her back, quickly regaining his strength. The pain in his stomach had faded. "Ah, ta, ta, ta, let her. Go." The Joker snarled, tone leaving no room for argument in the command.

Lee felt Jeremy's grip tighten further.

There was a sharp click as a footstep made to charge the two clowns. In a flash, Left Clown had Christopher in his arms, withdrawing a knife to wave it in his face. The child's eyes were huge as saucers. He stared at his mother. "It's a game, Mommy. We're playing a game." Right Clown hunched further down, tilting his torso sideways to scrutinize Christopher. The mask's eyes seemed to narrow sharply. After a long moment, he finally cocked his head back up to pin Lee with the painted clown's icy gaze.

"She needs a doctor," Jeremy broke in, hand firm on Lee's shoulder.

Lee could picture one brow arched irritably as a tongue slithered out to caress his scars. Left Clown, despite the extra burden, twisted his body to the side. "So, uh, ah, what do you call _this_?" Right Clown, or "Josh," Lee corrected herself, gestured around him madly.

Jeremy glanced over his shoulder at the doctor, who was pushing his back impossibly straight against the wall, but wore a grim, rebellious expression. Turning back, "The MRI broke."

"How convenient," the Joker's voice simmered. The two clown's gazes wavered between the Jeremy and Lee before taking a threatening step towards them. Guns instantly snapped to attention at them. Growling, the clown with Christopher turned his back on Lee to hoist their son into a better grip, knife dangerously close to his arms. Left Clown was carelessly…well, Lee could only define it as _bear hugging_ their child. She shuddered, completely torn, while the policemen backed up, unsure exactly what to do. Lee realized they had no clue the boy was the Joker's son—they'd assumed he was a hostage. Under that mindset, they were bound by their morals to hold back, while Lee knew neither clown would harm Christopher for the world—or so she told herself.

Nodding to himself confidently, "Josh" whirled around, taking two direct steps towards Lee. "I, ah, I did my good deed for the _year_. We're leaving. Now."

Too quick for her to rebel, Jeremy shoved Lee behind him. He appeared to be relatively fine now, aside from the reddened cheeks and damp forehead. "She's going to a hospital. _Someone_ knocked out the power before we could find out—"

"Fuck. You're not dead ye-_t_?" the Joker grunted abruptly, as though he'd just taken note of Jeremy's presence.

Jeremy scoffed. "Your plan failed."

Left Clown, with Christopher, turned sharply to flank Right Clown's shoulder. "My p-_lan_," he mocked, giggling, "worked fine. Just a threat, nothing _real_, but 'nough to get you motivated—like I said_._ There's still a nice, uh, little surprise inside. All it took…was a little shove to get you going, a little seed here, a little explosion there, and you o-_beyed._ Imagine," he drew out the word slyly, "what things I could make this world d-_o_…of their own free will. Funny how fast your, ah, little rou_tine_ morals slipped through your fingers the second your patheti-_c_ life…was given a time limit. All I did was set the alarm, and pressed _go_, and off you went, driven by, ah, your little insecurities and wha-_t_ if's."

"All you did," Jeremy deadpanned, "was beat the hell out of your _wife_. This whole thing rooted from your—"

A loud gunshot interrupted his rant. Lee braced herself, fully prepared to watch either clown twin or Jeremy drop by an impatient bullet. But the clown on the right, without Christopher, had his arm outstretched, behind him, smoke billowing out of a shotgun hidden within the confines of his purple trench coat. He hadn't even looked, but his aim was true.

A policeman collapsed to the floor, his team shouting, torn between maintaining positions and checking him. Duty eventually reined them in, though. They were still shouting at the clown to drop his weapon when his voice broke through their panic. "_That_," he growled, "rooted from your runaway mouth." The painted black eyes of Left Clown slid to Lee. Josh choked on a laugh. "Hey, hey, _girly_. You, uh, wanna be the nex-_t_ weed this stems from? Wanna jump on the runaway train?" The gun in Right Clown's hand flicked up and waved in circles behind him, randomly brandishing the remaining officers. Both clowns were poised between a hunch and a lunge.

Lee gritted her teeth. When she spoke, it was in low, measured tones—hypnotic and commanding his attention. "You wouldn't. Quit messing with their minds, Josh. Leave Christopher out of this. Leave our son out of this." Her jaw clamped shut as another wave of nausea wafted over her senses. Her heart was beating furiously, fighting out a battle with her screaming head. The pain was less, but it felt as though she were at the fair, on a spinning ride she couldn't get off.

The cops took the opportune moment of silence to continue their frenzied commands.

"Drop the gun!"

"Let the kid go."

"Put the knives on the floor and kick them to us."

"Hey, buddy, _stop moving!_"

The clowns simultaneously rounded on the imposing policemen, as if it had been practiced. The gun was raised, and the two knives were braced in the air, each weapon pending to strike the remaining officers. Christopher started crying. Lee was pulling at Jeremy's restraining arms, dying to get past him to her child.

"_Freeze or we shoot!_"

A scream broke through Lee's lips.

"What the hell do you want?!" Another cop.

"I jus-_t_ want my _wife_!" the Joker roared, before exploding in a fit of hysterical giggles.

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**a/n: Sorry to leave it there. Again, I apologize if this chapter seemed shaky, or Joker-less. But it needed to be done. I've had a lot on my plate, and wanted to get this out, though I'm not as pleased at how my writing turned out. I'm more of a dialogue than action girl. As always, please review.**


	29. Chapter 29

**a/n: I do not own it. **

blacksilkrose123 ©2009

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_Snow. _

_It was coming down in dangerous fluffs of icy cotton, _everywhere_, clumped together as it deviously coated every surface within reach. It was acidic litter that threatened to precipitate every particle of carefully ironed hair and dampen every follicle of happiness I'd managed to root five minutes before the storm. In not so many words, snow, to me, was Satan. And Satan's spawn, as fate would rule it, happened to come in the form of a certain Josh Kerit. _

_He was more like…Jack Frost—not only with his abruptly cold attitude, but the way his greasy hair would freeze practically within seconds. I could literally give him a haircut within five minutes—I'd just have to break off the pieces. And then he'd get this look in his eyes, like on that first snow day of the year, I just _knew_ he controlled the snow. Because not only was it hell freezing over, but it was in April. And that look he'd get was like a little boy who'd just rediscovered an old toy, dusty with age, but nothing a little play couldn't cure. _

_Cure. Yeah, I needed a cure. I was in deep, too deep. Josh's confession shook me to the core. Why? Because, unlike any normal girl who would be flattered, I grew angry as those three words began to sink in days later. This was Josh Kerit we were talking about, who itemized people, transforming them from brains and hearts into objects and property to be bought, sold, or destroyed. Yeah, he loved me. But he also loved handcuffs, a good game of poker, and knives. The more I thought about it, the more I came to the vile conclusion that Josh was incapable of such an emotion, and it was probably him putting into words his increasing testosterone levels. It had to be an act, some way to pull me back into myself after what we were now referring to as "The Accident," his way of fixing his little toy, ironing out the kinks and pasting on a fresh Band-Aid to make it all better. _

_Sure. That was good enough of a motive, right? What did he care that generations were built upon those very words? That I existed because those very words had been exchanged between my parents… But look where that got them. Feeding off of each other like starving piranha, until Mom couldn't take it anymore and Dad couldn't take it anywhere but out on her. So with her gone, and him presumably gone, I'd been taken in by a reluctant aunt and uncle on Mom's side. And now I was stuck. Thanks to an alcoholic son-of-a-bitch father. _

_My brain was a buzz kill; that was for sure. It was bringing things up right and left that I didn't care to register. Everything was going topsy-turvy in my little, carefully constructed world which had, unbeknownst to me, been put up for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Right now, it was in the shock stage, where planks are littering the ground, windowpanes shattered with the debris, and in the midst of all of it stood my version of Ty: Josh. And he was holding the camera clumsily, angled back on him so that it panned his anxious face with my life in the blurry background, assuring me that the finished product would be worth it. _

_You're probably wondering how all of this came out of snow, but that's proof that my brain cells were no longer acting as neurons correctly should. Nothing was going as planned anymore, and my train had long since gone off its tracks. But that first snow day? With _him? _ It was the turning point of everything, though I'd already had so many my life was beginning to feel like a merry-go-round on steroids. _

_My eyes cracked open to the blinding whiteness beaming in from my window like a damn ray of sunshine. It wasn't long before that cold dread settled in and I realized I was doomed. The weather channel, with its cancellations plastered across the bottom of the screen, confirmed my worst fears: snow day. _

_I glared out the frosted panes at the offending cotton balls. But I wasn't given much time to use every curse in the book; in fact, my brain had immediately switched from vile language mode to bladder control and fight vs. flight. _

_Before I could blink or even gain a logical grasp on reality, my body had twisted itself mid air and against the window, grappling with the blinds. A second too late, my fist aching as proof, I realized Josh had pinned me up against the glass, a wrist in each hand. And his cheek was red. Like, _really_ red…almost sort of a bluish hue if you squinted. My own jaw slacked. _

"_Shit, did _I_—?"_

"_Well, it certainly wasn't the curtains," he spat, chancing a glare at the drapes surrounding us for emphasis. _

_I felt myself relaxing—a move he obviously didn't approve of. His grip tightened as he hauled me up higher against the panes. I winced, tensing under his touch and rising up on the tips of my toes to relieve the pressure. His upper lip curled back, baring teeth as he searched my face for something. I was careful to keep it blank and cool. And that was mistake number one. _

_In a flash, I was off of the window and sprawled over the arm of the couch. My head connected hard, despite the cushions. After my vision cleared, I settled my best glare on the figure hunched by the window, watching me with clenched fists at his sides. _

"_You. Don't. Hit. And. Run. _Har_ley," he sneered. I just stared at him, wide-eyed now. _

"_I didn't mean—" _

"_You. Don't," he repeatedly ground out. "Ever." _

_My face flushed in anger, frustrated that he wasn't accepting my apology. Like words didn't mean anything to him. A flash of bitter fury seared my heart. Maybe they didn't. Maybe he hadn't even meant _it_. What he'd said. Maybe if I accepted that, I could just cut loose. Because I sure as hell didn't need—_

"_We're going out," he muttered. _

"_I can't." _

_He cocked an eyebrow dangerously. _

_I sighed. "I promised my aunt I wouldn't go out. They're at work, but—"_

"_Then what they don't know won't _hurt_ them." _

_I glared at him but I could already feel my resolve snapping in half. _

"_Get, ah…some decent clothes on, hmm?" I glanced down at myself. To my horror, I realized too late I was still clad in my Eeyore pajama pants and a very, _very_ loose tank top. I hastily grabbed the nearest pillow from the couch and hugged it against my chest, pulling myself to my feet. _

_His eyes narrowed. "Nothing tha-_t_," he let the syllable lay pregnant in the air for a moment, "hasn't been seen before." _

_The implication was strong enough. He wasn't even talking about himself and all of his glorious nonexistent experiences—but _mine_. My unintentional, forced… "Go to hell, Josh Kerit," I hissed. My feet carried me up the staircase, tripping at each step as I fought to blink back that annoying, burning sensation prickling at my eyes. What the hell was his problem, anyway? _

"_Running out of comebacks already, _Har_ley?" his lips hung on my name. But I kept running. _

_I slammed my bedroom door and locked it. Childish, I know. But I was so pissed; I didn't know what else to do. Who was he to break into my house and throw me around like some rag doll? _

_He was Josh Kerit. That's who he was. And somehow that name held power. Or maybe it was the person who made the name powerful. _

_I could hear him coming up the stairs. He'd never been in this house before, but he managed to stop right in front of my room. I stood on the other side, glaring at the wood before turning to my closet and pulling on a hoodie and jeans. Slipping into a pair of boots, I gave one last glare at the door before quietly unlatching the window. _

"_Shit, Leesters, you know me…I'd never," he cut off abruptly, letting out a choked cackle. But I was already straddling the sill, waiting for an apology I was sure would never come. _

"_You just know…you know where _ev_ery damn button is to push." _

_I snorted. "So self-defense is a button of yours? I was trying to protect myself—" _

"Damn_it, Harley. You damn well don't need to, not from me." I could hear him trying the knob, one simple twist that wouldn't give, but it was enough to spike my adrenaline. I rounded on the window, staring out at the white-sheeted backyard. I twisted off the sill, hands wrapping around a limb and boots connecting with a lower one. I shimmied, heart hammering in my chest at the rush of being ten feet off the ground. I vaguely wondered if I could fly—the blood pumping through my veins, skin tingling in the cold, and my heart whispering, _Yes, you can._ I grinned at the feral rush. Even after I heard my door explode off its hinge and closet doors slam, and bed squeaking in protest at the overturn. I could just imagine his face tight with rage, nose contorted in animalistic disgust at his little toy being lost rather than found. _

_I could imagine, that is, until I glanced up to see him towering over me, half out the window. He bared his yellow teeth at me, practically snarling as he spat out every vulgar insult in the book, and then some I had no doubt would be added soon. _

_I just smiled up at him. Grinning. Giggling. Until the giggling gave over to fits of uncontrollable laughter and my lungs refused to take the stretching between my arms and booted toes. They seized and I lost my balance, suddenly suspended in midair with my fingers barely clutching the icy limb above me. But I couldn't wipe off that damn grin. _

_Because it was like this climactic release I'd been searching for. I was out here, quite literally, on a limb. And completely unreachable. Not even Josh Kerit, though his huge hands swiped at the distance angrily, could not catch me. I could hang here, and he was up there, and there was _nothing_ he could do about it. _

_But there was something gravity could do about it. _

_My fingers, in a fit of rebellion, decided to let go before I could redirect my strength. _

"_HARLEY!!!" he roared furiously, arm stretching at an impossible length as his fingertips at last made contact, but could not grab or hold me back from the ten-foot drop. _

_I smiled, even as I fell. I must have been insane—like something in me just snapped, and I didn't—couldn't—care anymore. Reckless, I guess. It took me a few minutes to blink away the darkness and pull myself back. I giggled when I came to a sudden realization, which had been born either from a serious lack of sleep or head trauma: _

_I was not invincible. _

_Josh Kerit's little toy was very, _very_ breakable. _

_And it was a weakness, a human flaw he had absolutely _zero_ control over. And _I_ was the one holding all the cards. He may have had a full house, but this was the ace up my sleeve. My blood boiled with the intensity of it. Even as my limbs began to tingle and regain their feeling, my head screaming at me, I couldn't wipe that damn smile off. The sight of his face as I'd fallen: stricken, sick, furious—scared as hell. He _needed_ me, for some idiotic reason. But he had to have remembered in that moment that I had an expiration date. With all of his control, my life was just small enough to slip through the cracks of his immoral chaos. He had _no_ power. _

"_The hell do you think you're doing, Harleen Quintzel?" his voice demanded in a sharp bark. I glanced to my left over the mound of disgusting snow that had cushioned my fall. He wasn't wearing a coat, just a tight black shirt and ripped jeans, hands shoved in the pockets as he stalked predatorily towards me. I hadn't expected that. I'd envisioned him tearing across the snow, cradling me maybe, dropping a hundred F-bombs. _

_But there he was, eyes hooded with murderous intent, posture rigid as he carried himself with remarkable grace despite the foot of snow obstructing his path. I shuddered, but it wasn't from the cold or my dampened hair, or even my soaked clothes which had sucked up the melting snow like a sponge. I unconsciously scrunched up my face—I _hated_ snow. _

_He paused several feet away, deadly gaze latching onto me, like he was calculating how much of a head start he'd give me before ripping me to shreds—make his little game _fair_. I lifted my chin in challenge. He tucked his further in to his chest, accepting. His hair slid over one eye, but I didn't need to see both. _

"_The hell are you doing, you damn harlequin?" he repeated again brokenly, voice teetering on a grating cackle. _

_I could only stare at him. "You don't scare me, Josh." Stupid. Liar. Really, Harley? Really? _

_His face broke out into a menacing grin. "I could kill you, you know," he drew out carefully, lips buzzing at each syllable. His fists were quivering. "I could sna_p_," he popped his lips, "your delicate little spine in two…no resistance from your vertebrae." He bit his bottom lip, baring his teeth again as he scrunched up half his face in a snarl. "Stacked things are mean_t_ to be knocked down—things buil_t_ to las_t_ beg to have their foundations collapse." I could feel the color draining from my face as his bloodthirsty eyes found mine. My spine bristled, and I felt like now I was sinking not only into the snow, but the ground. "You _nev_er…make the first hi-_t_ with me, Har_ley_," he sneered pointedly. "Either be the first to _be_ hit or stay out of my fucking way. Go-_t_, i-_t_, pup?" _

_Something in me snapped—and thank God it wasn't my spine. Because, suddenly, I found myself growing one—a spine, that is. Who was _he_ to run me out of windows and down trees of my own family's house? _I_ had control. Little, brittle me. My insides clenched. I could push him. I could push him far. My only fear was for the God-forsaken people that would stand in his way when he pushed my mortality too far. _

_I snorted. Unconsciously, my hands were already busy, packing and molding. I didn't even realize it until it was too late. A mound of snow was plastered all over Josh's face. Something told me it was a big mistake to play with fire, but _I_ decided I'd already been burnt—what were a few more third-degree scars? _

_His upper lip curled back again but there was a familiar, playful gleam in his eyes. "Don't start a game unless you intend to finish it, _girl,_" he chuckled mirthlessly. "I'll fight back tooth per nail." _

_But my hand was already around another snowball, arm twisting back to release my weapon. I was angry, _damnit_, and he thought it was a fucking joke. "Shut the f—" _

_He exploded in laughter. I exploded in rage. _

_I pulled myself to my feet and lunged at him, arms instinctively trapping around his middle and ramming my head between his ribs. _

_He wasn't even phased. But that damn giggle box grew louder as he slipped his arms dangerously tight around me, squeezing the air out of my lungs. I growled, nails clawing and lifting my leg to deliver a swift blow to his crotch. But his leg was there, sweeping mine out from under me so that he supported my weight with his violent bear hug. "I HATE YOU!" I screamed, my throat scratchy and enraged from the force. One arm slipped, but it was all I needed. Fist met bone. He only snorted then cackled louder as we toppled over into the snow. _

"_IS EVERYTHING A FUCKING JOKE TO YOU?!" I screeched, drawing my arm back to drive it forward harder. He was sputtering—but even beneath the lack of oxygen, he was still chortling like a maniac. _

"_You never meant _any_ of it, _did you_?!" My voice was unrecognizable. It's like I'd given way to some beast that had been coaxed—more like forcefully brought—out of its cage. "You're a piece of shit, do you know that, Josh Kerit?! A _jok_ing piece of _shit_!!" _

_Disgusted with my suddenly precarious position, legs straddling his waist as my rage dissipated to a fuming fury, but restrain-able, I climbed off him. I'd just made it to my feet when they were ripped out from under me. I braced myself for a torrent of pain, but the only thing I collided into was _him_. He caught me. I was too tired to fight him off now, merely stiffening in some mild preparation for his returned vengeance. But it never came. Instead, his nails raked jaggedly, but soothingly, through my scalp, smothering any further ideas of escape. _

_I was shaking. _

_He was shaking. _

_We stayed like that until dusk. I was fuming, but it was like his hand was weaving some sick calming spell over me. I couldn't think straight. He was like a drug. I hated my addiction, but fear chained me from leaving it for good. _

"_The light went out," he growled ruggedly, chest rumbling under my ear. _

_My lips twitched. "The sun went down, moron." _

_Within milliseconds, I was unceremoniously dumped from the warmth and into the frigid cold of melting snow. I winced, but Josh's hands were around my waist, hoisting me up on my feet, twisting me to face him. I flinched again. One eye was slightly swollen but not shut. There was a trail of dried blood cracking down his lips from his nose. And a touch of purple was rising just above his right brow, puffing up around three jagged marks where my nails had clawed at him. There was a tear in the neckline of his thin, muscle-encasing shirt. I shuddered, mouth agape as I stared in horror at what I had done—what I had been _capable_ of doing. And then he was reaching for my jaw, trapping it in the palm of his hands as he jerked me close, eyes narrowing dangerously. "I'm per-fect-ly a_ware_…of our planet's orbi_t_, _Har_ley." He licked his bloodied lips. His eyes flickered shut, like he _enjoyed_ the taste of it. Monster. _No—_I corrected—_I'm _the monster. _

"_I meant," he began again, looking somewhere over my shoulder, "_your_ light. Kitten hasn't, ah, shown her claws in a while." His eyes trailed back to mine, effectively trapping me. "I didn't declaw you for a reason, Leesters. I didn't…_break_ you for a fucking damn reason: you weren't afraid of me then." He growled in the back of his throat in frustration. Vulnerability had a way of itching at his dark conscience. "I'm _tired_ of babysitting a kid who doesn't wan-_t_ to p-_lay_. You—before you knew the game like the back of your fucking little hand. And after—after—ah, _fuck_. You just…didn't anymore. I can't _p_lay with a toy that refuses to _move_ when it's wound up tight. You, ah, ya know what happens to broken toys, _Har_ley?" _

_I shook my head the little I was allowed, mouth suddenly dry. _

"_They either get fixed." _

_He sucked in a sharp breath, lungs twisting on the verge of a laugh. _

"_Or they don't make i-_t_ very far withou-_t_ all their…parts." _

_I swallowed thickly. "So either fight back, or die?" _

_He giggled. "When in Rome…" _

_I reared back, jerking my body away from his before his fingers ensnared the back of my neck and crashed our foreheads together. _

"_Or," he purred, "I could accept a down payment _now_. Think of it as…a physical reminder?" His thumb unconsciously flicked over my neck, tracing an imagined curly-Q design that felt oddly like a J. Like he wanted to carve me out like a pumpkin. _

_I glared at him. I scrunched up my face in forced anger, anything to slip back into that carefully indifferent mask I'd been wearing, the one he hated. "No. I can remember just fine with all my digits intact, you sick fu—" _

"_Ah, ta, ta, there she _is_," he bit out through clenched teeth, his grip growing painfully firmer. He was smiling, but he wasn't, teeth bared in some primal show of dominance. He leaned back slightly, taking me with him until he froze. His eyes slid away from mine for a second time, honing in on something. In a flash, he twisted me around like a doll and drew my back into his chest. It was more for a slow in momentum than a tender embrace, the way I slammed into him. But it wasn't the lack of intimacy that had my blood boiling again. It was the foreign car that sat parked in my aunt and uncle's driveway, a fresh crop of tracks behind it. _

"_Expecting company?" he hissed hotly in my ear. _

_I shook my head, my own eyes narrowing. "It's not my aunt or uncle. And they didn't say anything about company." _

_He ducked his chin to rest on my shoulder, thinking for a moment. I could feel his heart beat against my back. It struck me odd, for a moment, to realize he even _had_ one. "I didn't come in that way, so everything's still locked." _

_My brow rose. "What way _did_ you come in?" _

_He seethed. "Secrets, secrets." He pulled back and gave me a sudden shove towards the tree. "Go get warm. I'll be in in a minute." _

"_If I had such a hard time getting _down_, I'm pretty sure _up_ will be just as—" suddenly I was in the air, his hands gripping my hips as he lifted me into the air easily. My hands grappled for purchase, locking in on a snow-less branch. He kept his hands in place until my boots connected with leverage and I was able to hold my own. With an indignant slap on my rump, he disappeared towards the front of the house. _

_It took me ten unsteady minutes to breach the distance between the icy tree and the jagged window ledge. But when I finally made it, I collapsed on the carpet with my roaring lungs. My throat felt scratchy and my nose was running—a swift end to the awesome power I'd felt earlier. _

_I snorted. Figures. I was immune to Josh, but colds were an _entirely_ different story. _

_A door slammed, rattling the walls in its wake. A vase broke. _

"_Shit! Would you mind _not_ tearing the house up before my aunt and uncle get back?!" I collected myself before climbing to my feet. _

_No witty comeback. _

_No response at all. _

_I rolled my eyes. "Josh, I don't have time for this." _

_Nothing. _

_Except…_there_. A floorboard creaked downstairs. There was a dull thud. Followed by another. Footsteps. I shivered but pretended it was from the snowy wind gushing through the open window. I shut and locked it, suddenly all-too-aware of the eerie silence and the massive distance between me and the light switch. _

"_Josh?" _

_The thuds were falling on the stairwell now. One. Pause. Two. Pause. Three. Pause. Each one grew gradually louder, like a climactic crescendo of some impending doom. I blinked at the darkness, trying to see. It was no good; I may as well have been blind. _

_My heart was pounding in my ears—I crouched down and ducked behind what I thought was the bed just as the intruder reached the top steps. It paused at the landing. I could feel my palms growing sweaty, and in a moment of nervousness, tension which was steadily building up, made its way up my throat. _

_I begged it back down, clapping both hands over my mouth and nearly breathing a sigh of relief as_ _Its steps creaked and then pounded rapidly down the wooden hall—away from my door. It took me two seconds to make a decision before I was out the door. I'd made it halfway down the stairs before another crash echoed below, somewhere in the kitchen. I halted mid-step. And there it was again: that building pressure in my stomach. Glass shattered. I tried to reason with my stomach, coax it to realize we were in deep shit here, and it needed to compromise with me. _

_In the end, I lost. _

_My throat constricted and my diaphragm seized. _

_I hiccoughed. _

_Everything froze. _

_A door slammed upstairs, but my flight instinct picked it over the guttural growls erupting downstairs followed by pounding footsteps. I whirled and flew up the stairs, back into the comfort of my room. The door was already open at an angle, but I simply slid just inside the room, poising myself at the opposite frame of the door, tucked back and out of sight of the hallway. I was shaking. Hard. My jaw was chattering and I could barely muffle a string of whimpers. I was brave—no, who am I kidding? I was scared shitless. I _wasn't_ invincible, and that realization wasn't doing much for me anymore. And despite what Josh wanted, I couldn't find enough strength then to pull myself together. Let's face it: things like this didn't happen every day. _

"HARLEY!!_" _

_I let out a scream, jerking my head back to ram into the wall. As if it wasn't dark enough, my vision folded at the corners. But relief was there. "Josh?!" _

"_Harley fucking Quintzel, get your ass down here _now_!" he roared. I could hear him making his way hastily to the bottom of the steps. There was an edge to his voice, like metal grating on metal. It froze my heart. He was serious. Dead serious. No joking. _

_What the hell was going on? _

"_Someone's here, and the fucking power's been cut. _Harley_, get the fu—" _

_I made to move, and words were tumbling out that seemed to make sense in the moment. I should have kept my damn mouth shut. I should have just _obeyed_ him for once. But no. That would be too easy for Harley Quintzel. "Josh, my aunt and uncle will be back in a few minutes! That's not enough time to warn them—" _

_The door slammed, nearly crushing my fingers, before I could slip out of it. My adjusted eyes slid to the corner which the door had been covering moments before. _It_ was there, unfolding itself from the corner before towering over me. _

"_No, but it's _plenty_ of time for me to do _this_." _

_I screamed just before my head connected with the wall and everything went pitch black. _

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**a/n: wow…I'm probably walking on eggshells with you lovely people right now. I extend my deepest apologies, as it's been months. I know there's no proper excuse to make up for this, so I offer this chapter as a peace offering, and a shaky promise to update more regularly. Sophomore year has me up to my eyeballs in homework, and I stupidly decided to take on a graduate-level course in Southern Novel where I read a novel a week and write a paper—thus my lack of time when compounded with other classes. **

**To those of you still following this story, old and new readers, I want to thank you sooooo much for your dedication and patience. Thank you for all of the reviews in my absence (you know who you are!). I will not shamelessly beg for them now. I'm simply happy to be back in the writing business. **

**A request: I'm currently looking for a beta reader—someone I can bounce ideas back and forth with for a while until I'm capable of getting back on my own two feet in the next month or two. I simply don't have time to etch out every plot detail, though I do know where I want this story to go. I'd love some inspiration! **

**Many thanks again. I apologize for the long A/N, but hopefully this was a long chapter to quench your thirsts. **


	30. AN

**A/N: Dear readers, **

**I seriously hate to be one of those authors, but this story needs to go on hiatus at least until the semester is over. Last semester's Southern Novel drove me insane, and now I'm undergoing an Oxford Tutorial in hopes of going to Oxford next year. I know, I know, that sounds like a lame excuse. But with school being so demanding, I unfortunately don't have time to properly mold and shape this story in respect to our favorite clown. I promise I will pick it up with the semester's end, and maybe, if you're lucky, a chapter or so between then. I again –sincerely- apologize. Look for me in the summer and maybe random bits between now and then. **

**Your loving authoress, **

**blacksilkrose123.**


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